"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Click Here to Login
Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-09-2008, 08:02 AM   #2631
Master Chef
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: E. Pa.
Posts: 8,281
Originally Posted by Pook View Post
LOL!! Multiply that by five and now you see why people think I'm nuts.
I am!
Venting...why do some smokers insist on putting their cigarettes out on the floor NEXT to the ashtray on the smokers' patio (at work)?
not nuts at all... in the '90's I had 9 indoor cats and 3 dogs!

LadyCook61 is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 08:29 AM   #2632
Chef Extraordinaire
suziquzie's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 11,488
Send a message via AIM to suziquzie
jpm you always crack me up when I catch up from weekends!!!
I have this mental pic of a smackdown in your pretty green kitchen....

Stacy I'm so sorry, you have enough crap going on you don't need to be alone when you're home with someone on top of it.
I will rent mine out for free if anyone likes.... :)
hugs to you and LC be strong.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
suziquzie is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 09:15 AM   #2633
Executive Chef
Dina's Avatar
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Mission, Texas
Posts: 2,686
Send a message via Yahoo to Dina
Originally Posted by texasgirl View Post
For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.
I thought about the last 23 years and saw this. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse, adultry, fear when he came home, staying home everyday. Didn't go to movies, out to eat, nothing. Shopping alone for groceries, xmas and birthdays. Not getting anything for birthdays or xmas unless I got it myself. If I go anywhere with my sisters, even with my mom when she was alive, if I don't come home when he thought I should be done, I get yelled at. Even now, if I'm late getting home, I get yelled at. Now, I'm getting the poor me BS about EVERYTHING. You get 3 days off, I don't, at least you can eat normal, my head hurts, my neck hurts, my knee hurts, OMG, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get 3 days off, yes, but, my 40 is done in 4 days, eat normal, no, I don't eat normal, I have to eat the same junk he does in fear of listening to him complain and stare at me while I eat, that is why I have gained so much weight! I stopped smoking for HIM, not me, so that he would stop griping at me everyday telling me I stink. I live with things going on with my health and NEVER say anything because if I do, HIS is so much worse and I should be grateful. I'm sorry for the vent, but, you know what, I'm tired of living this way and I'm too chicken to leave. Chicken to be on my own and chicken to feel the guilt in leaving him!!!
I would not stay another minute. I believe everyone deserves a better life and that we make our own destiny by the choices we make. I will be praying for you for things to be better in YOUR life. DES'REE - YOU GOTTA BE LYRICS
If you have much, give of your wealth. If you have little, give of your heart. - Arab proverb
Dina is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 09:19 AM   #2634
Chef Extraordinaire
pdswife's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 20,332
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
Hugs Stacy....

Leaving is hard... but you can do it.!!!!
You don't deserve the kind of treatment that man gives you!!!!
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
pdswife is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 09:21 AM   #2635
Executive Chef
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Raton,NM, USA
Posts: 4,572
Stacy, you really need to work on this and get your power back it's your life and you deserve to be happy. That is ENTIRELY TOO MUCH STRESS on a person. Sounds like hubby is a bully. It's your life and you just don't hafto put up with that c**p. Youv'e been brought down so long you forgot how to stand up for your self. I would never ever feel guilty for leaving someone who treats me badly and neither should you. You need to relearn your own value and decide you are worth saving yourself.
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
jpmcgrew is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 10:13 AM   #2636
Master Chef
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: E. Pa.
Posts: 8,281
the man is an idiot. he is sitting in the chair, cell phone in hand, just holding, not talking on it, watched my kitten coughing, after chewing on a slipper, and gets my attention to tell me the kitten is coughing and chewed on my slipper.. hello??? can he get to the kitten?? grrrrrrrrr. I went to the kitten, pried open his mouth, didn't see anything lodged in there. After I checked the kitten, I said to him, leave me alone. he says to me : "you want the kitten to die? What if I didn't tell you he was coughing? " He would not get off his stupid pruney behind and check on the kitten. It really ticks me off.
LadyCook61 is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 10:18 AM   #2637
Sous Chef
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 503
[quote=texasgirl;623133]For some reason, I woke up at 3 am to the realization, that I am tired of living my life.

What you are describing is a classic case of abuse. You need help. I am somewhat familiar with women's shelters and, living in the same state as you, may be able to answer some questions or put you in touch with someone who can.

Do not be afraid. People that work with shelters are very discreet.

PM me if you have questions. In the meantime I'll keep you in my prayers.
simplicity is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 10:53 AM   #2638
Certified Cake Maniac
LPBeier's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Great "Wet" North
Posts: 20,088
TG, I was previously married to the poster-child of abusive husbands. Before we were married I would say to my abused friends "if my husband ever did that to me I would be gone in less than 60 seconds." Well, it did happen to me and it took me 5 years to leave and another 3 to realize he wouldn't change and I finalized the divorce.

I am going to PM you some information that helped me later today. I know that things are different in Canada and the US, but I think some of my hindsight should help you realize that you CAN make a clean break.

In the meantime, know that it is not about anything you have or have not done.

LC, I feel for you as well. You don't need to be treated like that after all these years (I don't know if this has been a pattern in your entire marriage).

My prayers are with both of you.
Living gluten/dairy/sugar/fat/caffeine-free and loving it!
LPBeier is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 12:11 PM   #2639
Master Chef
texasgirl's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 9,497
Ok, it was 5 am when I said this and I did not make it clear. The abuse has long past. This is what I have put up with for 23 years total. The abuse stopped about 5 years ago when I started fighting back,lol.
What I'm tired of is the fact that I'm fixing to be 40 and I have NO LIFE!!!! I go to work, go home, cook dinner, blend his food, clean, wash a load of clothes, go to bed. That is my daily routine and I'm SICK OF IT ALL!!! All I hear is how bad HE is. When I even THINK about telling him about my day or how I feel, he breaks in with what is so much worse with him. I'm sorry that I didn't make myself clear and that I scared anyone with my words. I only meant that I am tired of living THIS kind of life, none. Don't worry, not gonna do anything stupid and I have dealt with all the crap this long, it just doesn't matter anymore, it won't change. Just really needed to vent this morning for some reason. Guess it's been sitting there dormant long enough. LOL thank you all!! and the 2 that pm'ed me, I'm ok, I promise.
texasgirl is offline  
Old 06-09-2008, 12:44 PM   #2640
Certified Cake Maniac
LPBeier's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Great "Wet" North
Posts: 20,088
Stacy, I understand exactly what you are going through and am still going to PM you.

But I need to vent at the moment.

I hurt. I am in pain. I can't get any sleep or rest - lying on the bed, even an air matress is like torture. I hate to complain and feel like a wimp because I have dealt with chronic back pain but this is worse. This all over and gets worse when I move. I have trouble showering, dressing, working in the kitchen, practically doing anything.

DH really tries to understand, but he admittedly has never had to deal with much pain at all in his life. He keeps asking me every few minutes how I am feeling as if it is going to change. I sometimes snap at him and it is the pain, not me, but it doesn't make it any better. I am tired of taking pills - the ones the doctors prescribe that don't do anything and all the natural ones that DH reads about and buys because he is positive they will cure me....immediately.

I am so tired of being sent from one doctor to another and being told to "suck it up" until I am old enough for a joint replacement (I will be 50 this year but the general consensus in the medical field seems to be that a replaced joint lasts 15 years and I should live to 80 so they will have to do it twice).

The arthritis is spreading. They only want to acknowledge the knee for the time being even though I keep telling them it is all over - my knees, shoulders and hips are the worst. But now it is travelling into my hands, specially my left. I am finding even this typing difficult but I have to vent somehow. I am even having problems making the roses for a cake due the beginning of August and I have a lot of them to make. DD has helped me in the past but she has enough going on with her fiance still in the hospital and besides I wouldn't make her work on this one anyway because she and the groom have "history".

Like you, Stacy, I have just had enough and need a place where I can let it all out. I am on the edge, yet I have so many others to be strong for. How come I can do it for them, and not myself?

Living gluten/dairy/sugar/fat/caffeine-free and loving it!
LPBeier is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:24 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.