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Old 05-30-2008, 07:23 PM   #2511
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Sorry to hear your situation, Stacy. You are doing the right thing by standing firm. I know it's very hard but, in time, you will know you did the right thing. Buck and I have had to "stand strong" with some of our children. It was beyond difficult, but we did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. No one ever tells you how challenging being a parent can be. Not a 9-to-5 job but, in the end, rewarding.

Hang in there and come here when you need to vent or need a shoulder. There's lots of support and love here to share.
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Old 05-30-2008, 07:44 PM   #2512
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Hang on TG. Now is the time to do what you say, you will give him no more chances just think back how many times you forgave him and yet he wont learn or get it. If you get him in the Navy it will be the greatest thing you can do and you can be sure the Navy will make sure he get's it. It's easy for a kid to keep messing up with mom but the Navy will straighten his little butt up. Actually it will be one of the safest places for him to be at this point. I really hope you stick to your guns. By the way how old is he? I'm sure DH will notice the tension and figure out something is wrong so maybe son better keep a low profile for now until he is enlisted. You did good by not letting him hug you he needs to know he has screwed up for the last time. .Doe's not mean you dont love him it means you love him so much you will not let him ruin his life.
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:04 PM   #2513
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(((Stacy))) My heart aches for you- this position you're in- been there done that- and I'm sorry I don't have any concrete answers for you.Just know as one mom to another.you are not alone and you will survive. Sending you soooo much love and ENERGY, Vicki
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:11 PM   #2514
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Hang on TG. Now is the time to do what you say, you will give him no more chances just think back how many times you forgave him and yet he wont learn or get it. If you get him in the Navy it will be the greatest thing you can do and you can be sure the Navy will make sure he get's it. It's easy for a kid to keep messing up with mom but the Navy will straighten his little butt up. Actually it will be one of the safest places for him to be at this point. I really hope you stick to your guns. By the way how old is he? I'm sure DH will notice the tension and figure out something is wrong so maybe son better keep a low profile for now until he is enlisted. You did good by not letting him hug you he needs to know he has screwed up for the last time. .Doe's not mean you dont love him it means you love him so much you will not let him ruin his life.
He just turned 21 last week. That is why he needs to just go!!

Thank you all for your shoulders! I hate posting here and it seems I stay here lately, but, it helps to let it go here. Most of the time, one of you have been through something similar and can give adivise!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:36 PM   #2515
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He just turned 21 last week. That is why he needs to just go!!

Thank you all for your shoulders! I hate posting here and it seems I stay here lately, but, it helps to let it go here. Most of the time, one of you have been through something similar and can give adivise!!
You're so right, Stacy. Every parent has been through tough things with their kids. But when it's happening with yours, you think you are a complete failure and your kid is the most screwed up one in the world. That's why you need to lean hard on your friends here and ya'll will get past this. And for what it's worth, we all know your boy was not raised to steal or lie because we know you!!! Even though it feels like he didn't learn any of the things you have taught him, your lessons are still in there. I promise. And he will learn this lesson and go on to be the man you raised him to be. It's a sure thing - look who his mamma is!
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:56 PM   #2516
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You're so right, Stacy. Every parent has been through tough things with their kids. But when it's happening with yours, you think you are a complete failure and your kid is the most screwed up one in the world. That's why you need to lean hard on your friends here and ya'll will get past this. And for what it's worth, we all know your boy was not raised to steal or lie because we know you!!! Even though it feels like he didn't learn any of the things you have taught him, your lessons are still in there. I promise. And he will learn this lesson and go on to be the man you raised him to be. It's a sure thing - look who his mamma is!
Now look what you've gone and done!
It won't let me give out reputation, says I gave out too much in the last 24 hours.
you have no idea what that means to me cause, failure is what it feels like!
I feel like maybe if i had let them do more instead of keeping them so dang protected or if I had spent more time with them. Thank you!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 09:41 PM   #2517
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Stacy, I just want to remind you that most people here are talking as parents but some like me had to get the serious discipline as kids our selves. I was pretty wild when I was younger nothing to serious but neither my mother or father bailed me out ever. If I needed a loan I knew that if I ever wanted another one I best pay up the last one. The loans where never more than $20.00 or so. I have to admit admit every now and then I would go to my mothers house and steal a can or two of tuna and such. I know now if I had just asked she would have given them to me and a lot more. I worked many many years when I was in my 20s and early 30s only to make enough to make the rent and a few other necessities alot of times no groceries to speak of
. Sometimes no more than $20.00 to last the next paycheck. I don't have to tell you it sucked big time but my independence and my own place was more than worth it. It taught me to search for better jobs and to get better at my craft (cooking and baking) it did pay off handsomely eventually. The only reason I went as far as I did was because I just was not going to get a bail out every time I needed it. It's a hard lesson but it did make me an even better person once I realized I had no one but me to get what I wanted.
I dont know if this is helpfull just my 2 cents.
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Old 05-30-2008, 09:51 PM   #2518
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jp, my oldest son is actually like that. he has always lived day to day, unless he's here, then, he just blows it all. when he's alone, he never blows it. that is what the youngest needs, i know.
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Old 05-30-2008, 10:48 PM   #2519
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thanks, bucky.
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Old 05-31-2008, 12:48 AM   #2520
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jp, my oldest son is actually like that. he has always lived day to day, unless he's here, then, he just blows it all. when he's alone, he never blows it. that is what the youngest needs, i know.
Listen up Stacy,
I had one who at 25 you would think he was 15..I paid his bills, he had a job, his mony just seemed to evaporate, people were always calling for payment,,it go worse and worse, dh got him sat him down and he had a choice..he joined the air force..And boy did he learn lifes lessons and fast..Then kid you could tell nothing became a yes sir no sir yes maam no maam, he learned a trade now he has 4 men under him, teaches the new ones about air conditioning and heating, makes very good money, owns his own home a beautiful boat nice truck and is a polite kind youg man,,He was always honest thank heaven but he has at last grown up..It was so hurtful to have to make him chooe, but now we don't worry about him and he even admits that our forcing him to make a choice has turned his life around..Stand firm Stacy, let him know you love him but you do NOT like what he has done..Let him know you will always be there but will NOT accept anymore of this behaviour..He is going to make, just make him get his head on straight..Believe any branch of the service will settle hisbusiness he can hate it all he wants, but tought cookies he has to obey..He can do it..Stiff upper lip mom..hang on

cj
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