No kids, how come?

[suziquzie]

Holy cow look at all thses posts!

 

[ribs and steak]

I'm 40 something and dont regret not having the pitter patter of little feet in the house, with the exception of cats. Even after I was out of high school i dated once but it turned out not to be what I expected.

On the other hand pets seem to fill the void anyway. I have nothing against raising little ones i just feel i dont have the patience nor the funds to do it.

 

[Russellkhan]

Aw, come on. There's a lot of good right alongside the bad. Think of all the cool technologies we have. We have way more free time than lots of our ancestors. We have amazing medical technology. I could go on for hours naming the good. We just have to teach our kids to face the bad, stand up to it, or ,make it better and enjoy what's good.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think we have a horrible world here right now, and I do enjoy the wonderful technology that lets us chat here and has extended our life expectancies.

But I'm just not sure enough of a good world to grow up in and to be adults in afterwards for my kids (if I had them).

(...)I disagree that a valid reason would be that the world we live in gives them nothing to inherit. What world was there a hundred or a thousand years ago? What would those parents have said? Did they know that we would develop antibiotics? Make huge advances in medicine, economics, education, technology? Their chances of living an easy life were certainly a lot less than those born today. They had hardships we can only imagine. I did have children, three of them and all grown up. Was it a good decision? To me yes, the time of my life. Is it right for everyone? No I think not. Did I make a point? Probably not!

I don't know what my decision would have been in the world of a hundred or a thousand years ago, as I didn't grow up in that and don't know if I would have had a similar outlook then. As far as I'm concerned, it's good that you disagree. I hope you're right. I hope that I turn out to be wrong about this. But since I don't personally foresee a good future for them, I'm not going to be bringing kids into the world.

My thanks to all for your acceptance of my views, especially Barbara L, Maverick2272, Fisher's Mom, MexicoKaren and whoever else chimed in to support my saying what I did (I don't think I missed anyone, but if I did), as I was a bit nervous posting it.

Russ

 

[suziquzie]

Just want to say I hope I haven't offended anyone starting this thread.
I don't fault anyone for any decision in thier own lives. Kids are NOT for everyone!
Russell you have a valid point and I contemplate that every day. I think glass half empty most of the time.... gotta turn that around!

 

[Russellkhan]

Suzi, I can only speak for myself, but I don't see any way that you might have offended anyone by starting this thread. It has been a good and worthwhile conversation.

And I agree that the decision to have kids is very personal. I don't generally inflict my gloomy views on potential parents. They've got enough to consider without my input!

 

[GotGarlic]

My daughter is also 10, and is in a training bra... or so I am told cause she is still my little girl and I am in complete denial... but she isn't going around stuffing it, and she is not wearing it for kicks it is something she needs.
I have heard they believe there is a link to BHG in milk and girls developing early, they also have found data suggesting overweight girls will develop more quickly than girls that are at or below their recommended weight.

It's not true: FAQ

Question

Is bovine growth hormone (bGH) a health concern in meat or dairy foods?

Answer

Bovine growth hormone (bGH or sometimes rBST) is not used in livestock raised for beef. Dairy cattle are not usually slaughtered for meat for human consumption. These two points make meat and beef products unlikely food sources of bGH for humans.

The bGH used in dairy cattle to enhance milk production is a growth hormone for cows but not for humans. The bGH is not recognized as a growth hormone by human cells. Also, the bGH is a protein that is broken down into smaller fragments (peptides and amino acids) during digestion. So people who drink milk from bGH treated cows should break down bGH when they digest the milk.

While short-term studies have not indicated other effects of bGH (allergies or other effects), more long-term studies on possible effects of bGH are needed. We have written a fact sheet that addresses consumer concerns about the use of growth promoters and hormones in livestock and dairy cattle. Please see Fact Sheet 37 "Consumer Concerns about Hormones in Food".

 

[lulu]

I'm most certainly not offended, and if I were I wouldn't have answered! Joy of forae...you can post or not!

 

[suziquzie]

Thanks lulu and Russell I feel better now....
Still waiting for a sitter.....

 

[DramaQueen]

Never had kids never wanted them. I have friends who had them and wish they didn't, friends who never had any and are happy and friends who have kids and love them to pieces. It is all a matter of choice and fate. We made the choice long ago and have never questioned it, we knew that we would not be good parent material. I will be a good kitty parent, they never ask for the car.
Cin

And you don't have to send them to college.

 

[Russellkhan]

It's not true: FAQ

Not conclusive. A quick Googling shows Monsanto money funding Cornell studies.

 

[JGDean]

I believe you should have the desire to have children not have them just because it is expected. My DHs family has genetics he wouldn't want to chance passing on. I never had the desire. I love my neice and nephew and I got my "child fix" with them. My sis and her husband never wanted them. I'm not sure why - never asked. A woman I work with is lesbian and has a very narrow birth canal. She wanted to be a mother badly. A friend helped her become pregnant and after 2 dangerous pregnancies and C-sections she has a son and daughter. She is an excellent mother and very happy. All of us are different and no one should judge another.

 

[urmaniac13]

There are a few reasons that I never became a mother, and never will be.

- I am too self-centred. I do enjoy hanging out with children (not any and all of them, just the nice ones) on my own terms, but there is no way I can deal with the 24/7/365 commitment and having my own little world turned upside down by a child.

- Generally I do very well with children over 6 or 7 years of age. (again, on my own terms) However I have no idea whatsoever how to interact with babies and toddlers, I even feel rather terrified about that idea.

- I didn't have a good relation with my own mother. As dedicated and well-intended as she was, it went all wrong, she presented herself as an oppressive, intimidating dictator while I was growing up. The impression remains firm and because of this "motherhood" doesn't inspire anything positive or attractive to me.

Many people say I think this way because I haven't experienced it, and it will all change if the baby actually arrives. But I do feel in my gut this is not to be, I just don't have a maternal instinct. Too many people decide to have a baby anyway while they are so totally unprepared or unfit to do so, and things go all downhill with the baby. I think it is a lot more unfortunate and even tragic than a life without your own offspring.

 

[Constance]

Children can fill your heart with incredible joy...and they can rip it to shreds. I love mine more than life itself, but I wouldn't blame anyone for making the decision not to have them, especially in this day and age.

 

[Zooy]

Someday I would love children, but right now I'm 21, just started my career and am engaged. We still have our "omg could I be pregnant" as I'm allergic to latex but am on birth control. I also have PCOS so when we decide to I may have a very difficult time conceiving.
Children are not for everyone, my sister in law does not want children. She works with enough kids at her job and spoils everyone of them whereas my other sister in law wants to be a baby maker which is fine if thats her thing. I think the decision should be up to the individual.

 

[redkitty]

No kids here and don't want them. I like kids I just don't feel the need to have my own. Although I won't go into detail here as to why, its not always the best discussion since everyone has such different opinions.

 

[attie]

Holy cow look at all thses posts!

And some very honest posts by the Ladies, thank you Girls

 

[suziquzie]

I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.

 

[Chicks]

I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.

Oh MY Goodness NO. You have been given a special gift both in having your children and being able to be a wonderful and loving parent. You knew it was right for you and we knew it was not right for us. That is why we have chocolate and vanilla. It takes a special person to be a good understanding parent, I applaud you all.
Cin

 

[expatgirl]

I hate to possibly offend again, but I gotta know.....
Do those of you without children fault or think less of those of us who do have them???
This was the beginning of the reason for asking, but did not want to start off with it.

no, the only time I regret being around parents with kids is when they are being abusive around them..........I can't and won't read child abuse cases... CAN'T...had one here in TX a few months ago that still makes me cry.........stupid, stepfather stayed at home to "train" the 3 year old..........beat her to a pulp,,,,,,,,,I still cry today at this toddler's ordeal and resulting death===that's when I draw the line at people having children that they don't want.....if you have them and can't handle the responsibilities then there are resources out there to help you in placing them within a loving home.............

 

[expatgirl]

Sorry, SQ, went off a bit on a little tangent...........case just came up again in the Houston papers so the pain is fresh again......most people I think believe like most of us that what your decisions are in bringing children into the world are yours and yours alone.........who cares who or whom look down on you......it's your life and what you make of it......be d........d to what they think....... you and your hubby are the ones raising them........and your daughter by her last pic doesn't looks like she's got the world by the tail.......so keep on loving and hugging her and be glad that she's there