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Old 06-06-2008, 09:08 PM   #2601
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I am the same way, I have 4 laptops here, all PC's. Don't own a MAC either, but they are good machines. I like to promote them in hopes their sales stay up enough to give MS a reason to do better, but not so high they get the attention of malware writers!
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Old 06-07-2008, 01:25 AM   #2602
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Awww Mav, I wish I could come and help you, too, with your home and appliance repairs. It really seems like "When it rains, it pours."

As far as the bad exchange with your DW, I'm really sorry. Of course, no one can know how things are as well as you and she, but hang in there my friend. It was a very hurtful thing for her to say to you and I know it really stung. The only thing I can say is that when times are stressful, it doesn't always bring out the best in us. Ya'll have been dealing with major health issues, serious house repairs, strained finances and a houseful of young children. It's got to be so hard for the both of you and maybe your wife hasn't been able to get a handle on it very well. That's not an excuse, just a thought on why she might have said something that hurtful. Is that normally in her character? If not, maybe this will have to be one of those times that you have to forgive and try to forget.

In any event, you are a vital member of the DC community and when things get tough, turn to your friends here to help lift you up. We're here for you.

Terry
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Old 06-07-2008, 08:24 AM   #2603
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Wow, Mav, I'm sorry. Verbal abuse is rough. Been there, done that. It does not hurt a man any less than a woman either!! Shame on her for saying something so horrible. Stress or no, you just don't say things like that. Seriously, I think that goes a little deeper. You should really think about seeing a couselor. They really help!!
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Old 06-07-2008, 12:03 PM   #2604
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Mav, I can't say enough how sorry I am. I really know what you are going through on all levels.

My pain is full blast all over my body, my leg is the worst it has been and my energy levels are at an all time low. Plus, I honestly do not know what a full night's sleep is like anymore.

Just over a week ago, as we were getting ready to lose our border, he told us he knew someone from his school looking for a place right away. I was actually looking forward to the summer off to recuperate, specially since I may be looking at knee surgery. But DH was livid, saying that we needed the money because of the catering jobs I have been turning down.

He two, like your DW, is having to put up with more, and help out around the house more, while his job is taking more of his time as well. He never said anything like your DW (and know that it was the frustration talking), but he did destroy a very solid wooden gate that keeps the dogs out of the kitchen for me with two kicks because I hadn't cleaned the kitchen or done any other work the day the new border came for an interview (and mentioned that I really didn't think I could handle someone new at the moment).

Our health conditions our different, and I know it is harder on you because you are the "man of the house", but please know that I do totally understand and relate.

Our DD is moving back in today and in exchange for having a place to stay while she and her BF get well and back on their feet financially, they plan to help me with the day to day upkeep of the house and DD has agreed to look after a couple of the catering jobs (for which I will pay her from the proceeds).

Is there someone, either a family member or good friend or a young person you trust that needs a place to stay for awhile, that you can take in to help with the kids and the chores? You will find if you can lessen your load you will not be as overwhelmed and can actually do some of the smaller things and work your way up.

I hope this helps. As I said, I really feel for you through my own current situation.
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Old 06-07-2008, 12:24 PM   #2605
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wimmen can cut you right down, huh mav.

they sometimes say hurtful things; things that have crossed their mind and that they are actually terrified of, but they blurt them out like it's what's truely in their hearts. as if getting those dark thoughts out into the open makes anything better.

i'm sure she regrets saying it as much as it hurt you.




lp, sorry tp hear about your pains. i hope they ease quickly.

for some reason, i keep thinking of an old one liner a co-worker used to say, "a bomb went off in the bording house. roomers were flying everywhere".
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Old 06-07-2008, 12:46 PM   #2606
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Thanks, BuckyT, for the well wishes and the good laugh!
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Old 06-07-2008, 08:21 PM   #2607
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people that we love say things they should not. whatever the reason.

i forgave my son for an awful remark after my husband was murdered and i was there when it happened.

i have pstd from it. he told my daughter that i was just trying to get pills. hurt big time.

my point is you will forgive and the hurt feelings will pass. but trust me u won't forget.

babe
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Old 06-07-2008, 08:58 PM   #2608
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All I know is that in any argument etc married or not you must keep to the subject at hand. When someone starts calling you names or wishing your demise that's when you walk away. Because at that point all the other person wants is to win the fight by hurting you and because in some ways they know they are wrong and can not take a bit of criticism themselves but still want to win no matter what rather than solve the problem and compromise . Arguments are fine and it's fine when they get they get really heated but when you are fighting with a name caller or someone that attacks your physical attributes you are getting into dirty fighting. Meaning the person who is saying these things is weak. My brother doe's that when he is losing the argument because he knows he doen't have a leg to stand on he resorts to really mean name calling. I for one will not put up with that kind of Bull S*** and I will walk away.
Bottom line when in an argument name calling or personal cut downs are not in the rules. Stay within the subject or shut the hell up.
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Old 06-07-2008, 11:03 PM   #2609
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Thank you everyone for your support, and for the laugh BT. I don't know anymore if she means this stuff or not, it has happened so many times. I always forgive, but no I can't forget and it is all piling up.
We have no one to lean on, no family to help or friends to come over, not even people from church can be bothered to reach out. Know what I did Memorial Weekend? Spent it at a hospital keeping a vet company because no one else would. Spent five hours in his room with DW and the kids, him and his wife. Ordered pizza, hung out, talked about fishing and watched Space Balls. I was half asleep most of the time because I was only a couple of days out of surgery and the pain meds put me to sleep, but it was time well spent. I just sometimes wonder where everyone else in our church was when only us and the Pastor ever visited him.
Someone goes into the hospital, I go see them. Someone needs help moving, I go help them. I even help out financially when I can, or give free labor, whatever it is that I can offer I offer. But when the shoe is on the other foot, the Pastor is all I see, so it is hard not to get frustrated and discouraged.
We did go to counseling for a couple of months last year, but with no one to watch the kids and no babysitter we had to stop. We are hoping to start up again in the next month or so, lord knows we need it.
I have to say I really feel for you, Laurie. My energy levels are very low as well, I last 4 hours at the museum before having to retreat to the Members Lounge to rest before calling it quits and coming home. For awhile they wanted to put me in a wheelchair but I refused, that was going to far I figured.
But, at least right now, I don't have anywhere near the pain you have. I wish I could say a prayer and make it go away for you, but at least I can say the prayer...
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Old 06-08-2008, 04:40 PM   #2610
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hey mav.

maybe my vent will make u smile. my cat, thomas, is being a super pest today.

first thing he did was open drawer in bathroom. then somehow got behind the drawer. he was stuck, so i went in and pulled drawer out so he could get out. he ambled out like " no big deal"

then i hear him trying to open sliding closet door to get in my craft closet. found him there yesterday sleeping on some yarn.

next he went around and dumped half the wastebaskets over.

he has used up at least three of his lives today.

babe
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