"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 04-07-2007, 02:01 AM   #1361
Head Chef
 
callie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,709
thanks, kades! I know it doesn't just happen to me...i feel much better venting here - and knowing you listened.
__________________

__________________
Practice random acts of kindness.

callie is offline  
Old 04-08-2007, 12:59 AM   #1362
Senior Cook
 
CherryRed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 290
Send a message via AIM to CherryRed
I'm usually not one to spill my heart out to the first person who'll listen, but tonight I'm taking full advantage of this venting thread.

My boyfriend and I went to a car show in New York. He was trying to get a picture of one of the exhibits at one point but couldn't get a clear shot because so many people kept walking in front of it. He finally gave up and jokingly said to me, "At least I got a good one of those hot models." I flipped. Why? I have no idea. And that's precisely why I'm upset.

Usually I just roll my eyes at things like this. I'm able to acknowledge that there are women more attractive than I am, and that it's totally natural for my boyfriend to be attracted to them. He doesn't make these comments too often and he's never given me reason to think he would be unfaithful.

Today, however, I felt personally attacked. It felt like he was saying "Well they'll never notice me, but you're a decent consolation prize." Anyway, long story short, we left the show early and talked it out. I explained that I don't expect him to shut off his attraction to good looking women, but that it might not be the best thing to share with me. I told him that although I'm still physically attracted to other men, I don't feel the need to point it out and make him feel inadequate. He understood, told me he only meant it as a joke, and reassured me that I was more than just some shabby second-best.

That's all resolved, but I'm still frustrated with myself. I wish I knew why I reacted the way I did, or why I'm so hard on myself, or whether I'll ever be good enough for my own standards. Aaarrrgh!!!

(Sorry if I sound like a lunatic. I sure do feel like one though. )
__________________

__________________
<3 Cherry
CherryRed is offline  
Old 04-08-2007, 02:33 AM   #1363
Chef Extraordinaire
 
kadesma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: california
Posts: 21,373
Cherryred,
How long were you supposed to sit still for those remarks? Once would have been enough for me and I'd have quietly said, you hurt my feeling and since I don't say things like that to you, I'd appreciate the same consideration..
You know many times we take things and take them then one day it just is too much. You've had a hard week, you don't feel as good as you should, your hair didn't go the way you wanted, you feel tired and you still have a ton of things you should be doing..Then you hear "THE" remark!! Well, you blow your top...It's over and done..Feel good that you were open and brave enough to speak up.. instead of pouting and sulking,That counts for a lot..Do not be down on your self. We all have to learn to let little things slide, but the ones to us that are BIG, speak up and don't be ashamed..We don't have to yell and shout, but we have to take care of us and do it well before we can take care of others..You will be fine. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself, hey pretty girl, you ROCK!!!
kadesma
__________________
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
kadesma is offline  
Old 04-08-2007, 09:38 AM   #1364
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Katie H's Avatar
Site Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: I live in the Heartland of the United States - Western Kentucky
Posts: 15,156
Well, CR, if you are puzzled why you reacted the way you did, perhaps you can think about how you were feeling about yourself at that time. Also, you mentioned sounding like a "lunatic" in your post. No, you didn't. But it made me think of the word and that is comes from "moon," which made me think of the tides, which, in turn, of cycles. You get where I'm going with this line of thought? Sometimes we are more sensitive to things when we are having our period. Was that the case? Just trying to sleuth out some possible causes for why you "popped."

The good thing, though, is that you two worked it out. I notice your age, so if you can learn this relationship skill early, you are well on your way to sustaining a good, healthy long-lasting relationship. Good for you.
__________________
"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
Katie H is offline  
Old 04-08-2007, 09:39 AM   #1365
Executive Chef
 
Michelemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Suburb of Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,614
Send a message via Yahoo to Michelemarie
Ditto what Kadesma said (she is always right!). Today is a new day Cherry, forget yesterday and enjoy today! Smile sweetie!
__________________
Michele Marie
Michelemarie is offline  
Old 04-08-2007, 08:40 PM   #1366
Senior Cook
 
CherryRed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 290
Send a message via AIM to CherryRed
Thanks, all of you. I think I mostly needed to sleep it off because I felt tons better when I woke up this morning. All of your kind words definitely helped too.
__________________
<3 Cherry
CherryRed is offline  
Old 04-17-2007, 03:27 PM   #1367
Master Chef
 
crewsk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Columbia, SouthCarolina
Posts: 9,368
Send a message via MSN to crewsk
Can I scream yet? Hubby had Savannah in the ER Sunday night. She couldn't turn her right hand over & was complaining of her forearm hurting, but she wasn't in severe pain. Turns out that her humorous (sp) is fractured. She has a cast from her armpit to her wrist & has to wear it at least 2 weeks. It'll be reex-rayed at that time. We have no clue how she did it, that's what's so frustrating. On top of that, TC has to have part of his right big toenail removed tomorrow due to it becoming ingrown & infected. I'm exhausted beyond belief right now! Thankfully hubby has been helping out a lot, I couldn't ask for a better man. Anyway, I'm wearing out fast between working & taking care of a family that seems to be getiing hurt or sick every time I turn around.
__________________
"Treat everyone with politeness,even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are."
crewsk is offline  
Old 04-17-2007, 04:28 PM   #1368
Sous Chef
 
csalt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 909

This is for you to help you feel better.
__________________
csalt is offline  
Old 04-17-2007, 05:26 PM   #1369
Master Chef
 
crewsk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Columbia, SouthCarolina
Posts: 9,368
Send a message via MSN to crewsk
Thanks csalt!! I can tell you right now, the first thing I'm doing as soon as hubby finds a job is going to get a really long massage!!
__________________
"Treat everyone with politeness,even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are."
crewsk is offline  
Old 04-17-2007, 06:04 PM   #1370
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: upper midwest
Posts: 5,171
Gosh, you and your family sure have been through a lot lately. I sure hope and pray that things will get better real soon. JoAnn
__________________

__________________
Don't let yesterday take up too much of today. Will
Rogers
JoAnn L. is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:12 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.