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Old 09-16-2014, 06:18 PM   #3441
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try to get a copy of the recording, joanne. you never know if or when it might be needed again, if nothing more than to prove a point.

more evidence that bullies aren't too bright. in photo class?
I talked to my grandson's mom today about the film and she is getting a copy made. Good idea. Thanks.
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Old 09-17-2014, 04:05 PM   #3442
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Ya know, if it weren't for the bullies, I might be more self assured. But, that being said, being bullied as a very small for my age child, inspired me to leave my home town at 18 years of age and find out who I was. I found that I still attracted bullies, got into judo, and found my first real successes. Those bullies helped me find strengths of character that I didn't know I possessed.

Bullies are a problem, and will probably never go away. But the paths we choose in life, the choices, can make all the difference in who we end up being. A person can withdraw, and let bullies rule them, and their lives, or do something to strengthen themselves against the harsh people of the world.

Being bullied also helped me to know that I need to treat people well, and gave me both sympathy, and empathy for the plight of others.

The lesson here is that we need to teach and build our children so that they learn coping strategies in life, and become sensitive to other people's welfare and happiness.

Of course when bullying happens, we need to make the bully accountable for his/her actions, through whatever legal means is available, be it teachers, school officials, parents, or even the police. I think the described situation worked out well for the victim, and may teach the bully something too, I hope.

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
I do so agree with this. Sadly, when I was teaching the school of thought prevalent in the UK was that the bully must be treated kindly because s/he is in some way suffering. Punishment for bullying was wrong and the perpetrators had to have kindness and counselling. The poor child who'd been on the receiving end of the bullying was swept under the carpet and ignored!

I don't usually believe in physical punishment but when I was at school one of the boys was caught out in long term bullying of a younger girl. The Headmaster stood no messing. The bully was caned. He didn't do it again. I should add that in the 8 years I was a pupil in that school only 3 pupils were subjected to corporal punishment - the bully and two boys who were caught stealing. The latter pair were given the choice - the cane or the police. They chose the former and grew up to be upright citizens.

Our Headmaster was not a thug but the school ran on the principle of "making the punishment fit the crime" and justice being seen to be done - people who were serial litter louts were given a detention which involved helping the janitor sweep the corridors after school, people who were rude got a detention writing an essay on good manners, you didn't hand in your homework you got to do it in detention, you were caught writing on your desk you had to scrub it clean during your lunch break. The point being that people, both the sinners and the sinned against, saw the consequences of misbehaviour.

Corporal punishment is no longer allowed in British schools which is a good thing on the whole as in some schools it was often done for very trivial transgressions but there has to be a happy medium between beating and effectively rewarding bullies for their bullying.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:00 PM   #3443
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Originally Posted by Chief Longwind Of The North View Post
Ya know, if it weren't for the bullies, I might be more self assured. But, that being said, being bullied as a very small for my age child, inspired me to leave my home town at 18 years of age and find out who I was. I found that I still attracted bullies, got into judo, and found my first real successes. Those bullies helped me find strengths of character that I didn't know I possessed.

Bullies are a problem, and will probably never go away. But the paths we choose in life, the choices, can make all the difference in who we end up being. A person can withdraw, and let bullies rule them, and their lives, or do something to strengthen themselves against the harsh people of the world.

Being bullied also helped me to know that I need to treat people well, and gave me both sympathy, and empathy for the plight of others.

The lesson here is that we need to teach and build our children so that they learn coping strategies in life, and become sensitive to other people's welfare and happiness.

Of course when bullying happens, we need to make the bully accountable for his/her actions, through whatever legal means is available, be it teachers, school officials, parents, or even the police. I think the described situation worked out well for the victim, and may teach the bully something too, I hope.

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
I totally commend you for lifting yourself up, but...

Bullying seems different now. Things have gone beyond simple cruelty. Social media seems to have changed how bullying happens. It takes mere seconds for bullies to spread lies about another. Bullies can stalk kids very easily now. I'm not wording this the way I want to, but bullying is different from when I was in school just 21 years ago.
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:24 PM   #3444
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I was hit once at school and more times than I can count at home. My husband never hit his kids and neither did I. They were my step children, but I raised them from very young. I only hit 1 person in my life and I was young myself when I did it, but the guilt from it still follows me. There is nothing to be solved from hitting IMO.

The cyber bullying today is very out of hand. Children have died over it. It's so easy to be mean to someone when it's online and you are not face to face with the person. It is the coward's way to handle things, and others are afraid to speak up and say that it's wrong out of fear of being the next victim. What kind of kids are we raising? They are the future of our country. I'm glad I'm not going to be around for it!!
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Old 09-18-2014, 09:42 AM   #3445
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I was hit once at school and more times than I can count at home. My husband never hit his kids and neither did I. They were my step children, but I raised them from very young. I only hit 1 person in my life and I was young myself when I did it, but the guilt from it still follows me. There is nothing to be solved from hitting IMO.

The cyber bullying today is very out of hand. Children have died over it. It's so easy to be mean to someone when it's online and you are not face to face with the person. It is the coward's way to handle things, and others are afraid to speak up and say that it's wrong out of fear of being the next victim. What kind of kids are we raising? They are the future of our country. I'm glad I'm not going to be around for it!!
Those episodes make news because they're emotional and horrifying, but I don't think they're so common that the future of the country is at stake. There are much more dangerous issues to worry about in that regard.
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Old 09-18-2014, 09:50 AM   #3446
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Carol, I have to agree with you. Children of today are the future of our country. And if we let the bullies of today win, then they will be the leaders of tomorrow.
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Old 09-18-2014, 02:38 PM   #3447
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For me, it comes down to poor parenting. Bullies usually learn to bully from parents, or at the least by the inaction of parents when the bully misbehaves. There was a time when my eldest child, who at the time was 4 years old, was being bullied by an older child, who bullied all of the smaller kids in the neighborhood. We went to the child's parents and explained what was going on. The response was something like "Oh, you're wrong. My little Billy wouldn't do that." Nothing was done. We got very frustrated to the point that we told our son to pick up a plastic ball bat the next time that kid came around and wallup him. Unfortunately, our son picked up that plastic ball bat and and not only made a believer of the bully, but also found that he could intimidate other kids of his own age with said bat. We go a knock on the door one day from a neighbor who described what was going on. We had a serious talk with our son. Fortunately, that was all that it took. He changed his behavior and became the protector of other, smaller kids. He also turned into one of the most caring and big hearted people you will ever meet. I am proud of him as a man, as a husband to his wife, and as a father to his children. He always puts his needs after the needs of others.

We, as parents had made a mistake, out of frustration, and anger at a bad situation. But we corrected it as soon as we were made aware of the mistake. That made all the difference.

It's not hard to be resonsible, and it brings such rewards. I have a hard time understanding the desire to hurt others. It just makes no sense to me.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
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Old 09-18-2014, 03:18 PM   #3448
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Carol, I have to agree with you. Children of today are the future of our country. And if we let the bullies of today win, then they will be the leaders of tomorrow.
There is less tolerance and more awareness of bullying today than ever before. I don't think anyone advocates letting them "win."
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Old 09-19-2014, 08:20 AM   #3449
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Chief, I believe your son changed and became a protector because that was "the real him" all along. I guess the reason I mentioned cyber bullying because many people who would not say or do something mean in person find it very easy to do online, when they are either anonymous, or just not having to be face to face with that person. I know it's a big issue with teens on social media, but I also see it many times among adults on message boards. They will make nasty comments that they would never think of making to their neighbors, co-workers, or church members. In person they put on a facade.
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Old 09-19-2014, 09:27 AM   #3450
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Put on a facade or realize the other person is a real human being? It's much easier to remember that in real life.
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