EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
7:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE !
9:30 PM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE !
10:30 PM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE !
12:30 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE !
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE !
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE !
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE !
7:00 PM - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE !
9:30 PM -OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY favorite !
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY-
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. Jerks.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while
they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile bastards, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair.
I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take
them to find it?
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Darn ! Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez." Must learn what the Heck this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time... the sonuvab$#ch.
I've been putting in alot about my pets lately, thought I'd toss this out there...