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Old 07-04-2008, 08:35 PM   #81
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expat you make me glad to be me....
my mom just left after an " I had to" visit....
this is why I ask.
I try VERY hard not to be emotional, but it doesn't work.
Anyone wanna adopt me? MIL is here and volunteered, but then that would just make things wierd......
Thank you everyone for being you!
Happy 4th!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
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Old 07-04-2008, 09:01 PM   #82
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I'll adopt you anyday SQ if you're not a debate champ :):)..........I can't win an argument with my daughter these days for anything no matter what---it's awful.......hahaha...........no just hang in there........life will get easier as a parent I promise... when lego girl hits 12-15 then you're going to hit another hurdle in your lives------just have your seatbelts ready is all I'm saying............by then you will be older, wiser and have been around the block a few times and will be able to handle the next hurdle and maybe she'll surprise you..........this is God's laugh for the day...........Adam and Eve were probably teens.......no kidding.......and God had problems with them listening......why should we be different..........he practiced tough love and kicked them out, too....thousands of years of more problems.......so hang in there.........and yes, I'll adopt you anyday

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Old 07-04-2008, 09:53 PM   #83
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Ah, now I see your reason for asking, Suzi. I'm curious about that too. What I hate is getting looked down on for being a stay-at-home mom. Having "no profession", although I have a bachelor's degree and spent two years teaching before having children. I miss teaching sometimes, but I wouldn't give up staying home with my children for anything. A lot of people complained about raising kids in a world like this one. That is precisely why I will not work again until my children are raised--I don't want anyone else raising them.

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Old 07-04-2008, 10:55 PM   #84
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I commend people that want kids but as I posted before it was not for me. I'm 50 now but remember people all women of course thinking and saying I must be off or strange or I must not like men as a young girl I always said I would not have kids. Now in this time it's much more acceptable. I have also had older women say to me " Don't get me wrong I love my kids and would not replace them for anything in the world. But?" We have to remember in years gone by there really was no birth control and a womens worth was based on having children. So I say Bravo to the women that want and crave children and to the ones that do not want or crave children. Doesn't mean we hate kids we just don't want to have them.
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
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Old 07-05-2008, 12:22 AM   #85
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Originally Posted by suziquzie View Post
I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.
I don't have children, partly because I have to take medication that is toxic to a fetus, but I also chose not to adopt, because I have chronic illnesses that I think would be too hard on a child, and too hard on me trying to take care of a child. So we "borrow" exchange students They're teenagers when they come to us, so it's much easier to take care of them.

I have always felt that everyone should be productive in life, but there are lots of ways to do that. Working at a paid job, going to school, raising children and/or volunteering with a charity or in the community are all great ways to contribute to society.

What drives me nuts is people who don't do *anything* - like my neighbor's daughter. She had two kids in her teens by two different fathers, and both children are now living with their fathers' families. She seems to spend her days sitting around smoking. She doesn't work or go to school. Doesn't do anything but smoke, as far as I can see. It's really sad to watch.

I hope this answers your question, Suzi. IMO, it's a great thing you're doing
Anyplace where people argue about food is a good place.
~ Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown, 2018
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Old 07-05-2008, 12:34 AM   #86
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SQ, I think you initiated a really profound discussion that featured many different points of view and honestly expressed feelings. That's pretty rare on an internet forum, but this is an TRULY exceptional group of people. I am really impressed by the quality of this discussion and want to commend all of you for being so honest.
Saludos, Karen
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Old 07-05-2008, 01:17 AM   #87
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Why is it that when I write a response I think is important, it gets lost? Anyway, I chose childless,and anyone who wants to talk about it knows how to find me! Not everyone is mean to be a parent, and many who think they are really should think about it as well.
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Old 07-05-2008, 01:37 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by Russellkhan View Post
Not conclusive. A quick Googling shows Monsanto money funding Cornell studies.
Did you also notice the very last paragraph?

"more long-term studies on possible effects of bGH are needed"

I am not sure I would call that conclusive either when even they admit more studies are needed. And yes, I have always felt it wise to trace funding sources prior to making a decision on how reliable I will consider the study to be.
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Old 07-05-2008, 01:40 AM   #89
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John was born 9 months 1 hour and 21 min. after we said "I do" ...Paul said "I did?" for the next 52 years....then Kevin came along 17 years after John and I thank God for him everyday. He is all that has kept me on this earth...really.
May I always be the person my dog thinks I am.

Walk towards the Sunshine and the Shadows will fall behind you!
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Old 07-05-2008, 02:58 AM   #90
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Sleep evades me once again, so I've been reading threads that interest me tonight.

Having children is a very, very personal decision...provided that decision is made beyond the back seat of a car or without the aid of an intoxicant.

I had a very dysfunctional childhood. Became the "parent" of my 4 younger siblings when I was 8-years-old. That should've been enough to "cure" me from wanting children of my own, since I never really had a childhood. Strangely, I wanted children from the time I was in elementary school. Buck always said I was a born mother.

My daddy was a doctor and I clearly remember asking him when I was about 13-years-old if there was a test that could be administered that could tell me if I could have children or not. He told me there was one but that it was costly and somewhat painful. Bear in mind this was in the mid-60s.

So...I married for the first time at 19. To a widower with a 4-year-old son. Shortly into the marriage we tried to conceive. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Went to a doc. He told me it would be unlikely I'd ever have children due to a condition with my ovaries. I was heartbroken. Yet, he said, he'd order a series of tests to evaluate the severity of my condition. And, yes, my daddy was correct. The tests were expensive and not the most comfortable thing I'd ever experienced.

It was determined that I was a candidate for one of the earlier fertility drugs. It was either that or have surgery to have a "wedge" cut out of my ovaries to allow my eggs to escape in order to be fertilized. I opted for the drug.

Joy of joys, I became pregnant with my first son. However, it wasn't easy sailing because the pregnancy was, shall I say, challenging. Thankfully, in December 1970 we welcomed our son, who was healthy and sound.

Fast forward several years later. Wanted more children. Each one was gained via fertility drugs. By 1974 I'd had son, daughter, son. Tried for a 4th child. No dice but, by then, my marriage was in the toilet. Husband, as it turned out, had multiple girlfriends, roached our finances, was dealing child porn, and, ultimately, was fired from his secured government job.

Back up one year, in 1973 my daddy died suddenly and I became the legal guardian of my two younger sisters, aged 12 and 13. Now I had 5 children in the house and I was only 24-years-old.

In 1976 I became a single mom. I was a basket case and had been beaten down so much by my husband I was amazed Buck even looked at me twice.

Buck came with baggage, too. Not a pretty first marriage either and two young sons about the same age as my two oldest. Somehow it all meshed.

To use a cliche, we became the Brady Bunch and, again, I had a houseful of children. I loved it. Buck only had one younger brother and he discovered how much fun a goofy, large family could be. But, it's not for everyone.

Thankfully, all 5 of the children are close. Have been together since they were about 2-years-old, so they've grown up together. Celebrated birthdays together, shopped for Christmas presents together, etc. We were blessed because blended families are the things nightmares are made of.

I wish I had a penny for every time Buck said I was meant to be a mother. I'd be rich beyond imagination. I loved it when he said that.

This is my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm blessed that all the children are here for me and even though Buck's sons weren't born under my heart, they are in my heart and always will be.

For those folks who choose not to have children, you make your choice because you feel it's best for you and I respect that. Being a parent is not for everyone, but it's perfect for me.

"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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