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Old 06-09-2008, 02:25 PM   #2641
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Stacy, WHEW! You scared me a bit there sweetie. I understand feeling like you are. Its nasty. Hugs my friend. If I can be an ear, or remind you how treasured you are here, just drop me a line. Even though you feel your life is drudgery, know that you bring smiles and sunshine to your friends here.

Laurie, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. That sounds just awful. I'm sure you have tried everything to help but I so want to help you that I feel I need to suggest some things for you. Have you tried acupuncture? It worked extremely well for my Dad. He was a freak about needles too but he couldn't even feel them. Living where you do I feel confident you can find a good acupuncturist. I know that something like yoga might not sound feasible at the moment, but if you can find a Hatha or Iyengar instructor near you give it a go. My back was horrible about 7 years ago and they told me nothing could be done except to throw pills at it. (And those just made the pain bearable, didn't get rid of it all) Maybe massage? At least it would give you some temporary relief and I know it is covered under a lot of plans.
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:27 PM   #2642
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Stacy, I'm so sorry things are rough for you right now. I know what you are saying about this not being a life that feeds your soul so you are feeling dead. It happens little by little over the years and then one day you realize it. Because it's been that way for so long, it's overwhelming. There looks to be no way to change it. No chance for things to ever be different. But things can change because you can change. It's the only thing you can control - what you do. But it's very hard and those around you will be scared by changes and will try to force things back to the way they were. That's where your strength will come in. You can learn to take care of yourself as well as those around you, even though they will load on the guilt to try and keep things the same. It starts with baby steps - meet a girlfriend for coffee after work instead of going home right after work. Hubby can blend food for himself sometimes or go hungry. I promise it won't kill him. Of course, he'll complain and b***h but he already does that anyway so learn to let it wash over you without affecting you. If you don't have any friends in town because your hubby has isolated you, then start making friends. Don't be afraid because hubby has squashed that in the past. You are a lovely, witty, charming person who deserves a life that has some joy in it, girlfriend. We're behind you. Bounce some ideas off of us - we're great cheerleaders!
Terry
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:53 PM   #2643
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Have you tried acupuncture? It worked extremely well for my Dad. He was a freak about needles too but he couldn't even feel them. Living where you do I feel confident you can find a good acupuncturist. I know that something like yoga might not sound feasible at the moment, but if you can find a Hatha or Iyengar instructor near you give it a go. My back was horrible about 7 years ago and they told me nothing could be done except to throw pills at it. (And those just made the pain bearable, didn't get rid of it all) Maybe massage? At least it would give you some temporary relief and I know it is covered under a lot of plans.
Thanks so much, Alix. I have tried acupuncture and have a really good physiotherapist who does needles and massage. However, I have been told by my first four doctors not to do anything like that until I have seen #5 who will hopefully do surgery on my knee. However, the appointment has been postponed twice. Also, that will only help the knee. I can't do yoga or anything like that right now, but I have in the past and yes, it is great. If I don't get this appointment in this week, I am going to go to my physio anyway. I know he will be able to help. The only down side though is it is a 1 hour drive away and car rides are really hard on me. Also, he is popular and books way in advance. But I appreciate the suggestions and will follow up on them.
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:58 PM   #2644
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Hang in there Laurie! Just get some relief however you have to. Geez that SUCKS!!
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:49 PM   #2645
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Hi Texasgirl - I'm with Fishers Mom, find something out of the house that is fun and just for you, let DH and boys look after themselves once a week or so and enjoy yourself. Don't forget you have this great big community standing with you and loving you for yourself and your loveliness.
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Old 06-09-2008, 04:50 PM   #2646
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Hi Laurie

Praying for you, if I was near I would love to help you and Maverick - I feel so far away but will stand with you in prayer & friendship.
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Old 06-09-2008, 10:21 PM   #2647
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Stacy, I understand exactly what you are going through and am still going to PM you.

But I need to vent at the moment.

I hurt. I am in pain. I can't get any sleep or rest - lying on the bed, even an air matress is like torture. I hate to complain and feel like a wimp because I have dealt with chronic back pain but this is worse. This all over and gets worse when I move. I have trouble showering, dressing, working in the kitchen, practically doing anything.

DH really tries to understand, but he admittedly has never had to deal with much pain at all in his life. He keeps asking me every few minutes how I am feeling as if it is going to change. I sometimes snap at him and it is the pain, not me, but it doesn't make it any better. I am tired of taking pills - the ones the doctors prescribe that don't do anything and all the natural ones that DH reads about and buys because he is positive they will cure me....immediately.

I am so tired of being sent from one doctor to another and being told to "suck it up" until I am old enough for a joint replacement (I will be 50 this year but the general consensus in the medical field seems to be that a replaced joint lasts 15 years and I should live to 80 so they will have to do it twice).

The arthritis is spreading. They only want to acknowledge the knee for the time being even though I keep telling them it is all over - my knees, shoulders and hips are the worst. But now it is travelling into my hands, specially my left. I am finding even this typing difficult but I have to vent somehow. I am even having problems making the roses for a cake due the beginning of August and I have a lot of them to make. DD has helped me in the past but she has enough going on with her fiance still in the hospital and besides I wouldn't make her work on this one anyway because she and the groom have "history".

Like you, Stacy, I have just had enough and need a place where I can let it all out. I am on the edge, yet I have so many others to be strong for. How come I can do it for them, and not myself?
LB,
I'm no doctor but have the doctors eliminated fibromyalgia from your list of symptoms? There's really not a confirmative diagnostic test for it as far as I know (eg. like in diabetes) but more of an elimination of other symptoms as well......the only reason I bring it up is that you hurt "all over"...usually arthritis is confined to the joints though the pain can be unbearable and it feels like it's all over......fibromyalgia tends to be all over in severe cases and equally debilitating ....oh, do I ever feel feel for you after what my poor mother in law suffered with osteoarthritis.
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Old 06-09-2008, 10:34 PM   #2648
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Yes, Expat, I do suffer from Fibromyalgia as well as the osteoarthritis, tendonitis in my shoulders and chronic back pain from three fractures in the lumbar region 17 years ago. They are all feeding off of each other right now so what works for one condition (like exercise) can flare up one of the others. That's what makes it so difficult.
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Old 06-09-2008, 10:36 PM   #2649
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ok, while on the this subject........my son just became a cop.........he watched his grandmother become progressively worse and finally reduced to a wheelchair. How many times did she have to be dropped off in front of a business in the sun because all the handicapped spots were taken......most spots quite legitimately have tags, hanging placards.........a few not......well, in training they are cautioned against being overzealous in enforcing the laws........use your best judgement............he lost his cool when a young 20 year old sauntered out of her sportscar parked in the last handicapped spot (temps here are now in the 90's +) and sashayed her way up to the store.........my son who was in plainsclothes was very polite and said "Ma'am, you have parked illegally in a handicapped space without the proper ID and you need to please move your car".........she gave him this withering, disdainful glare, shrugged her nicely toned shoulders and told him to mind his own business.......once again he politely repeated his request and commented that she didn't looked handicapped and to please move her car.......once again came the condescending flip of the shoulders and she continued on to the entrance.......then he flipped out his badge and told her that she had better move it or she was getting a citation......she took one look at it, moved her well-toned, tanned legs in short shorts and moved it.......such arrogance.....sorry, he just watched his grandmother struggle for so many years......said if it hadn't been the last handicapped place available probably would not have said a word.......maybe
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Old 06-09-2008, 10:39 PM   #2650
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Oh, LB,

I wondered------you must really struggle so.....can you or do you have any time for some water therapy so that you don't have stress on your joints?
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