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Old 08-17-2006, 11:46 PM   #1
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Out of the mouths of babes, kids, teens, etc.

True stories from one of your kids, or a kid that you knew of or heard of (mabe glad not yours---ha) to share????? When my son was 3 years old we were checking out of Target and he kept turning around and emphasizing "Poo Poo Head, Mama..""I was so embarassed and could not face the person behind me and tried to distract him---finally we were out of there and I secretly turned around to see what he was referring to, and sure enough the guy behind us had one of those dark, brown french pancake hats on." Oh, goodness, I wanted to die!!!!

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Old 08-18-2006, 01:15 AM   #2
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We took our 9 year old son to the drive in to see the new Superman movie.
A group of "tween" girls walked in fron of the car and Billy (my son) said aloud... "Come to Billy". We about died.
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Old 08-18-2006, 01:27 AM   #3
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lol ex and middie!

i was on a line in convenient store recently, in front of a mom and little boy. the kid was grabbing lots of candy from the shelves, trying to explain that he was getting it for grandma. the boy's mom exclaimed (rather loudly and rudely, imo) that "grandma doesn't eat that crap! put it back!!!"

very innocently, in the most angelic voice, the boy rang out "then what kind of crap does grandma eat?"...
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Old 08-18-2006, 09:37 AM   #4
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Sofie (she's 9 mo now) has decided that the funniest thing is seeing people bend over. When we were in the grocery store last week there was an extremely large man ahead of us who bent over to get something off the shelf. Leave it to Sof to look at him and start laughing her head off! I tried to hurry by and she kept craning her neck around me to be able to keep looking at him and laughing. It took all I had to not start laughing myself!

It frightens me what kind of sense of humor we're instilling in her!
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Old 08-18-2006, 09:51 AM   #5
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I never allowed the kids to eat or drink in my car. One time when we were driving back from FL to PA, I stopped and let them get sausage biscuits and oj.

When I glanced in the backseat, it looked like it had snowed, there were crumbs everywhere.

I pulled over in Melbourne, FL, asked the boys (3 & 5) to pop out of the car and began to clean it out. The youngest who had made the mess and who still was chomping on his 2nd sandwich, looked over at me and nonchaulantly asked, "Are you going to leave us here?".

I'll never forget that question and the way he looked, trying so hard to act like it wouldn't bother him at all, while he was shuffling his feet and looking up at the sky.

Of course that had me on my knees, laughing and loving all over them.
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Old 08-18-2006, 11:24 AM   #6
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This morning Callum farted and Aidan promptly said "Nice trumpet Callum!"
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Old 08-18-2006, 11:37 AM   #7
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When my oldest, Doug, was 3 or 4, I had talken him shopping at the grocery store. In the middle of the meat aisle, with no prompting and no reason (he wasn't even being bad) he shouted:

"PLEASE DADDY, DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!"
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Old 08-18-2006, 11:59 AM   #8
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My MIL just told me that yesterday, Ronnie, one of my twins, heard someone break wind. Ronnie came up to my MIL and asked her, "Gramma, did you fart?" She about died.

Last year, we were watching a movie, I'm not sure what. The camera POV switched, and you got some instant foreshadowing that SOMETHING BAD was about to happen, which it did about 30 seconds later. However, as soon as the POV switched, Logan, then 2 1/2 y.o., clearly said, "Oh sh!t"

Mods, if that's to much, feel free to delete the last one.
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Old 08-18-2006, 12:31 PM   #9
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Got a couple. I was taking my kids to a church sponsored sleigh-ride one winter. It was snowing quite hard and visibility was not good. I was Northeast of Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, in unfamiliar territory and was following another parent to the even. Of course another car just had to get between me and the person I was following, and drive slow. I was sure I was going to get lost, not knowing the way to the farm location. I was becoming tense and made the mistake of exlaiming quite loudly, "I whish that pin-head would get out of the way!"

Well, as luck would have it, the "pin-head" was a grandmother who was taking her grandchild to the same sleigh-ride. She pulled into the farm with me following close behind. My youngest middle child, at that time a very energetic and spontaneous boy, promplty jumped out of the car, ran up to the woman and said "My dad called you a pin-head."

Of course I was mortified and found myself apologizing repeatedly for about an hour afterwords. The grandmother graciously took it all in stride and laughed about the embarrasing situation.

When my eldest was about 18 months (she was an early walker and spoke in complete sentences), her mother scolded her for some little thing she had done wrong. Little Jessica swiftly turned around, put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, "I've had about enough of this!" It caught both me and my wife by suprise and it was all we could do not to bust out laughing.

Lastly, in a story similar to vyapti's, we were in the front yard of our home when Jessica, again only about 2 or so, did something wrong. Her mom turned toward her and hadn't hardly moved when Jessica cried out loudly, "Please mommy, don't beat me again!" We barely ever swated our kids through thick diapers, and never more than one quick little tap to get their attention. Where Jessie came up with those phrases I'll never know. But it sure made us nervous as we lived in San Diego at the time, and many people were being turned in for child abuse, whether they had ever commited it or not. And our next-door neighbor was the street gossip.

Out of the mouths of babes indeed.

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Old 08-18-2006, 01:36 PM   #10
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lol ex and middie

Bucky did I ever tell you about Billy
and his "cute chickens" ?

When my eldest was about 18 months (she was an early walker and spoke in complete sentences), her mother scolded her for some little thing she had done wrong. Little Jessica swiftly turned around, put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, "I've had about enough of this!" It caught both me and my wife by suprise and it was all we could do not to bust out laughing


Goodweed that reminds me of when I lived with my cousin and her 3 kids. Emily was the youngest. I'd say she was around 2 and she was trying to sneak outside so I locked the door. She put her hands on her hips swung around to look at me and said "You got a pwoblem?". My mother and I rolled over with laughter.
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Old 08-18-2006, 04:08 PM   #11
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When my middle son was maybe 4 and he proudly announced to others, "My mommy doesn't have a dinky......she pees out of her butt"!............... I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants............tears were rolling down my face.
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Old 08-18-2006, 04:38 PM   #12
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A couple involving my siblings......

Dad, who had a hot temper, was yelling at my youngest brother over some wrongdoing. An even younger sister, about 3 or so, asked him sweetly, "Daddy, are you going to give him a good **** spanking?"

Another sister, at about the same age, kept trying to interrupt a conversation Mom was having with a friend. Mom said, "Shut your little mouth." Sister indignantly replied, "I don't have a little mouth - I have a big mouth!"

My very own sweet child, trying to tell me that Grandma had forgotten something, told me that Grandma had "lost her mind of it."
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Old 08-18-2006, 04:52 PM   #13
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These are all just too cute. Umph! I said the cute word. Gotta go get some red meat.

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Old 08-18-2006, 07:50 PM   #14
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I'm laughing so hard right now--made my Friday afternoon as I'm struggling with a sinus infection and don't feel particularly great. I have another Christopher "pooh pooh head" story to share. Once I was trying to feed his baby sister, Kari, and as usual he is bang-clanging about and finally exasperated I pleaded with him, "Please, Chris, stop making all that noise you are making Mommy's ears ring." Well, it did get somewhat quieter, and then I noticed Chris getting closer and closer to me and finally he is cocking his head right next to my ears and I asked him what was his problem---and in all sincerity he replies "Mommy, I don't hear any ringing"--he was actually trying to hear ringing come out of my ears---too funny.
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Old 08-18-2006, 08:08 PM   #15
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When my son married, his wife already had a 3 year old daughter. We went up for the wedding and his soon to be wife and little girl and I went shopping. When we started in the grocery store, she said Mommie, may I show grandma the mobsters? I was laughing so hard by the time we reached the lobster tank. Her mother had never heard her mention that at all. I could just imagine Marlon Brando in the tank.
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Old 08-18-2006, 08:13 PM   #16
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We were travelling in the car, and discussing the politics of ....a far off country. My 8 year old nephew piped up from the back seat and said" Are the Catholics still fighting with the prostitutes?" We were a bit silent for a moment until we figured out what he meant!
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Old 08-18-2006, 08:19 PM   #17
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I read this story somewhere of a dad and his 3 year old daughter driving. The dad got cut off and he yelled at the other driver "you turkey!" Then his daughter told him "Dad! That's not a turkey, that's a man!"
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Old 08-18-2006, 08:34 PM   #18
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Cora, that is something I really had to watch with my little grandson. He was about the same age when someone pulled right across in front of me. I wasn't happy but didn't realize I had said something aloud. GS said "mema, did you call that guy a jerk?". I had to tell him that I did, but shouldn't have.He and his mother lived with us for about 3 years so we had all kind of time together. Sometimes he would ask where we were going and I would sing to him to the tune of "havin a heatwave" - I'm drivin us crazy, I'm drivin us crazy - He said "mema, don't sing "drivin us crazy". So I stopped. Shortly he said "mema, will you sing "drivin us crazy again". We had such sweet times together and I really missed them when they moved out on their own, but so glad they were able to be independent.
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Old 08-18-2006, 09:43 PM   #19
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I have two daughters 4 years apart. In the early years, the younger was having a problem pronouncing the "th" sound, she would say "s" rather than "th". Trying to train her out of the habit, her mom and I would correct her with emphasis on the "th", e.g. "Jen, say,'withhhhh'"

One night at the dinner table her older sister had forgotten her manners and was making a lot of noise eating her soup. I admonished her with, "Debbie, don't slurp your soup!". Jen corrected me with, "Dad, say, 'Thhhhlurp!'"
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Old 08-18-2006, 10:12 PM   #20
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Cute thories----thanks for sharing!! As a first grade teacher I had taught a unit on the Pilgrims' First Thanksgiving in America and on the last day of school before the holidays we celebrated with a "feast" in the classroom. You name it--we did it------as a follow-up I asked the question "And what was the name of the ship that the Pilgrims sailed on to America?' Perplexed looks everywhere. Gee- I'm dismally thinking to myself----I guess I've done a great job of teaching. So I coaxed them with the hint "Remember, it's got the name of a flower in it-------finally one little boy's hand shot in the air and after nodding enthusiastically to him he yelps "The Cauliflower!!!" Yep, from the mouths of tomorrow's leaders!!!!!!!!
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