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Old 03-19-2008, 08:34 PM   #1951
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Check this out, Stacy. You come home one afternoon and enter your home. In the living room, sitting on the sofa, is your youngest child (a son here) with a gentleman you've never seen before. You acknowledge your son. He responds and introduces the man sitting next to him. Innocent enough, yes?

That's what I came home to about 16 years ago. My son's words were, "Hi, Mom. This is "xxx," he's my recruiter. I've joined the navy."

Whoa! You could've knocked me over with a feather. I was, at once, horrified and proud. Mostly horrified. In time, I accepted his decision. It did take a while to get over the shock.

The best think I can recommend is that you support your son in his decision - whether you agree with it or not - he's probably a bit fearful of what's ahead, although he'll never let you know that.

Oh, BTW, his older brother was a marine during Desert Storm. You want nerves?

Been there. Done that. Hang on. There are positives to the entire experience.
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Old 03-19-2008, 08:56 PM   #1952
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Check this out, Stacy. You come home one afternoon and enter your home. In the living room, sitting on the sofa, is your youngest child (a son here) with a gentleman you've never seen before. You acknowledge your son. He responds and introduces the man sitting next to him. Innocent enough, yes?

That's what I came home to about 16 years ago. My son's words were, "Hi, Mom. This is "xxx," he's my recruiter. I've joined the navy."

Whoa! You could've knocked me over with a feather. I was, at once, horrified and proud. Mostly horrified. In time, I accepted his decision. It did take a while to get over the shock.

The best think I can recommend is that you support your son in his decision - whether you agree with it or not - he's probably a bit fearful of what's ahead, although he'll never let you know that.

Oh, BTW, his older brother was a marine during Desert Storm. You want nerves?

Been there. Done that. Hang on. There are positives to the entire experience.
I know what you're saying is true, but, I just don't want this. I don't think he is doing it for the right reasons. He is tired of not having a job and being stressed out about his truck being repo'd and having to move back home. I just don't want him to do this, for these reasons. I don't know how different I would feel if he said, you know, I want to go so that I can help get rid of the terrorists or something like that, but, it would at least show that he REALLY knows what he is getting into.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:07 PM   #1953
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I know what you're saying is true, but, I just don't want this. I don't think he is doing it for the right reasons. He is tired of not having a job and being stressed out about his truck being repo'd and having to move back home. I just don't want him to do this, for these reasons. I don't know how different I would feel if he said, you know, I want to go so that I can help get rid of the terrorists or something like that, but, it would at least show that he REALLY knows what he is getting into.
I understand what you're saying, Stacy. His older brother was a different story. He bucked any kind of discipline. Even fought with his high school teachers. We weren't even sure if he would graduate from high school. Fortunately he did.

We were stunned when he enlisted in the marines...the hardest service. For someone who disliked discipline, we thought he was going to face a rude awakening. He made it through boot camp in South Carolina in August. Can you say hot and miserable?

At any rate, he discovered a lot about the "real" world and himself and came out a grown-up and more responsible young man.

As for our young navy enlistee, he served well and did us and his country proud.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:10 PM   #1954
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Stacy, this is a mother's worst nightmare when it first happens. I haven't been through it but when the boys even talk about it in passing, I get sick to my stomach. It happened to one of my friends in the same way it happened to Katie E - by the time he told her, it was a done deal so really, they just had to accept it. Perhaps part of your panic is that he hasn't actually signed the papers yet so you brain is screaming at you to find a way to stop him. Mine would be, too. I have no advice or words of wisdom for you except to echo what Katie said - if he does this you must try to accept it and be supportive. And lean on your friends (you have many here) to help you handle it.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:10 PM   #1955
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I'm sorry, but, I will pray every night until then that he gets a job. IF he does go, I will love him and back him, but, I will be uncontrollable, I 'm afraid.
He was going to do this before, when he didn't think he would graduate and they were going to get him a GED, but, he did graduate and started working and let it go. He has said things about it since then, but, mainly in passing.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:14 PM   #1956
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As a completely objective view, it sounds like he's trying to put some direction in his life. That can only be a good thing.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:17 PM   #1957
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As a completely objective view, it sounds like he's trying to put some direction in his life. That can only be a good thing.
Very good point, pacanis. That's what our marine son was doing and didn't realize it at the time. Just thought he was being a big, bad macho dude. He's going to be 38 this August and is glad he did what he did, even though he hated it at times.
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:35 PM   #1958
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I agree with Pacanis as well. Your son seems to be taking control of his life and seeking a new direction. I agree with you that his decision would have been a better one if he wanted to join for the cause rather than for a job and benefits, however those two are good things, but the risk now a days is high. Military does give good pensions I think, but again, we're at war now, and who knows for how long, so I hope he understands that he will have very little training, and then be sent off somewhere.
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Old 03-20-2008, 06:01 AM   #1959
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I also agree with Pacanis Stacy. Would hate to have a loved one go on active duty in any form of defence but as he has been toying with the idea for a while, it sounds like he may have given it more serious thought than you credit him with. Maybe he is down playing his interest so as not to put you offside. Boys his age can be embarrassed by making a commitment to something and may be seeking his parents support. Stop imagining the worst possible scenario, it won't help any of you and will just make you a nervous wreck. He may also be very good at whatever role they give him. Tell him how you feel but also tell him that you will support him in his decision. See what comes of that. Don't forget that there are many roles within the armed forces that don't aren't put at the front line even during times of war. He may be one of those people. Try and be strong and we will try and support you as much as we can from afar.
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Old 03-20-2008, 12:24 PM   #1960
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I can feel your pain. As a mother you tend to envision the worst possible scenario that could happen to your child in any situation. At least I do. Just pray hard for that boy! I dread the day when my son is old enough to make his own choices! But I look forward to it too. You may see him turn out to be a real hero and make something wonderful of himself.
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