No kids, how come?

[Fisher's Mom]

Fisher's Mom, you are way cool. I had the same talks with my teenagers (while the 10 year old overheard the talk). They called me the condom lady. I used a rootbeer bottle, though the banana would have worked, had we had bananas in the house that day. The neighborhood boys would take condoms from the medicine cabinet--better safe than sorry.
Later that day, the 10 year old is making on a comment on something completely unrelated, and he says 'That makes condom sense'.........we all burst out laughing. Poor kid can't live that one down and he's 17 now.

OMG Bliss, that is soooo funny! He sounds like a great kid! And I'm thinking your family will be saying "condom sense" for generations to come. I never thought of the rootbeer bottle - it would have been better maybe. I stuck to bananas and cucumbers.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

My foot was halfway in the nunnery when I married........used to wrap a towel around my head and give out Holy Communion in the neighborhood---thought I wanted to be a nun for the longest time........boy did my dad get some phone calls

I can't get that picture out of my head now - you with a towel around your head giving the sacrament! My naughty son Nick went to a Catholic school here for kinder through 2nd grade. Since we aren't Catholic, the Mass was new to him and he was really taken with the sacrament, too. He used a Dixie cup with a kleenex laid over the top and gave us all communion at least daily for months. The funniest part was the priest at the school was Irish with a very thick brogue and Nick always used the accent when he gave communion, too!

 

[Maverick2272]

Yea, I can just see me handing out the sacrament while my 3 year old is tugging at me leg saying, "I wan sum, I wan sum!"

 

[expatgirl]

I can't get that picture out of my head now - you with a towel around your head giving the sacrament! My naughty son Nick went to a Catholic school here for kinder through 2nd grade. Since we aren't Catholic, the Mass was new to him and he was really taken with the sacrament, too. He used a Dixie cup with a kleenex laid over the top and gave us all communion at least daily for months. The funniest part was the priest at the school was Irish with a very thick brogue and Nick always used the accent when he gave communion, too!

How funny, Fisher's Mom, how cute and I can just visualize him doing it, too!!!! We had a Dutch priest in my gram's parish who was scary in the confessional who once asked me at age 6 if I thought playing was a sin. What was this? A trick question? This wasn't in the catechism that we had to painstakingly memorize.... So I hesitatingly quivered a "no???" Then he had the nerve to ask me why not.....now I knew we were in a different world.........uh, cause Jesus played?????....... Pause...."Gut answer" was his reply........glad I could think quickly on my knees.....

Yeah, I'm sure I looked hilarious in my "Nun" getup........and Mav I have witnessed kids in church demanding to have the McWafers to go, too!!! Yep, if you have them, you will certainly laugh...........

 

[babetoo]

when my daughter was little , we attended the wedding of a cousin. the chapel was very old and neither the seating nor the sound was very good. i put her on the aisle so she could see better.

few minutes later , very loudly she said "do u suppose god gets bored at weddings" much laughter from the congregation. i was embarrassed.

babe

 

[expatgirl]

when my daughter was little , we attended the wedding of a cousin. the chapel was very old and neither the seating nor the sound was very good. i put her on the aisle so she could see better.

few minutes later , very loudly she said "do u suppose god gets bored at weddings" much laughter from the congregation. i was embarrassed.

babe

OMG!! I'm laughing so hard!!! Kids do tell it like it is that's for sure......!!!

 

[Maverick2272]

Too funny!!

 

[suziquzie]

I have told them that I'd really like at least one grandchild someday and that if they wanted to draw straws to see who had to do the deed, that was OK with me.

Geez FM you're looking for grandkids already???
Chill!!! Take a mintue for a shower and a book ALL in the same DAY!!!!!

I always wanted kids, timing wasn't picked... TJ and I had been best friends and dated on and off from age 16 til 23, then we finally hooked up..... and moved to Indiana together.. (DUMB IDEA! Indiana, not him.)
We came back and were house hunting, thinking how horrible it would be to be "tied down" right now and not be able to do what you want whenever you want. I kid you not, 3 days after this conversation I find myself with child....
oops.
LONG story short, we had a boy, bought a house, had another boy, bought another house, got married, lost a baby , and Lego girl rounded out the bunch.
My parents were 34 and 37 when they STARTED having kids. I knew I didn't want that. Imgine not getting rid of ME til you were almost ready to retire????
That's part of my story and I'm stickin' to it....

 

[Alix]

OK, I gotta comment on the "using birth control correctly" thing. Trust me when I tell you that even using the methods correctly (and more than one at a time I might add) is STILL not fail safe. The only fail safe method is abstinence. Even the Pill can be compromised.

And expatgirl, love the nun thing!

 

[suziquzie]

I second her motion.....
My first and "technical" third (lost that one) BOTH happened while taking MANY precautions! (including abstinence by the 3rd one ha ha )

 

[Maverick2272]

All of ours came along when using protection... go figure LOL.

 

[StellaSquash]

Almost as soon as I was out of my wedding dress, I was ready for kids. I literally had that "longing" feeling. I went through a miscarriage, but a year and a half after our wedding, my son was born. Two years and twelve days later, I had my daughter. The direct result of another "longing". To date, I have NOT had that longing.

I see babies all the time. I get a tiny twinge, but within a few minutes, I'm once again back to the "no more kids" sense. Not to say that couldn't change, but we're at that point where we can up and go, or at the very lease, sleep more than 3 hours in a stretch. lol

I also had the chance to see another side of "longing". I was a gestational surrogate for a couple who couldn't have children. It took us two years to finally deliver a baby girl and I can tell you, I NEVER in my life experienced that kind of longing.

I have a greater understanding of the pain of not being able to have kids. It makes me mad when friends and family think it's their business to know "when are you going to have kids?" Almost like it's a requirement for being married.

Both of my husbands siblings are unable to have children. From the little bit I got from my one sister in law, my mother in law felt they weren't "trying hard enough". I don't understand why people feel that having children is the only logical thing to do after marriage.

I have nothing but respect for people that choose not to have children. Their reasons make no difference. Obviously I think kids would enhance their lives, but that doesn't mean it's true. I'm biased.

Admittedly, there are times when my mind wanders and I wonder what my life would be like without kids. I don't mean I wish that, I just wonder. Some people just have a lifestyle not suited for children, and they enjoy it. There's really nothing wrong with that, imo, and I commend them for not trying to stick kids into a lifestyle that doesn't fit.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

OK, I gotta comment on the "using birth control correctly" thing. Trust me when I tell you that even using the methods correctly (and more than one at a time I might add) is STILL not fail safe. The only fail safe method is abstinence. Even the Pill can be compromised.

And expatgirl, love the nun thing!

So true, Alix. That's why you have to ready for anything! But it amazes me that so many people don't know how to put a condom on correctly (I don't know how to clarify this without getting graphic) - the directions are right on the package! (Wait - I may have just figured that out. Men and reading directions. Hmmm)

Also, there are a lot of teen girls that don't understand that birth control pills do not become fully effective until you have taken them for 2 months. Or that you can't just take them when you are going to have sex. Or that they are not effective if you are taking antibiotics or certain other medications.

Because no method is 100% effective even when used correctly, it's really important that teens understand exactly how to use each method to minimize the failure rate. After all, they are the least prepared to handle the consequences if an unexpected pregnancy occurs.

 

[B'sgirl]

I seriously think opting to have more than two children in an overpopulated world merits serious consideration. But for those parents who are gifted I can see why the temptation would be great.

I hope my answer doesn't offend.

I'm not offended and don't mean to offend either. I just wanted to put in a word about overpopulation. I think this world is capable of providing sustenance for many, many more people than currently live in it. It is the way we humans manage our land, resources, and relationships that cause hunger and other problems. You are right that there is a problem, but there are those who contribute to the problem and those who contribute to society.

I intend to have 5 or 6 children and I don't think I'll be contributing to the world hunger problem. I intend to raise children who grow up to be good individuals who contribute to society and help provide rather than take away. And I don't intend to have more children than I can afford to provide for with my own money and resources. I think the problem comes when people who cannot or will not provide for their own children have them. I'd say more but it would involve politics, which is taboo here.

I wish I could sow my tone of voice in writing just so you could tell that i'm not angry or accusing. Just stating my belief on the topic.

 

[Bigjim68]

I was listening to Dr. Dean Odell (a syndicated doctor) on my way back from NC today, and this subject came up. Dr Odell stated that there can be "leakage" even after a vasectomy. Now that is scary.

 

[miniman]

I was listening to Dr. Dean Odell (a syndicated doctor) on my way back from NC today, and this subject came up. Dr Odell stated that there can be "leakage" even after a vasectomy. Now that is scary.

I know of someone who got pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy!!!

 

[expatgirl]

Well, I can tell you about a very funny lady who had twins in her late 40's---Ginny was her name and we all loved her.......she was in our monthly pokeno group and noone missed her month-----Feb----she was the best Cajun cook ever.......anyway, Ginny told us that she got pregnant with TWINS after her DH's fixer upper and it was cause he wasn't going in for the tests---too much trouble........ most vasectomies in order to be effective have to have 2-3 semen tests in a row that show no activity........took my husband nearly 3 months to have those 3 in a row of no Mark Spitz olympic swimmers before you're considered safe..........glad, that I wasn't a pioneer woman or I would have been a Ma Kettle that's for sure...........

 

[Foodfiend]

I've never even had the urge to have kids, and my parents don't seem to mind. I'm now near the age of 50, so if I even wanted to, it's a little too late. I was born an old maid and I'm going to die an old maid. I've seen people my generation give birth to kids, and the kids have grown up wanting for nothing, and their 'little darlings' can do no wrong. God help this country then for they are some of the laziest sons of hunka's I've ever seen. They go whining to mama to fix the wrong they did by blaming it on somebody else, and then wonder why they don't have any friends to hang around with. I'd (figuratively not literally) kill them! Plus the fact that we've currently got the beginnings of WW3 wanting to start up in the middle east and I don't want to have to send kids over there. There's enough over there as it is, and I'm praying for their safe return someday. My frame set of mind was not made for kids, I never 'heard' my 'biological clock' go off (whatever THAT sounds like I'd sure like to know), and it's no big loss. My parents as I said are okay with the thought that none of their 4 kids are going to have kids of their own, even though my younger brother has married into a pre-made family with the best well-behaved kids I've seen in a long time and one of them has ADD.

 

[pugger]

Planned on a Couple

Good question, and insensitive if you equate the lack of kids to the intent not to have them. Though I'm sure most folks don't intend these questions that way. And there is nothing wrong w/ not wanting kids, either.

We planned on a couple of kids, nature planned on none. Fertility testing & methods, depression, hormonal imbalance due to fertility drugs and anguish over this are what most folks w/ kids are lucky enough not to know. Be grateful, and if you are about to tell someone, "don't worry, you'll have kids someday soon ..." or etc. , don't do it. We don't need to be reminded of what we're already living with.

Thanks.

 

[suziquzie]

Um, I hope you dont mean I was being insensitive by asking. It was an innocent question, and I said in the very first post I understand that if you cant you cant.
Never said there was anything wrong with not having them. Nobody did or would say that.
My intent was not to hurt anyone and I'm sorry if I did.