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Old 05-05-2007, 04:07 PM   #1451
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Luvs, I hate the ma'am thing too. Was the person from Texas? The reason why I ask is that my husband is from San Antonio and when his PARENTS come to visit they ma'am and sir everyone to death. I mean, in a restaurant, they will talk to a waitress, 30 years their younger: What would you like to drink? Tea ma'am. Iced Tea? Yes ma'am. What you would you like to drink? We'll ma'am, I think I would like the fried chicken ma'am - then we go through soup or salad and salad dressing and potato by the time they are done ordering we are up to 20 ma'ams! It drives me bonkers ! I have tried to tell my husband and his mom that not everyone (especially if you are NOT from TX) likes to be called ma'am - it's like talking to a wall - whatever. I feel your frustration - from one ma'am to another!
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Old 05-06-2007, 05:13 AM   #1452
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MicheleMarie & Luvs,

As a bloke, I feel we are caught in the old Catch 22. Ya Ma'am'd if you do and yer ma'am'd if yer don't.

Here in Oz I use Ma'am out of repect for a lady (regardless of age)I do not know. Why?

Well, if I use Miss, she'll say "I'm a Mrs or Ms." So I just use Ma'am to save time, up until I am advised of what she would prefer to be called.

So, until they call you something disgusting, relax and feel chuffed that people are respecting you. After the first Ma'am you can say, "Please, call me Luv's. " :-)

But I get concerned if anyone calls me Mister or Ian, because those are what I was called if I was in trouble..........

In Oz we use Maaaaaaaaaaate. "This is my mate mate, mate." Everybody is named Mate. It helps when you're p*ssed, you don't have to remember names. lol
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Old 05-06-2007, 09:00 AM   #1453
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Thanks for the nice explanation Brooksy. I guess in the restaurant case, they are not addressing anyone - if someone asks if you want this or that my response would be "yes please" instead of "yes ma'am" or miss or mrs. or anything like that. They just overkill on ma'am and it gets annoying and embarrassing. In one order ma'am is said 5-7 times - per person! I do know what you are saying about being addressed as ma'am in the sense of someone not knowing who or what I am, like "ma'am, you forgot your receipt" - that totally doesn't bother me. Thanks Brooksy - er, Mate! I love that!
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Old 05-06-2007, 01:07 PM   #1454
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i concur, thanks.
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Old 05-06-2007, 08:31 PM   #1455
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelemarie
Luvs, I hate the ma'am thing too. Was the person from Texas? The reason why I ask is that my husband is from San Antonio and when his PARENTS come to visit they ma'am and sir everyone to death. I mean, in a restaurant, they will talk to a waitress, 30 years their younger: What would you like to drink? Tea ma'am. Iced Tea? Yes ma'am. What you would you like to drink? We'll ma'am, I think I would like the fried chicken ma'am - then we go through soup or salad and salad dressing and potato by the time they are done ordering we are up to 20 ma'ams! It drives me bonkers ! I have tried to tell my husband and his mom that not everyone (especially if you are NOT from TX) likes to be called ma'am - it's like talking to a wall - whatever. I feel your frustration - from one ma'am to another!
This is only the 3rd time that I have felt seriously offended!!! Because she said ma'am, she was from Texas. She probably was and good for her!!!!!
For anyone's information. We TEXANS are taught to say sir and ma'am as a sign of respect no matter the persons age! If you have a problem with that, I suggest staying out of Texas. So sorry that we seem to have a problem with respect and being overly nice
I do believe that this will be my last post on DC. I just can't believe that some you of all people, would be so hurtful as this.
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Old 05-06-2007, 08:35 PM   #1456
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texasgirl, I have to jump in, too. Here in my part of the south, addressing a female as "ma'am" is expected as a matter of respect no matter what age.

I was taught as a child to ALWAYS say "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am" to whomever I was talking to. I do it to this day.
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Old 05-07-2007, 04:41 AM   #1457
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No harm was meant by the person saying "Ma'am" or "Sir". I certainly don't understand why one would feel offended by that. All service people walk a very fine line on what to say to their customers without someone being offended, unnecessrily. I don't like to hear someone refer to us as "you guys", but understand that is said in some places with no ill intent. Some things we just need to grow up and get over. There are much bigger things to be concerned about in this world.
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Old 05-07-2007, 05:01 AM   #1458
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I actually LIKE the respect shown to people in the Southern states. I wish it were more universal!

Ma'am, coming from Madame, is a sign of respect. Its not age related, ntil recently when we got so youth obcessed, I remember my ister at just over 20 in France craving to command the word Madame instead of mademoiselle.

I'm really casual about it, and would take the advice to say, "Oh please call me.....". That said, I use Sir and Madam in UK. I have found it an insecurity in men who feel me using the term "Sir"is somewhat fuedal. I don't find it so at all, its easy to remember and can offer respect, or, indeed, a sincere lack of it ;) I am comfortable calling people Sir and Madam, am called Miss, Madam and the world alternatives, all are fine by me. I never correct when people call me Mrs and my surname, to demand my Italian right to Dotteressa, it doesn't change anything about the coffee they are bringing me! Texasgirl please don't be too upset or stop posting.
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Old 05-07-2007, 05:16 AM   #1459
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TexasGirl, please don't stop posting!!!!
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Old 05-07-2007, 06:53 AM   #1460
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Originally Posted by redkitty
TexasGirl, please don't stop posting!!!!
I heartily endorse Red Kitty's sentiment. I truly believe the hurt was unintended. Please stay.
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