Old Venting Thread

[expatgirl]

Hopefully she wont be invited back?
I get really upset about stuff like that... makes me not even want to go anywhere sometimes just cuz i cant stand rude snotty people, which seem to be a dime a dozen these days.

Well, one of the other people had played with Greta before and had mentioned how nervous she made her when she played ..........there's no excuse for her snotty behaviour----she knew that we were not experienced players and for her to say that to me after one game???????? Revenge was sweet---but that's not how we usually play---we normally cheer each other on for winning---noone is cheered for making the other team lose their bid but today there was a silent party going on let me tell you!!! God, life is too short to get that stupid over a card game. There are far more serious matters.........

 

[Bilby]

That's sad, Bilby---people are funny as you say. I've only dropped two friends in the last couple of years-------one for being so pathologically stingy even though she's rolling in $$$ (and we're talking several million) (the story of how she treated her father's stepchildren who had nothing-- and tried to sell me their mother's modest ring instead of giving it back to them for a keepsake--the other was brewing for a long time. I hope that things will get back to normal for her.

thanks Expat but she is well and truly over it now. Dad will have been dead for 25 years next Saturday! she has new friends now.

 

[kadesma]

when my dad died, almost all of the friends that mum and dad had, dropped mum. The really strange part in that is that the women were the ones who were the main friends in the groupings. People are generally all strange in their own ways and most of the time we never understand why someone does what they did. Still can annoy the bones out of you. Not to mention how hurtful it is to lose friends whether for a good reason or no reason. give it time and all might revert to normal again, - if you are still interested.

Bilby, what happened to you mom, was mean, rude and hurtful..Your mother probably wondered what she did..I've seen it over and over..The other women are like school girls protecting what is theirs!!! In other words, your mom could maybe steal a DH away..Like she'd even think of it..But most of the time men tend to think your helpless and want to help you and the gang of women cannot understand that..That is til heaven forbid they are in your mom's place..Your mom bless her must be on nice lady..Give her a hug for me. I can't hug mine anymore, so I pass them to others mom's

kades

 

[jpmcgrew]

Bilby, what happened to you mom, was mean, rude and hurtful..Your mother probably wondered what she did..I've seen it over and over..The other women are like school girls protecting what is theirs!!! In other words, your mom could maybe steal a DH away..Like she'd even think of it..But most of the time men tend to think your helpless and want to help you and the gang of women cannot understand that..That is til heaven forbid they are in your mom's place..Your mom bless her must be on nice lady..Give her a hug for me. I can't hug mine anymore, so I pass them to others mom's

kades

You would think people would do the opposite by embracing the one who is going thru a hard time. I guess that says a lot about some people you thought were a good friend. I guess that's where the "fair weather friends" comes in, it's funny you would never in a million years expect such callous behavior until it actually happens. Shame on all of them.

 

[Bilby]

Thanks Kades. That's exactly what mum thought was happening. Stupid thing is these people had all been friends for best part of two decades! well shot of em in my opinion. Of course mum could have done with the support then.

 

[Bilby]

You would think people would do the opposite by embracing the one who is going thru a hard time. I guess that says a lot about some people you thought were a good friend. I guess that's where the "fair weather friends" comes in, it's funny you would never in a million years expect such callous behavior until it actually happens. Shame on all of them.

very true JP

 

[expatgirl]

I'm so glad to hear that your "mum" has moved on and has better than "fair-weathered" friends........she's lucky to have you looking out for her best interests

 

[LEFSElover]

you know Bilby, people are strange. you can't try to figure them out. I've wondered many times why people are cut from the cloth they are, but then, if we were all alike, that'd be difficult too. I say take your mum out for a wonderful brunch and talk about the fun times...

 

[Bilby]

Actually I had a chat about this with mum on the weekend. It is such a long time ago now, she can only remember the one couple, although she remember a couple more lots that I didn't think of and don't really count as they were dad's friends from work, so that wasn't that odd in my opinion. We did have a good laugh about it.

At the moment, she is staying with my brother on the ocean down south. She will be with them for dad's anniversary. I have debated about reminding my brother but don't want to offend him if he has remembered. [Some of his memories are a little hit or miss I find but I expect that is mainly from being the boy in the family and not anticipating while he was growing up that he would need to know any dates! LOL Times have changed somewhat!! ;-)] I figured that if he hasn't remembered, I will just take mum out when she gets back the next day. And if he did, well that's good. This is always ignoring that my mother has a voice and knows how to use it if she wants to!! ;-)

 

[Bilby]

I say take your mum out for a wonderful brunch and talk about the fun times...

Actually, we usually go out for lunch on dad's birthday, their wedding anniversary and the anniversary of his death. We normally get something with a few bubbles in and toast him. We don't just remember the good times. We are a warts and all kind of family.

I was in hospital for last year's anniversary, so we went out around Father's Day instead and put our small lottery winning towards a very expensive, not to mention very long, lunch. It was divine! Mind you would have been completely wasted on dad who would probably preferred steak and chips with rhubarb and apple pie with custard for dessert!! You get that!

 

[LEFSElover]

Bilby, you say your brother may not remember and you are worried about offending. Why not say to him, "So comforted to hear mum will be with you on 'that' specific day as it's hard enough for her, being with you though, I know she'll feel more comfortable. Thanks for having her on dad's anniversary, it means a lot." Just a suggestion

 

[Bilby]

Thanks for the suggestion LEFSE but we just don't have that sort of relationship. It's either out with it or keep schtumm. Mum and I talked about it when she was choosing which day to come home on, and she knows what they are like as a family and was prepared for the throw of the dice. She chose to come home the day AFTER the anniversary. On Sunday when I pick her up, she and I will either have a laugh at where their heads are screwed on or have a laugh that they remembered! LOL I think mum has gone down there with the attitude to see what happens cos even if he does remember, there is no guarantee that he will feel comfortable bringing it up or marking the occasion. He and I are vastly different creatures. Sometimes, I need to take a backseat, and I think this is one of those times.

 

[Maverick2272]

Venting frustration/ISO advice

The frustration:
It has been two months since my triple bi-pass, and the chest pains are still there. Supposed to start PT this week, had to delay as the won't let me participate unless I bring my glucometer and test before exercising. Mg/Dl has to be below 300 per their rules. I am out of test strips and am having a hard time getting a new prescription for them as my PCP is on vacation and no one else seems to want to make the decision to just write it out without seeing me first. The prescription is there in my file, just expired for renewals and needs them to either just OK the re-fill with Walgreens, or write a new one with X number of refills.
I won't see the Cardiologist for another month, and when calling over they say wait or go to the emergency room. I do not think I need to go to the ER, and wasn't the surgery supposed to end this problem? At the time they thought I might need a quadruple but settled on a triple, maybe they should have done the quadruple.
One group of Dr's says just wait it out, it will get better. The other says I should have another angiogram done to check on additional blockages. Until they agree, I am stuck in the middle again like I was before the surgery. I would rather not have another heart attack while waiting on them to decide on a course of action (which is what happened last time.

The Advice:

I always tell DW Clients are Clients and not friends, never mix the two. But, one couple has become just that. Great people, had us over for a dinner party going on 3 years ago when we completed their first garden.
One is an antique dealer, the other is of all things a Heart Surgean/Cardiologist and a darn good one. One of his hospitals he works with is Loyola. A very good hospital.
He knows what is going on thru DW, and wants me to leave a list of my meds with him for review. He also wants me to drop the cardiologist at my hospital and go to Loyola. My heart surgeon is there, and he wants to work with him to take a closer look and get a decision made, plan in place, etc. He says it is possible to have a heart attack even after a triple, and they cant get all the blockages at once plus some just plain get more blocked up after the surgery and they have no choice but to operate again. He definetely seems more action orientated and knowledgable as he has done a much better job of explaining possible causes and courses of treatment.
I certainly appreciate the offer, but am worried about mixing business and personal.

What would you do?

 

[Bilby]

First and foremost, you need to be checked out by someone. I don't know what a PCP is - is that the term you use for your family doctor? If so, can you just go to someone in the same practice? If not, go to your family doctor and at least get him look you over.

I have several specialists and a general GP. Everyone defers to the nephrologist though for general care and monitoring. (The quicker they can give me the flick, the happier they seem to be!! LOL Poor GP can't get rid of me though!! LOL) When they go on holiday, I go to whoever can access my file (within their field). I can understand not wanting just anyone to do something major to you, but for "maintenance", anyone qualified really will do.

As to the personal/business relationship - it happens. Usually the sky doesn't fall down when it does. If you are comfortable with the chap, I think you should say to him, look I really don't want to stop seeing my cardiologist but would appreciate your assistance in this instance. My brother wants me to change GP's (Family Doctor) to his friend who practices only a few minutes from my house rather than the half an hour I now travel. His friend I am sure is very good and is a lovely chap - he was groomsman at my brother's wedding and my partner (wedding sense only) some twenty plus years ago. In one sense, I am happy to oblige but there are just some things that I wouldn't want to consult Greg for - I mean, he's my brother's friend and has known me since I was a little girl. But I would if I had to.

End of the day, just see someone and don't worry about the PT until this is resolved. And any medical person who just says to ignore it without looking you over, should be ignored. IMO

 

[expatgirl]

what would I do??? Maverick, first of all I would kick your butt....get yourself to the doctor and get more tests run if you need another bypass then so be it..but things are the way they are and maybe all is going to be well with the triple but get youself to a reputable doctor nonetheless----I know that transient heart pains are a consequence of heart surgery so I'm not going to dispute that fact....you are definitely worried or you wouldn't share your concerns...please see someone reputable...you don't sound really sure of your present doctor.....it's your heart and life

 

[DawnT]

Mav, HELLO!!??!! Go get yourself checked. If your PCP is with a group, any one will do. As for the cardioligist - you are entitled to a second and third opinion, so go talk to your friend's cardiologist! AFTER your get CHECKED.

 

[Maverick2272]

DW said she is going to go ahead and talk to her client about a second opinion. She says he has already hinted several times I should leave my hospital and go to Loyola. Even if I don't see him at Loyola, I would be seeing someone he knows.
DW is going to talk to him next time we are up there.
Bilby, a PCP is a Primary Care Physician. I love mine, but she is not a cardiologist, so the only thing she can do is give me a referral to one. She was right there with me the whole way pushing them to do more tests until they found the blockages.
If I decide to take DW's client up on his offer, she would more than readily give me a referral to see him or whoever he told me I should see.
And I am sure when she comes back from vacation and finds out they didn't cover her patients right, there will be consequences. But in the meantime, I am still stuck on that.

 

[kadesma]

Well guys, friday was something and saturday was a doozy...Friday the staff at the pharmacy kept hearing a moaning groaning coming from the ceiling, then they noticed some water seepage..Upshot was store evacuated, we made the news as the store selling drugs on the street..And that is the way it will be for the next 3 months..DH and partner are going to really have a hands full situation..We have a post office and pay station in there tons of gifts..so it's like now what..This is really hard to take, but a big thank heaven nobody was hurt,venting well a little,crying is more like it.
kadesma

 

[Katie H]

Okay, cj, I'm confused. Moaning and water seeping from the ceiling? Was there a body there? Pharmacy? I'm kinda new to your background.

 

[texasgirl]

Well guys, friday was something and saturday was a doozy...Friday the staff at the pharmacy kept hearing a moaning groaning coming from the ceiling, then they noticed some water seepage..Upshot was store evacuated, we made the news as the store selling drugs on the street..And that is the way it will be for the next 3 months..DH and partner are going to really have a hands full situation..We have a post office and pay station in there tons of gifts..so it's like now what..This is really hard to take, but a big thank heaven nobody was hurt,venting well a little,crying is more like it.
kadesma

You have been through so much this past year! You are the strongest person I know right now and with your loving family, you will get through this and everything will be better than it is now. I love you and so does everyone here. I will think of you and pray for you everyday until it's better!!