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Old 07-04-2008, 09:55 AM   #71
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I believe you should have the desire to have children not have them just because it is expected. My DHs family has genetics he wouldn't want to chance passing on. I never had the desire. I love my neice and nephew and I got my "child fix" with them. My sis and her husband never wanted them. I'm not sure why - never asked. A woman I work with is lesbian and has a very narrow birth canal. She wanted to be a mother badly. A friend helped her become pregnant and after 2 dangerous pregnancies and C-sections she has a son and daughter. She is an excellent mother and very happy. All of us are different and no one should judge another.
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Old 07-04-2008, 10:47 AM   #72
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There are a few reasons that I never became a mother, and never will be.

- I am too self-centred. I do enjoy hanging out with children (not any and all of them, just the nice ones) on my own terms, but there is no way I can deal with the 24/7/365 commitment and having my own little world turned upside down by a child.

- Generally I do very well with children over 6 or 7 years of age. (again, on my own terms) However I have no idea whatsoever how to interact with babies and toddlers, I even feel rather terrified about that idea.

- I didn't have a good relation with my own mother. As dedicated and well-intended as she was, it went all wrong, she presented herself as an oppressive, intimidating dictator while I was growing up. The impression remains firm and because of this "motherhood" doesn't inspire anything positive or attractive to me.

Many people say I think this way because I haven't experienced it, and it will all change if the baby actually arrives. But I do feel in my gut this is not to be, I just don't have a maternal instinct. Too many people decide to have a baby anyway while they are so totally unprepared or unfit to do so, and things go all downhill with the baby. I think it is a lot more unfortunate and even tragic than a life without your own offspring.
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Old 07-04-2008, 11:12 AM   #73
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Children can fill your heart with incredible joy...and they can rip it to shreds. I love mine more than life itself, but I wouldn't blame anyone for making the decision not to have them, especially in this day and age.
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Old 07-04-2008, 02:37 PM   #74
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Someday I would love children, but right now I'm 21, just started my career and am engaged. We still have our "omg could I be pregnant" as I'm allergic to latex but am on birth control. I also have PCOS so when we decide to I may have a very difficult time conceiving.
Children are not for everyone, my sister in law does not want children. She works with enough kids at her job and spoils everyone of them whereas my other sister in law wants to be a baby maker which is fine if thats her thing. I think the decision should be up to the individual.
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Old 07-04-2008, 03:36 PM   #75
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No kids here and don't want them. I like kids I just don't feel the need to have my own. Although I won't go into detail here as to why, its not always the best discussion since everyone has such different opinions.
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Old 07-04-2008, 04:34 PM   #76
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Holy cow look at all thses posts!
:)
And some very honest posts by the Ladies, thank you Girls
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Old 07-04-2008, 05:14 PM   #77
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I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.
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Old 07-04-2008, 05:30 PM   #78
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I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.
Oh MY Goodness NO. You have been given a special gift both in having your children and being able to be a wonderful and loving parent. You knew it was right for you and we knew it was not right for us. That is why we have chocolate and vanilla. It takes a special person to be a good understanding parent, I applaud you all.
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Old 07-04-2008, 06:27 PM   #79
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I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.
no, the only time I regret being around parents with kids is when they are being abusive around them..........I can't and won't read child abuse cases... CAN'T...had one here in TX a few months ago that still makes me cry.........stupid, stepfather stayed at home to "train" the 3 year old..........beat her to a pulp,,,,,,,,,I still cry today at this toddler's ordeal and resulting death===that's when I draw the line at people having children that they don't want.....if you have them and can't handle the responsibilities then there are resources out there to help you in placing them within a loving home.............
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Old 07-04-2008, 06:38 PM   #80
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Sorry, SQ, went off a bit on a little tangent...........case just came up again in the Houston papers so the pain is fresh again......most people I think believe like most of us that what your decisions are in bringing children into the world are yours and yours alone.........who cares who or whom look down on you......it's your life and what you make of it......be d........d to what they think....... you and your hubby are the ones raising them........and your daughter by her last pic doesn't looks like she's got the world by the tail.......so keep on loving and hugging her and be glad that she's there
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