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Old 01-10-2014, 11:35 AM   #2501
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Originally Posted by CarolPa View Post
Reaching 175 would be an accomplishment for me, and I'm not talking age! LOL

I think a birthday party should be a surprise. You should not have to do anything. It sounds like you're throwing a party for yourself!
I hate it when attention is focused on me. I get very nervous. BTW, there is the problem of presents. I can't think of anything I need or want. And I don't have the room to store anything. Does it sound crass to mention to my daughter that I want her to add "no presents please" to the invites? If I had my druthers, I would rather just receive money. Being on a fixed income, I could always use that. But I will let my daughter handle that one without any word from me.
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Old 01-10-2014, 12:11 PM   #2502
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My daughter is planning this bash for me in March. It is turning into a hassle for me. I realize she is going to need help. But she does have a daughter that should be helping her. Not me. I had to provide all the addresses, reserve the room, provide the check for damages, (I get it back), and next will probably be she will want me to do the decorating. Hopefully, she is having it catered. If not, I am screwed. She will want me to do the cooking. If she orders catering, here we go again with more Italian food. From my least favorite place to order it from.
Arghhhh! Do you have an option for saying----- sorry, it's my party and I really don't feel like doing any work for it? Not even planning.

Whatever happened to a good old surprise birthday party?
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Old 01-10-2014, 12:20 PM   #2503
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Arghhhh! Do you have an option for saying----- sorry, it's my party and I really don't feel like doing any work for it? Not even planning.

Whatever happened to a good old surprise birthday party?
I wish I did. But she has brain cancer, so whatever I can do to make her life just a little bit easier, I will do.
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Old 01-10-2014, 12:31 PM   #2504
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I'm sorry, I had forgotten that she has brain cancer. My apologies.
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Old 01-10-2014, 02:46 PM   #2505
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I'm sorry, I had forgotten that she has brain cancer. My apologies.
Apology accepted. Not a problem. I understand.
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Old 01-10-2014, 02:56 PM   #2506
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My daughter is planning this bash for me in March. It is turning into a hassle for me. I realize she is going to need help. But she does have a daughter that should be helping her. Not me. I had to provide all the addresses, reserve the room, provide the check for damages, (I get it back), and next will probably be she will want me to do the decorating. Hopefully, she is having it catered. If not, I am screwed. She will want me to do the cooking. If she orders catering, here we go again with more Italian food. From my least favorite place to order it from.

Do I sound ungrateful? I'm not. Just irritated at the whole idea. I have never been one for birthdays. I figure if you behave yourself and live right you will see a birthday next year. That is how it is supposed to be. I don't think reaching 75 yrs. is a big accomplishment. Reaching 175 is.
No, not ungrateful. If was throwing a party for you all I would expect you to do would be to sit in state having all the family at your beck and call and I CERTAINLY wouldn't expect you to cough up the deposit for damages or anything else! I'd ask you what you fancied to eat as well, if I couldn't remember your favourite foods.
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Old 01-10-2014, 02:59 PM   #2507
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I'm sorry, I had forgotten that she has brain cancer. My apologies.
And I'm sorry too, Addie, I didn't know about that;

Could you perhaps use it as a get-out? Too much trouble for her and all that?
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Old 01-10-2014, 03:07 PM   #2508
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I hate it when attention is focused on me. I get very nervous. BTW, there is the problem of presents. I can't think of anything I need or want. And I don't have the room to store anything. Does it sound crass to mention to my daughter that I want her to add "no presents please" to the invites? If I had my druthers, I would rather just receive money. Being on a fixed income, I could always use that. But I will let my daughter handle that one without any word from me.
Not crass at all to request "No presents please". Difficult, I agree, to ask for money for oneself but if people insist on gifts why not ask for donations to your favourite charity? Some friends of mine got married recently. They were both widowed and had moved in with each other so had more pots and pans and vases and sets of bedding and vacuum cleaners than you could shake a stick at, so they asked for donations to the Royal British Legion, a charity supporting armed services personnel (they got married on November 11th). The "gifts" added up to nearly 2000!
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Old 01-10-2014, 03:33 PM   #2509
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And I'm sorry too, Addie, I didn't know about that;

Could you perhaps use it as a get-out? Too much trouble for her and all that?
The chemo is playing all kinds of tricks on her mind. It doesn't allow her to handle stress very well. So I can only try to make it easier for her. I just wish her daughter would step up.

Hopefully, in February she goes for her next MRI and we are hoping the chemo will stop. She has been on it for more than a year.

This is the second time we have been through this. Her husband was in stage four with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and given about three to four weeks to live at the time they found it. He beat the odds. He is more than a five year survivor. And now her. Will she make it, won't she make it. I feel like each day I am plucking the petals of a daisy flower. Most of the days I make it through the day without breaking down. Some days I don't. She will only see my side of strength. Never see me break down. When my youngest daughter was murdered, she was my strength. She protected me through the wake and funeral. Now I have to be hers. She is only 53 and my first born.

She has two children. Her oldest is a son and can't do enough for her. Her daughter is a piece of crap. My daughter and her husband have closed the cash register drawer. Go to work and earn your own money. Want to finish school? Take out student loans. She handed my daughter a list of what she wants for her birthday at the end of January. Her father snatched it and handed it right back to her and told her to have fun shopping. She knows better than to act up in my presence.

So I just keep plugging away each day and try to keep a positive outlook. All the swelling in her brain from the surgery has finally gone down after more than 18 months. And now they can see that what is left of the tumor is finally shrinking. My biggest worry is I know what the final prognosis is. Only five percent with this type of brain cancer live beyond two years and even less more than five years. Come February, it will be determined after her MRI as to whether she will remain on chemo for the rest of her life or come off it.

So now you know why I put an angel at the end of every post I make. It is for her. One can never have too many angels looking down on them and protecting them. And you will notice that a lot of folks here in the forum post one also. To them, I give an eternal Thanks.
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Old 01-10-2014, 04:30 PM   #2510
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The chemo is playing all kinds of tricks on her mind. It doesn't allow her to handle stress very well. So I can only try to make it easier for her. I just wish her daughter would step up.

Hopefully, in February she goes for her next MRI and we are hoping the chemo will stop. She has been on it for more than a year.

This is the second time we have been through this. Her husband was in stage four with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and given about three to four weeks to live at the time they found it. He beat the odds. He is more than a five year survivor. And now her. Will she make it, won't she make it. I feel like each day I am plucking the petals of a daisy flower. Most of the days I make it through the day without breaking down. Some days I don't. She will only see my side of strength. Never see me break down. When my youngest daughter was murdered, she was my strength. She protected me through the wake and funeral. Now I have to be hers. She is only 53 and my first born.

She has two children. Her oldest is a son and can't do enough for her. Her daughter is a piece of crap. My daughter and her husband have closed the cash register drawer. Go to work and earn your own money. Want to finish school? Take out student loans. She handed my daughter a list of what she wants for her birthday at the end of January. Her father snatched it and handed it right back to her and told her to have fun shopping. She knows better than to act up in my presence.

So I just keep plugging away each day and try to keep a positive outlook. All the swelling in her brain from the surgery has finally gone down after more than 18 months. And now they can see that what is left of the tumor is finally shrinking. My biggest worry is I know what the final prognosis is. Only five percent with this type of brain cancer live beyond two years and even less more than five years. Come February, it will be determined after her MRI as to whether she will remain on chemo for the rest of her life or come off it.

So now you know why I put an angel at the end of every post I make. It is for her. One can never have too many angels looking down on them and protecting them. And you will notice that a lot of folks here in the forum post one also. To them, I give an eternal Thanks.
How terrible for both you and your daughter. Prayers and healing thoughts on the way.
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