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Stacy, I really feel for you. You seem to have had a lot to deal with lately. Is this the same son who may be the father of the baby? If so, then he really needs to grow up in a hurry - if he does turn out to be the father he will need to set a better example. I agree that the military sounds like a good plan. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I would also put a stop payment on the cheques that are unaccounted for as well. It will cost you a fee, but I am sure it will be less than the amount he could have written the cheques for.
 
TG... it's just one blow after another in your life. I'm sorry about your son. I think I'm even more sorry that you can't talk to your husband about it. That's really sad. I can't imagine being married and having children with someone I couldn't talk to or that I was afraid of.
 
:) Tg, sorry to hear yet another problem. Tell your son you could have him put in jail for check fraud and forgery and that it's still an option.. I don't think he would enjoy his stay there. I understand why you would not want to tell DH I'm sure he will go thru the roof then again maybe the kid should go to jail after all he did the crime and is getting away with yet another bad deed done to you. If you tell DH maybe he will call the police and if he did it's because your son committed a crime. If son is doing this to you what else is he doing to other people and some day someone could really hurt him because they wont call the police.
You can be sure if I did that to my mother she would have called the police on me. I can guarantee she would she would not put up with that kind of crap with any of us kids.
 
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:) I just had a thought give your son two options and stick with either he joins the Navy or goes to prison. It may be you will actually need to bring up charges to get him to join the Navy. I had some friends in high school that got in alot of trouble their choice jail or the Navy. They chose the Navy and came out fine upstanding young men.
 
Stacy, I'm so sorry your son has broken your trust. It's like a knife in your back when your own child would do this to you.

Only you know how things are with DH, but perhaps you could consider a different tact. At this point, your son is a man. As a boy, you felt you needed to protect your son from DH and didn't keep him totally informed about situations with your son. Maybe your son is counting on that as an adult now and made a decision he knew was wrong but felt you would protect him anyway. Old patterns of relationships are very hard to break. Your son stole from his father, too, by forging his name. Perhaps if you reacted in a different way that he is counting on, he will get a wake-up call. (Of course, this is free advice and worth every penny you paid for it.:LOL:) Just remember your friends here are behind you through this tough time.
 
It's not callign the cops that I'm afraid of with dh. It's what will come physically and it wouldn't stop at a shove with DH. I've seen what he does on little things. One thing we have always taught them is that stealing is immoral and distgusting besides being illegal. No, I already told him that if he does not go to the navy, he has 2 weeks to practice for the ASVAB, then, I will tell dh and will press charges on him. He is quite ready to go and now even more ready. My oldest is ready to beat the crap out of him. There are other things that have come to light with this mess and I am so numb and disappointed. He watched as I broke down and when he tried to hug me, I threw him away. That and telling him that he digusted and disappointed me more than he has ever done in his life or anyone for that matter, hit him the hardest. The look on his face was enough to keep me going at him. He has been on the computer all day studying the guide we finally got to pull up that the recruiter gave him. he is already almost doubled his scores on the practice tests on the military website. I told him that is what he is going to be doing all weekend if I have to study with him!!
 
I realise that you still might be just a bit lenient with him, otherwise you'd have thrown him out the door, like I would have done!

God bless, and I hope that you are able to seek some restitution from all this.


Nevermind!! I deleted my comment on that one!!
 
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Didn't mean any harm.

I'm sure that you still love your son. He just needs to get some help and I truly hope that he does. And that you and him can rebuild your trust with each other.

I deleted my post as well.
 
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Didn't mean any harm.

I'm sure that you still love your son. He just needs to get some help and I truly hope that he does. And that you and him can rebuild your trust with each other.

I deleted my post as well.


No worries. Stressful time and your words just hit me wrong, that's all. It is taking a lot for me to do what I'm doing without backing down, like I normally do. This time though, that is not going to happen.
 
sorry to hear it, tg, but that sounds like a good plan.

a long time ago, i dropped out of college and was dealing drugs when my dad put me up against a wall and gave me a choice of going into the military, or moving home and getting a job/paying rent/being accountable for every other minute of my time, which he and my mom checked up on constantly.

i wish now i had chosen the military and had saved all of the years that it took me to grow up slowly.



and luvs, nevermind your dad's wisecrack. i'm sure it hurt, but i'm also sure that he didn't mean to hurt you like that. in some backwards way, he may have actually been happy to make a joke about it.
NO ONE HERE wants to see you go back to being sick again. so be strong.

Thanks BT for showing me that my boys have a chance at being a man and a loving person to others as someone that went through similar things.
 
Sorry to hear your situation, Stacy. You are doing the right thing by standing firm. I know it's very hard but, in time, you will know you did the right thing. Buck and I have had to "stand strong" with some of our children. It was beyond difficult, but we did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. No one ever tells you how challenging being a parent can be. Not a 9-to-5 job but, in the end, rewarding.

Hang in there and come here when you need to vent or need a shoulder. There's lots of support and love here to share.
 
:) Hang on TG. Now is the time to do what you say, you will give him no more chances just think back how many times you forgave him and yet he wont learn or get it. If you get him in the Navy it will be the greatest thing you can do and you can be sure the Navy will make sure he get's it. It's easy for a kid to keep messing up with mom but the Navy will straighten his little butt up. Actually it will be one of the safest places for him to be at this point. I really hope you stick to your guns. By the way how old is he? I'm sure DH will notice the tension and figure out something is wrong so maybe son better keep a low profile for now until he is enlisted. You did good by not letting him hug you he needs to know he has screwed up for the last time. .Doe's not mean you dont love him it means you love him so much you will not let him ruin his life.
 
(((Stacy))) My heart aches for you- this position you're in- been there done that- and I'm sorry I don't have any concrete answers for you.Just know as one mom to another.you are not alone and you will survive. Sending you soooo much love and ENERGY, Vicki
 
:) Hang on TG. Now is the time to do what you say, you will give him no more chances just think back how many times you forgave him and yet he wont learn or get it. If you get him in the Navy it will be the greatest thing you can do and you can be sure the Navy will make sure he get's it. It's easy for a kid to keep messing up with mom but the Navy will straighten his little butt up. Actually it will be one of the safest places for him to be at this point. I really hope you stick to your guns. By the way how old is he? I'm sure DH will notice the tension and figure out something is wrong so maybe son better keep a low profile for now until he is enlisted. You did good by not letting him hug you he needs to know he has screwed up for the last time. .Doe's not mean you dont love him it means you love him so much you will not let him ruin his life.

He just turned 21 last week. That is why he needs to just go!!

Thank you all for your shoulders! I hate posting here and it seems I stay here lately, but, it helps to let it go here. Most of the time, one of you have been through something similar and can give adivise!!
 
He just turned 21 last week. That is why he needs to just go!!

Thank you all for your shoulders! I hate posting here and it seems I stay here lately, but, it helps to let it go here. Most of the time, one of you have been through something similar and can give adivise!!
You're so right, Stacy. Every parent has been through tough things with their kids. But when it's happening with yours, you think you are a complete failure and your kid is the most screwed up one in the world. That's why you need to lean hard on your friends here and ya'll will get past this. And for what it's worth, we all know your boy was not raised to steal or lie because we know you!!! Even though it feels like he didn't learn any of the things you have taught him, your lessons are still in there. I promise. And he will learn this lesson and go on to be the man you raised him to be. It's a sure thing - look who his mamma is!:)
 
You're so right, Stacy. Every parent has been through tough things with their kids. But when it's happening with yours, you think you are a complete failure and your kid is the most screwed up one in the world. That's why you need to lean hard on your friends here and ya'll will get past this. And for what it's worth, we all know your boy was not raised to steal or lie because we know you!!! Even though it feels like he didn't learn any of the things you have taught him, your lessons are still in there. I promise. And he will learn this lesson and go on to be the man you raised him to be. It's a sure thing - look who his mamma is!:)

Now look what you've gone and done!:cry:
It won't let me give out reputation, says I gave out too much in the last 24 hours.
you have no idea what that means to me cause, failure is what it feels like!
I feel like maybe if i had let them do more instead of keeping them so dang protected or if I had spent more time with them. Thank you!!
 
:) Stacy, I just want to remind you that most people here are talking as parents but some like me had to get the serious discipline as kids our selves. I was pretty wild when I was younger nothing to serious but neither my mother or father bailed me out ever. If I needed a loan I knew that if I ever wanted another one I best pay up the last one. The loans where never more than $20.00 or so. I have to admit admit every now and then I would go to my mothers house and steal a can or two of tuna and such. I know now if I had just asked she would have given them to me and a lot more. I worked many many years when I was in my 20s and early 30s only to make enough to make the rent and a few other necessities alot of times no groceries to speak of
. Sometimes no more than $20.00 to last the next paycheck. I don't have to tell you it sucked big time but my independence and my own place was more than worth it. It taught me to search for better jobs and to get better at my craft (cooking and baking) it did pay off handsomely eventually. The only reason I went as far as I did was because I just was not going to get a bail out every time I needed it. It's a hard lesson but it did make me an even better person once I realized I had no one but me to get what I wanted.
I dont know if this is helpfull just my 2 cents.:)
 
jp, my oldest son is actually like that. he has always lived day to day, unless he's here, then, he just blows it all. when he's alone, he never blows it. that is what the youngest needs, i know.
 
jp, my oldest son is actually like that. he has always lived day to day, unless he's here, then, he just blows it all. when he's alone, he never blows it. that is what the youngest needs, i know.
Listen up Stacy,
I had one who at 25 you would think he was 15..I paid his bills, he had a job, his mony just seemed to evaporate, people were always calling for payment,,it go worse and worse, dh got him sat him down and he had a choice..he joined the air force..And boy did he learn lifes lessons and fast..Then kid you could tell nothing became a yes sir no sir yes maam no maam, he learned a trade now he has 4 men under him, teaches the new ones about air conditioning and heating, makes very good money, owns his own home a beautiful boat nice truck and is a polite kind youg man,,He was always honest thank heaven but he has at last grown up..It was so hurtful to have to make him chooe, but now we don't worry about him and he even admits that our forcing him to make a choice has turned his life around..Stand firm Stacy, let him know you love him but you do NOT like what he has done..Let him know you will always be there but will NOT accept anymore of this behaviour..He is going to make, just make him get his head on straight..Believe any branch of the service will settle hisbusiness he can hate it all he wants, but tought cookies he has to obey..He can do it..Stiff upper lip mom..hang on

cj
 
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