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Old 06-13-2008, 09:32 PM   #2711
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Barbara, you should go to your doctor and talk to them about what is going on! Depression is not something to play with. love and hugs!!
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Old 06-13-2008, 10:02 PM   #2712
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Barbara, my heart goes out to you. I always thought people with depression should just get over it, until it happened to me. It was awful. Mine was job related. I use to go for walks when I got home from work and didn't even care if I got hit by a car. I thought if I did, I won't have to go to work again or at least for a while. I have never been rude in my life and I was starting to get rude. I hated it. Finally my DH and I talked it over and we both agreed that I should take early retirement. I thank God everyday that I did. I stilll have trouble sleeping though. I go to bed about 1:30 and wake up between 5 and 6.
Barbara, I hope and pray that you go to the doctors and get some help. I will pray for you. JoAnn
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Old 06-13-2008, 11:08 PM   #2713
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You describe a lot of what I do, which for me is the result of depression. Staying up late, sleeping in, no motivation to do things. I would definitely talk with your Dr. on a serious level about the possibility of depression. Many different things can cause it, not just mental illness.
I get the same way sometimes here, I can't respond to posts or back off for awhile, then I respond to tons of them in one day. I have wide mood swings, and it shows when I go back and look at my activity. Sometimes it is hard to understand, and I can be pretty hard on myself. I look back and think "why was I so lazy I didn't get anything done!". Sometimes DW does the same thing, it is hard for her to understand as well, and sometimes her frustration leads her to ask why I am so lazy, or to lash out at me, call me names or question my worth. All of this can be signs of depression, including how you interact with others and how they interact with you.
I would definitely talk with your Dr. about depression, they should have a questionnaire for you to fill out then you can go from there. If you and your doctor decide on meds, take the time to learn about them. Some people only need one, some are on 'cocktails' of meds (I am on 3), and there are several 'families' of meds.
I will pray for you that it is something temporary and you come out of it soon and return to your normal self! After all, as I said there are more causes than just mental illness. There is also stress for one, and many other factors that when taken care of or removed from your environment eliminate the depression.
I found out I was depressed and didn't even know it as I wasn't in a serious way I also had no motivation could not fall asleep or stay asleep cry for no reason I then got on Paxil and I swear I never want to go off of it, my life has changed so much I got into arts and crafts and took different classes and actually finished them and so forth. It really changed my life.
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Old 06-14-2008, 12:11 AM   #2714
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Thanks everyone. I will definitely talk to the doctor about it.

I know when it started for me--when I had to quit my job. Then I found myself at home all day, which I actually don't mind. I love being with people, but I also love being by myself (with the dog and cats). I seriously think I have adult ADD. I have read a lot about it, and I have a lot of the symptoms (some of which are a lot like those of depression). I think losing my job just compounded the problems I already had. One of the problems people with adult ADD have is prioritizing. For instance, I will have a lot of things that have to be done--I am eager to get them done, but with so much to be done, and all of them being important, I don't know where to start, so I end up not doing any of them. One thing I have learned is to make very short to-do lists, with no more than 3 things (preferably 1 big thing and 2 not so big things).

As far as my weird sleeping schedule--that's a combination of two things. Part of it is just me. I have always been a night owl. I think part of it is also the fact that James has been away from home 4 nights a week (he leaves very early Monday mornings and comes home Friday evenings) for the last 11 months. The good news is that next Friday, the 20th, is his last day. He starts his new job in the middle of August. So having him home will make a big difference all around.

Barbara
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Old 06-14-2008, 03:33 AM   #2715
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I have so many things I want to say and that I need to say but nothing wants to come out. I went a while without reading these posts--not sure why. It was just like it was too much to take in at the time. Then I started reading them, and everyone was going through so many horrible things, so many that I wouldn't be able to respond to each need or broken heart, and I felt bad about that. I know I shouldn't worry about it--I do pray for all of your needs--but when I start to respond lately, I feel as if I just don't have the right words to say, so I just haven't been saying anything.

I have been pretty down on myself lately--just not saying anything to anyone. I don't know if it is depression or adult ADD (I fit just about all the symptoms I have read about adult ADD, but possibly have depression on top of it?). I don't feel depressed at all, but one of the symptoms of depression is lack of motivation. The thing is, I know what needs to be done, and I intend to do it, but then I end up sitting in front of the stupid computer all day. I get all excited about all that I have planned, then I waste my time, and then I end up mentally beating myself up because of how worthless I was that day. I am doing better, and I know I will continue to do even better, but what I have felt like all this week is that I am just wasting most of my time. I am back on a horrible sleep schedule (to bed between 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning, up around 11:00 to noon) which definitely doesn't help. When James starts work it will be easier to establish a better sleep schedule, but I would like to do it sooner. Unfortunately he has gotten just about as bad when he is here. He only has one week of school left, and it would be very easy for both of us to end up with this horrible sleep schedule. I'm going to work on it this coming week. James actually sleeps a lot in his chair, so he gets more sleep than I do, but hopefully we will both start getting more regular sleep. We are supposed to both go to the doctor when he is out of school. I had mentioned that I thought I might be having problems with depression, but I don't think she realized I was really concerned about it (I was kind of unsure of it all and it probably didn't really sound like I was concerned), but I will bring it up again on this next visit.

I am so sorry to have rambled on like this (I hope at least some of it made sense!). All I really wanted to do was tell you that I have been reading these posts, even if I don't always respond, and that I am concerned for all of your needs and do pray for you.

Barbara
Barb,
We love you so much here dear lady and any concern of yours is ours too. I woke up after falling asleep at 11:00 tonight and something pulled me to the computer to check the boards. (Possibly to find some words to comfort you somehow.) I've been there where you are my dear. I never mention it either but for over a year, if not more, I too was depressed. I also lost my teaching job due to certification issues and having a pushy principal. I have been on 25 milligrams of meds for over 3 months now and I can honestly say that I have cried ONLY once in that period as opposed to crying almost every day for no important reason at all. I am self motivated and take the kids to do lots of fun things as opposed to waiting on someone else (like DH) to push me to do things with the family. I have 3 young kids who deserve my attention and quality time and I wasted so much time neglecting them, at times, because I was feeling sorry for myself. I know exactly how lonely it feels. I now feel I can do everything "independently". I feel a purpose and self worth even if I'm a stay at home mom at the moment. I have all the reasons to be happy and STOP letting life pass me by. Have faith that God and meds will help you. Don't procrastinate about seeing a doctor soon. God does help you but you must begin by helping yourself. I truly believe in that. Rest assured that the meds will change you into a better person, the person you'd like to be. I have you and James in my prayers every day and I will be praying for your well being even harder. Hugs to you sweet lady! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
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Old 06-14-2008, 11:16 AM   #2716
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Dina, I can't wait anymore. Did you get your son's pathology report yesterday? I've been thinking hard about ya'll.
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Old 06-14-2008, 11:25 AM   #2717
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Barbara L, my heart goes out to you. I really think that stress is a huge factor in how you are feeling. You and James had some serious financial constraints for most of the last year, plus he is away from you for most of the week. Then your job loss. Like JP says, stress can do a number on you. Even though you won the house and the financial issues are so much better, and James will be home for good soon, you can't turn it on and off like a light switch. All the stress has left you shell-shocked. I really think if you seek out help, you can resolve this pretty quickly.

Here's a little tip too - try forcing yourself to do something really strenuous for a couple of days. I'm talking washing walls, scrubbing floors by hand, scouring bathroom tiles, etc. You could exercise on gym equipment, too, but I think it's helpful emotionally to have accomplished something when you're wearing yourself out. (A great self-esteem booster.) If you can set yourself to a hard physical task each day, it actually releases hormones and chemicals that combat stress. It will exhaust you so you will fall asleep, too. Good luck, hon. This is tough but you are a brave woman just posting about it. I know you will conquer this.
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Old 06-14-2008, 12:23 PM   #2718
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f-mom, the next time you're feeling kinda blue, you are more than welcome to come stay at my house. we have very hard water so my bathroom tiles are disgusting.

barbara, getting help is great, but paraphrasing from the wizard of oz (and redkitty's return to s.f.), you always had it in you to get home. to get back to being happy; appreciating life; the whole ball o' wax.

a therapist might be able to help you realize your way back, but remember it's just help, and it's your way. no one else can do it for you, so just go do it for yourself.
also, be careful of psycho-pharmacology. it's often a crutch rather than a cure.

believe in yourself, and you'll be fine.

we'll get around to doing the rest of the stuff tomorrow, now that the bathroom is sparkly!!!
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Old 06-14-2008, 12:38 PM   #2719
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f-mom, the next time you're feeling kinda blue, you are more than welcome to come stay at my house. we have very hard water so my bathroom tiles are disgusting.
Mine is too. I think I purposely stay giddy happy most of the time just to avoid the hard work treatment for the blues. But hey, I'll keep you in mind in case I get a little down.
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Old 06-14-2008, 05:10 PM   #2720
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Dina, I can't wait anymore. Did you get your son's pathology report yesterday? I've been thinking hard about ya'll.
Thank you for asking. We did get the pathology results on Thursday morning. The ENT surgeon told us that no cancer cells were found. Thank you Lord!!! All they found was fluid that encapsuling the mass but the doc said that only surgery will tell us what exactly it is. As soon as the mass is removed, it will be sent to pathology and we should know what it is that same day. Part of his hyoid bone will have to come out if the mass is attached to it. He will have a scar on the neck; recuperation time is one week. Justin's suppose to have a day surgery, God willing, with no complications on July 10th. If anything else should come up, he will stay in the hospital longer.

Would you all PLEASE keep praying for my son? I'm relieved in one way knowing no cancer was found, but worried not knowing how the surgery will turn out.
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