Old Venting Thread

[jpmcgrew]

Talk about a small world, I will turn 50 in a couple of hours and my DH is 65. I'm always hot and he's always cold. When he complains, I tell him "You can only wish you were as hot as I am!"

Yep. He better learn to appreciate you. I don't think the Dallas Cheer Leaders are coming any time soon to fulfill his fantasies. So if he wants clean underwear and a decent meal and a good women he best be a bit more grateful.

 

[Mama]

Amen to that!

 

[jpmcgrew]

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect is right!

JP, I'm a strong healthy girl too. There's NOTHING wrong with that! We are all beautiful in our own many ways!
I'm 5'11" and weigh 160 pounds. Here's a pic of me:

See? Ya know....pobody's nerfect.
We are all beautiful. It doesn't show on me on the outside, but I know I'm a decent person, and that's all that matters.
Purrs and hugs!

Pook, You are perfect and your pup is the cutest ever. All I know is if I can walk and bend over I'm in good shape plus my walking has made a huge difference. What I don't appreciate is someone in worse shape than me making a critique. Your pup reminds me of Daisy my Boxer mix. She is so cute I have seen her grown up pictures I know she loves more than anything.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Talk about a small world, I will turn 50 in a couple of hours and my DH is 65. I'm always hot and he's always cold. When he complains, I tell him "You can only wish you were as hot as I am!"

By the way I hope you have a really great Birthday.

 

[Mama]

Thank you Jpmcgrew and Pook!

 

[texasgirl]

For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!

 

[LadyCook61]

i hope you smacked him upside his head. tell he had better be nicer to you as u are probably going to be the last thing he sees on earth.

my goodness this make me crazy, how dare he.

babe

No I didn't smack him , just gave him a angry look.

 

[LadyCook61]

Ladycook, how great is the eyesight of a 72 year anyway? Who cares what he thinks? I bet he can't take the beautiful photos that you do.......he sure knows how to push your buttons.....just ignore him.......you're purrrrrrrfect as you are.........

Kind of hard to ignore him when he is ranting and raving , spittle coming out of his mouth. yuck! He does wear glasses. If and when I lose weight , it will be my decision to do it for me... not for him. Besides I am not morbidly obese, but could stand to lose a bit .

 

[LadyCook61]

I'm not obese but I am a strong healthy girl HB once said something like that. But that is not why I like cooler weather I have noticed people much, much bigger than me cry about being cold and the truth is I'm not that big OK a little but yet as strong as an ox. My circulation is great and I love to sleep in a cold room
Next time he mentions your weight tell him. " Shut up and fetch me another piece of pie or I will squash you like bug" Weight has nothing to do with what makes you hot or cold. You are either warm or cold natured. I for one like colder temperatures. Older people tend to feel colder. Dh better not say a thing because he has a gut so he better not call the kettle black. Besides he knows I could take him out if that's what I wanted to . He is fifteen years older than me. I'm 50 and he is 65. We get along great but he knows he better not knock me because I can knock him harder so we just don't do it

I like cooler rooms too, I and do get cold in the winter. I'm 10 yrs younger than he is and has a gut too.

 

[LadyCook61]

For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!

I hear you. I know what you are going thru. I left ex , and took my 2 young sons and went to a shelter for battered wives. Long story but I made it with the help of God.

 

[LadyCook61]

LOL!! Multiply that by five and now you see why people think I'm nuts.
I am!
Venting...why do some smokers insist on putting their cigarettes out on the floor NEXT to the ashtray on the smokers' patio (at work)?
Gaaaahhhhh...
Purrs!

not nuts at all... in the '90's I had 9 indoor cats and 3 dogs!

 

[suziquzie]

jpm you always crack me up when I catch up from weekends!!!
I have this mental pic of a smackdown in your pretty green kitchen....


Stacy I'm so sorry, you have enough crap going on you don't need to be alone when you're home with someone on top of it.
I will rent mine out for free if anyone likes....
hugs to you and LC be strong.

 

[Dina]

For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!

Stacy,
I would not stay another minute. I believe everyone deserves a better life and that we make our own destiny by the choices we make. I will be praying for you for things to be better in YOUR life. DES'REE - YOU GOTTA BE LYRICS

 

[pdswife]

Hugs Stacy....

Leaving is hard... but you can do it.!!!!
You don't deserve the kind of treatment that man gives you!!!!

 

[jpmcgrew]

Stacy, you really need to work on this and get your power back it's your life and you deserve to be happy. That is ENTIRELY TOO MUCH STRESS on a person. Sounds like hubby is a bully. It's your life and you just don't hafto put up with that c**p. Youv'e been brought down so long you forgot how to stand up for your self. I would never ever feel guilty for leaving someone who treats me badly and neither should you. You need to relearn your own value and decide you are worth saving yourself.

 

[LadyCook61]

the man is an idiot. he is sitting in the chair, cell phone in hand, just holding, not talking on it, watched my kitten coughing, after chewing on a slipper, and gets my attention to tell me the kitten is coughing and chewed on my slipper.. hello??? can he get to the kitten?? grrrrrrrrr. I went to the kitten, pried open his mouth, didn't see anything lodged in there. After I checked the kitten, I said to him, leave me alone. he says to me : "you want the kitten to die? What if I didn't tell you he was coughing? " He would not get off his stupid pruney behind and check on the kitten. It really ticks me off.

 

[simplicity]

For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
]

What you are describing is a classic case of abuse. You need help. I am somewhat familiar with women's shelters and, living in the same state as you, may be able to answer some questions or put you in touch with someone who can.

Do not be afraid. People that work with shelters are very discreet.

PM me if you have questions. In the meantime I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[LPBeier]

TG, I was previously married to the poster-child of abusive husbands. Before we were married I would say to my abused friends "if my husband ever did that to me I would be gone in less than 60 seconds." Well, it did happen to me and it took me 5 years to leave and another 3 to realize he wouldn't change and I finalized the divorce.

I am going to PM you some information that helped me later today. I know that things are different in Canada and the US, but I think some of my hindsight should help you realize that you CAN make a clean break.

In the meantime, know that it is not about anything you have or have not done.

LC, I feel for you as well. You don't need to be treated like that after all these years (I don't know if this has been a pattern in your entire marriage).

My prayers are with both of you.

 

[texasgirl]

Ok, it was 5 am when I said this and I did not make it clear. The abuse has long past. This is what I have put up with for 23 years total. The abuse stopped about 5 years ago when I started fighting back,lol.
What I'm tired of is the fact that I'm fixing to be 40 and I have NO LIFE!!!! I go to work, go home, cook dinner, blend his food, clean, wash a load of clothes, go to bed. That is my daily routine and I'm SICK OF IT ALL!!! All I hear is how bad HE is. When I even THINK about telling him about my day or how I feel, he breaks in with what is so much worse with him. I'm sorry that I didn't make myself clear and that I scared anyone with my words. I only meant that I am tired of living THIS kind of life, none. Don't worry, not gonna do anything stupid and I have dealt with all the crap this long, it just doesn't matter anymore, it won't change. Just really needed to vent this morning for some reason. Guess it's been sitting there dormant long enough. LOL thank you all!! and the 2 that pm'ed me, I'm ok, I promise.

 

[LPBeier]

Stacy, I understand exactly what you are going through and am still going to PM you.

But I need to vent at the moment.

I hurt. I am in pain. I can't get any sleep or rest - lying on the bed, even an air matress is like torture. I hate to complain and feel like a wimp because I have dealt with chronic back pain but this is worse. This all over and gets worse when I move. I have trouble showering, dressing, working in the kitchen, practically doing anything.

DH really tries to understand, but he admittedly has never had to deal with much pain at all in his life. He keeps asking me every few minutes how I am feeling as if it is going to change. I sometimes snap at him and it is the pain, not me, but it doesn't make it any better. I am tired of taking pills - the ones the doctors prescribe that don't do anything and all the natural ones that DH reads about and buys because he is positive they will cure me....immediately.

I am so tired of being sent from one doctor to another and being told to "suck it up" until I am old enough for a joint replacement (I will be 50 this year but the general consensus in the medical field seems to be that a replaced joint lasts 15 years and I should live to 80 so they will have to do it twice).

The arthritis is spreading. They only want to acknowledge the knee for the time being even though I keep telling them it is all over - my knees, shoulders and hips are the worst. But now it is travelling into my hands, specially my left. I am finding even this typing difficult but I have to vent somehow. I am even having problems making the roses for a cake due the beginning of August and I have a lot of them to make. DD has helped me in the past but she has enough going on with her fiance still in the hospital and besides I wouldn't make her work on this one anyway because she and the groom have "history".

Like you, Stacy, I have just had enough and need a place where I can let it all out. I am on the edge, yet I have so many others to be strong for. How come I can do it for them, and not myself?