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Old 10-20-2014, 10:02 AM   #3521
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Originally Posted by Addie View Post
The standard answer to that is "Don't tell me what to do!" It tends to bring folks up short and think before they ever say it again.
I frequently invite people, usually strangers to have a nice day. Though I add the qualifier - I hope.." you have a nice day. I sincerely hope they do have a great day, and if it's not going so well, I add - "I hope it gets better, and tell them a particular quick joke that always brings a smile. Getting them to smile is the start of the day getting better for them.

With my kids, as they were growing up, occasionally, one of them would be sulking. I'd walk up to them and try to find out what was wrong. Often, even usually, it would be something inconsequential, and they were just in the mood to stew about it. I would say to them - Don't let me catch you smiling. Don't smile. Ah, I thought I caught you starting to smile. Don't you dare smile." By then they would burst out laughing, and the foul mood would be instantaneously gone. They would then complain that they hated that I could make them laugh so easily. But it would change their mood and allow them to have a good outlook for the remainder of the day.

I agree, if it is an insincere phrase - have a good day, that could be annoying. But when it is given from the heart, you almost can't help but be thankful that there are good people around who really care about others, to the point that they don't want to see someone having a bad day.

Usually, when a person can be made to smile, and they get rid of the bad mood that's taken over their day, they are thankful to have turned around their mood. I've even had people come back and thank me for making their day a bit brighter.

If we all tried to make each other's lives a little better, this world could be such a great place to live in.

That's from the POV of an eternal optimist, me.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
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Old 10-20-2014, 10:21 AM   #3522
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Originally Posted by Addie View Post
The standard answer to that is "Don't tell me what to do!" It tends to bring folks up short and think before they ever say it again.
Standard? I don't most people take it as a commandment. Coming from an ostensibly sweet old lady such as yourself, I'm sure it's quite a shock, though.
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:18 AM   #3523
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Originally Posted by GotGarlic View Post
Standard? I don't most people take it as a commandment. Coming from an ostensibly sweet old lady such as yourself, I'm sure it's quite a shock, though.
As a rule, I am always in a good mood. I have a saying, "If you someone without a smile, give them yours." And I do. When I run up to CVS or Rite-Aid, there is always this old man sitting on his stoop with his walker beside him. I used to just pass him by. Now I stop and give him a big smile and a good morning to go with it. Sometimes I will even stop and talk to him. Once on the way back I stopped at Dunkin Donut and got him a large coffee with the cream and sugar on the side. I had to wait until his fixed his coffee. It had been years since anyone bought one for him. And he missed it. One day he informed me that he looks forward to my whizzing up the street on my scooter.

He used to have a dog, but his son thought it was too much for him to take care of. So his son took the dog away. My heart broke after hearing that. He misses his dog. I still don't know his name. Probably never will. But I enjoy his company. And when I see him, I know that if it wasn't for my scooter, that could be me. Sitting outside waiting for someone to talk to.

After my little chats with him, I am in an even better mood. But when I am not, which is very rarely, leave me alone. It is my bad mood and I want to keep it for the day. I will get over it in time. All you have to do is leave me alone. There are many times when I see someone in the same nasty mood, I just leave them alone. But I do try to discern if it is just a bad mood or depression. Depression is another story and requires a different response.
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:25 AM   #3524
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I'm guilty of commanding people to "Have a nice day!"

I have never thought of it as being anything other than polite.

What should a person say?
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:25 AM   #3525
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Originally Posted by Mad Cook View Post
I'm at home today, nursing a "war wound". Our horses (geldings and mares) live in an "American barn" set-up, with loose boxes, each with its own gate, on either side of an aisle. The doors don't have grills above them so the horses can look out to see what's going on and the loose boxes have windows to see outside onto the yard.

One of the loose boxes is occupied by a Welsh Section D cob, who shows at high levels. He's a stallion so can only go out to pasture once a week when there's an empty field. He gets no other exercise. He doesn't even go on the horsewalker. When the mares in the barn are in season or an "interesting" mare is passing outside across the yard he goes absolutely crazy and throws himself round his loose box kicking, rearing, screaming and snorting and recently got one of his legs stuck over the loosebox gate. He is also fed enormous amounts and is, not to put it too finely, seriously obese. He kicks his door incessantly to get attention but when anyone goes near he is in such a state that he tries to bite them.

He got me on Saturday. I was pushing the wheel barrow past his loose box
and thought I was well out of his range but he lunged over his door and bit my shoulder and wouldn't let go. He was off his front feet, leaning over the door and hanging on to my shoulder with a fair bit of his weight. Eventually my screams brought others running and he let go. I had a thick winter fleece and a woollen jumper on but he still left deep teeth marks on my shoulder which bled copiously. I reported the incident to the Yard Manageress who gave me the "Yeah, yeah" look until I showed her the damage at which she went quite pale and got out the accident book! She then telephoned the owners.

One of my rescuers is a Sister (senior nurse-in-charge) in the Accident and Emergency Unit at a big Manchester hospital and insisted on cleaning and dressing my wound after I'd spoken to the YM. No way was I going to sit in A&E at the hospital all afternoon!

A couple of inches over and he'd have got my neck and possibly I might not have been here today! And if he'd grabbed a child's shoulder or head I dread to think what the damage might have been.
We give shots to dogs in the event a person gets bitten and the dog may be rabid. Is there such a concern regarding horse bites?
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:36 AM   #3526
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That sounds just awful, Mad Cook! So sorry it happened to you.
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:51 AM   #3527
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chief Longwind Of The North View Post
I frequently invite people, usually strangers to have a nice day. Though I add the qualifier - I hope.." you have a nice day. I sincerely hope they do have a great day, and if it's not going so well, I add - "I hope it gets better, and tell them a particular quick joke that always brings a smile. Getting them to smile is the start of the day getting better for them.

With my kids, as they were growing up, occasionally, one of them would be sulking. I'd walk up to them and try to find out what was wrong. Often, even usually, it would be something inconsequential, and they were just in the mood to stew about it. I would say to them - Don't let me catch you smiling. Don't smile. Ah, I thought I caught you starting to smile. Don't you dare smile." By then they would burst out laughing, and the foul mood would be instantaneously gone. They would then complain that they hated that I could make them laugh so easily. But it would change their mood and allow them to have a good outlook for the remainder of the day.

I agree, if it is an insincere phrase - have a good day, that could be annoying. But when it is given from the heart, you almost can't help but be thankful that there are good people around who really care about others, to the point that they don't want to see someone having a bad day.

Usually, when a person can be made to smile, and they get rid of the bad mood that's taken over their day, they are thankful to have turned around their mood. I've even had people come back and thank me for making their day a bit brighter.

If we all tried to make each other's lives a little better, this world could be such a great place to live in.

That's from the POV of an eternal optimist, me.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
Talking about smiles, there was someone speaking on the radio yesterday about a British Army Officer, Jack Churchill aka "Mad Jack - Last man to kill an enemy in battle with a bow and arrow (in 1940!) - you must read his Wikipaedia entry, it's an absolute hoot.

Apparently he said he smiled in battle because "people are less likely to shoot at you if you smile at them"

Read these, you will be convinced (if you weren't already) that the English are quite, quite mad!

Jack Churchill - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
and
Warfare History Network » “Mad Jack” Churchill—A Rare Breed of Warrior
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:52 AM   #3528
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunt Bea View Post
I'm guilty of commanding people to "Have a nice day!"

I have never thought of it as being anything other than polite.

What should a person say?
I find "Good morning" with a quick smile can produce wonders.
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:58 AM   #3529
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Originally Posted by Addie View Post
We give shots to dogs in the event a person gets bitten and the dog may be rabid. Is there such a concern regarding horse bites?

lol, i first thought you meant giving the shot to the dog or horse, as in euthanasia.

then i read it again, lol.
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:02 PM   #3530
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunt Bea View Post
I'm guilty of commanding people to "Have a nice day!"

I have never thought of it as being anything other than polite.

What should a person say?
I agree, I was told once by a customer, "Don't tell me what kind of day to have." It crushed me for the rest of the day.
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