"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 04-24-2008, 09:21 PM   #2231
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pdswife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 20,316
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
Please feel better soon!!!!
__________________

__________________
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
pdswife is offline  
Old 04-24-2008, 09:32 PM   #2232
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 3,619
Quote:
Originally Posted by jpmcgrew View Post
It doesn't just happen to kids it just happened to me at 50 years old. A couple of years ago the ranch hired a new head of maintenance and of course there were people here at the ranch that were just hateful to him and his wife including my good neighbor but DH and I don't hate someone just because some other people do. Any way we became good friends and my neighbor decided I was not worth her time because of it but I don't care to hate for no reason. Dh and I were their only friends for the longest time and I thought we were pretty tight. About 2 months ago the wife decided not to deal with us anymore she has lost a lot of weight so I don't know if that's it or if I did something to piss her off. But it just seemed like they came over less and less and don't invite us over anymore they are still friendly but when I asked her why they do not come over anymore she said that they were just to busy.I did notice she became really friendly actually they are really tight with another couple that live just across from them . I'm so confused since DH and I stuck with them so long and now they can't seem to be bothered with us anymore. I have never ever made a new friend and then decide my current friend would be out of the picture in my mind the more friends the better. I know it sounds so high school but my feelings were really hurt. I know I should confront her but just have not wanted to as of yet.
This happened to me a year ago, too, and it still hurts today. The wife was one of my best friends for over 9 years and the kids were my kids' best friends all that time. We did so many things together with the kids and our husbands were friendly, too. They even lived here in my guest house for a year while they were paying off medical debt. They are great people - really good parents and they work very hard in their jobs. I don't know what happened - no argument or disagreement. Just no further contact. What hurts the most is that I really miss the kids - I love them like they were a niece and nephew. My kids "chat" online with them and play games online with them but the kids are never allowed to get together.
__________________

__________________
Fisher's Mom is offline  
Old 04-24-2008, 09:43 PM   #2233
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Raton,NM, USA
Posts: 4,573
Quote:
Originally Posted by kadesma View Post
Of course you're hurt and a tad angry..You're wondering what YOU did..Nothing, you were just to nice and people tend to take advantage of it...Sit back and remember all you did, then pat yourself of the back and say nuts, I'm not going to let me get so upset I'll do something silly..Just be YOU and if you have to say something..Then just let her know you're sorry she has chosen to walk away and that your door is open, but you are not the doormat..Then I'd turn away and just let myself find something I love doing and had put aside to do things with them, and begin doing what makes me happy..Do not let an ingrate make you unhappy..They are not worth it.You gave, they took..Chances are they take from all but never give back..Their loss.
kadesma
Thank You, Kades I don't even try to itemize all I did for them, another friend on the ranch said that you would think they would want all the friends they could get here. I have absorbed back into my crafts and such but now it's hard to put myself out there for someone again. People that really know me always say I have a heart of gold but it seems the the ones I really go out on the line for just don't appreciate it. As the saying gos "No good deed gos unpunished. Dh is is as mystified as I am but we are not the type to push the issue. Then again maybe there is just a great misunderstanding but if that is the case I would think they would have said something.
__________________
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
jpmcgrew is offline  
Old 04-24-2008, 09:55 PM   #2234
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Raton,NM, USA
Posts: 4,573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fisher's Mom View Post
This happened to me a year ago, too, and it still hurts today. The wife was one of my best friends for over 9 years and the kids were my kids' best friends all that time. We did so many things together with the kids and our husbands were friendly, too. They even lived here in my guest house for a year while they were paying off medical debt. They are great people - really good parents and they work very hard in their jobs. I don't know what happened - no argument or disagreement. Just no further contact. What hurts the most is that I really miss the kids - I love them like they were a niece and nephew. My kids "chat" online with them and play games online with them but the kids are never allowed to get together.
One would think at our age these things don't happen it's so high school. You would think that when you are so committed to a friendship it would continue but alas not so. It's something I will never understand. I for one will continue to do nice things for people as it's my nature I don't expect anything back but when you invest so much of your heart in certain people it can be really hard to understand why they did what they did. Makes absolutely no sense.
__________________
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
jpmcgrew is offline  
Old 04-24-2008, 11:05 PM   #2235
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 3,619
Yeah, it makes no sense to me either, JP, but it sure hurts.
__________________
Fisher's Mom is offline  
Old 04-25-2008, 08:27 AM   #2236
Master Chef
 
expatgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas girl living in Kazakhstan
Posts: 5,575
I have a vent about people being insensitive and not caring either. For the past 6 months on and off I've been attempting to learn how to play bridge with 4-6 other "newbies". It's not an easy game and we have to refer to notes--bidding is the hardest thing to do. We have a good time, clap when our opponents win, cheer each other on and don't keep score. For some time we had heard about this Greta who woud be joining us soon and how she was such an experienced player but that she was very serious about the game. Ok, so today she comes. Long story short, after the game where we were down by 2 against her and her partner she announces to everyone that I was a bad player. I was shocked and so was everyone else. Usually easy-going I shot back that that was not a very nice thing to say esp. since we were all inexperienced players. I might be inexperienced but I was NOT a bad player and I would NEVER say that to somebody. She said that you shouldn't play all your high cards first and that you should wait. Well, that's exactly what all of us had been doing for the past 6 months. I replied well you could have said that without calling me a "bad player". We all do it and everyone nodded and agreed. Did she apologize? Nope.............Well, I had my revenge. Because the next round she and her partner won the bid and at the end of the game we had them down by "3" (as I was going after her with a vengeance) whereas when we won the bid they had us down by 2. Let's see--------if I go by her logic then she must have been a worse player than myself and if I had been a rude, insensitive boor I would have teased her about it. But as difficult as it was I kept silent but smiling. So was everyone of the newbies. She shut the **** up and there was no more name calling the rest of the morning. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I'm still in shock, though, over the insensitivity of the comment.
__________________
The only difference between a "cook" and a "Chef" is who cleans up the kitchen.
expatgirl is offline  
Old 04-25-2008, 08:34 AM   #2237
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 3,270
when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum. The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings. People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did. Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason. give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.
__________________
Too many restaurants, not enough time...
Bilby is offline  
Old 04-25-2008, 08:34 AM   #2238
Chef Extraordinaire
 
suziquzie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 11,488
Send a message via AIM to suziquzie
Hopefully she wont be invited back?
I get really upset about stuff like that... makes me not even want to go anywhere sometimes just cuz i cant stand rude snotty people, which seem to be a dime a dozen these days.
__________________
Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
suziquzie is offline  
Old 04-25-2008, 08:39 AM   #2239
Master Chef
 
expatgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas girl living in Kazakhstan
Posts: 5,575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fisher's Mom View Post
You too????? I knew everything about being a perfect parent until I became one.
I cringe at how I thought I could do a better job------oh, my......now it's so much fun to watch my son try and handle my granddaughter!
__________________
The only difference between a "cook" and a "Chef" is who cleans up the kitchen.
expatgirl is offline  
Old 04-25-2008, 08:48 AM   #2240
Master Chef
 
expatgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas girl living in Kazakhstan
Posts: 5,575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilby View Post
when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum. The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings. People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did. Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason. give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.
That's sad, Bilby---people are funny as you say. I've only dropped two friends in the last couple of years-------one for being so pathologically stingy even though she's rolling in $$$ (and we're talking several million) (the story of how she treated her father's stepchildren who had nothing-- and tried to sell me their mother's modest ring instead of giving it back to them for a keepsake--the other was brewing for a long time. I hope that things will get back to normal for her.
__________________

__________________
The only difference between a "cook" and a "Chef" is who cleans up the kitchen.
expatgirl is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.