Petty Vents

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I keep trying to teach my mom how to use a cell phone, she refuses. She thinks the lifeline neck thing is stupid and refuses to even think about it. Totally computer illiterate. ARGHH!

Thanks :angel:

Have you looked into one of those Jitterbug phones? They are supposed to be extremely simple to use and are made for seniors. Don't have the bells and whistles regular cell phones do and have BIG #s so they are easy to see.
 
We got my mother one of those lifeline devices. She kept it for two months and then cancelled the contract (my father didn't like it). That was three years ago. I love the medication alarm! I am going to order one and have it sent to their house (schedule it to arrive when I'm doing my rotation of eldercare in August). My father is complaining about having to do all the things my mom used to do...cooking, groceries, balancing the chequebook. She still does the laundry. Slowly, he's coming to realize that it isn't going to get easier, it will get harder. He may revisit his refusal to do Meals on Wheels if he has to keep cooking...
 
We got my mother one of those lifeline devices. She kept it for two months and then cancelled the contract (my father didn't like it). That was three years ago. I love the medication alarm! I am going to order one and have it sent to their house (schedule it to arrive when I'm doing my rotation of eldercare in August). My father is complaining about having to do all the things my mom used to do...cooking, groceries, balancing the chequebook. She still does the laundry. Slowly, he's coming to realize that it isn't going to get easier, it will get harder. He may revisit his refusal to do Meals on Wheels if he has to keep cooking...

It's important that he sees these as tools to use, not charity or "babysitting"...he is much more likely to use them. I know he really hates the idea of Meals on Wheels, but it's a tool for HIS convenience.

I'm glad I remembered the Med Clock. Here is a link to other catalogs: Activities of Daily Living Products: All Types / Family Village
 
I know it is frustrating. I went through the same thing with my Mom this past fall/winter. It was hard being 500+ miles away and my Sister lives in the same town and see's my Mom at least once a week. Mom just didn't want to tell anyone was was going on. It was by luck that we found out abut things.

We had to start looking at it like taking care of a child. Yelling doesn't help, as much as it makes us feel better, and talking reason is a 50/50 proposition.

We started "double teaming" her after her surgery.. are you doing this? Did you take that. Asking lots of questions and making sure she we WE were talking to each other and she wasn't going to get away with anything this time.

It took my Grandmother being arrested for reckless driving before we found out how bad she was. And her daughters (Mom and my Aunts) saw her on a weekly basis. Turns out grandma knew how to get to work, the gas station and the grocery store, she couldn't get across town to renew her drivers license or car plates. She had also forgotten how to pay bills, all the envelopes had checks in them, addressed and stamped, but she couldn't find the outgoing mailbox.
 
Yikes! That is so sad. My mom has all her marbles, but is so feeble. I told her to get in her car and drive to her mailbox (about 20 feet from the garage) in the winter to pick up her mail, rather than risk her walking to it and having another fall. I have offered the Jitterbug, she refuses. Will look into getting her new phone landlines, as the problem was with landlines not working and not being able to get ahold of her.

Blessings to all of you who work with the elderly! Sucks getting old!
 
My mom had dementia it came on slowly but it was so hard to not get angry with the constatnt repeating of asking a question, the calling on the phone for me and leaving the same message over andover. She missed my dad so much they were so close and as one that she became dazed with missing him. I miss them both so much but I know they are together and the love is still going strong.Bless all of you who are dealing with parents who are slipping, enjoy the time you have left with them knowing you
kadesma
 
Dementia is a thief, it steals memories, it steals our parents from us and worst of all it steals us from them. We get angry, because it scares us and we wonder if it will happen to us.

I hate seeing what it does to families. But, I love my job and I can't imagine doing anything else.
 
Princess I agree not only have I had to deal with it with my great-grandpa plus with working as a CNA for awhile. So I pray for all those who deal with this.
 
Dementia is a thief, it steals memories, it steals our parents from us and worst of all it steals us from them. We get angry, because it scares us and we wonder if it will happen to us.

I hate seeing what it does to families. But, I love my job and I can't imagine doing anything else.
It is a thief. My grandfather fell to it the night my grandmother passed. He just shut down and got worse till he passed as well. It was so scary to see him just change before my eyes. Then mama got it at 88 and never rgained her right mind. Will it happen to me as well? The thought terrifies me. But with all the other things I have to endure I guess I should not let it bother me, but it does.
kadesl
 
First of all, I bought a Jitterbug for my parents, and it is easy to use. Second, my dad was that man who complained about having to do some household chores when my mom was unable. He even gave away some of her pots and pans saying that she would never use them again. Mom was of sound mind, and for that I am thankful, but my dad drove her crazy sometimes! Anyway, Mom passed away in December of last year and Dad realizes (too late) that he didn't appreciate what he had until she was gone. It is really sad. He is a lonely, angry old man. I hope he gets better.
 
he will, chopper. while the world may seem cold; faith is a way to reconcile those things. whether anyone believes anything or not, it's a natural thing to want and it certainly helps.

my mil had dementia. it made the last 20 years really tough, mostly for dw. it has affected our entire lives even 7 years past.

but they were better than not having her here with us.
 
Chopper, my heart goes out to you. In fact, he may never realize what a gem he had. Looking at my in-laws, I don't think my FIL ever appreciated how much my MIL did for him, and I think he was actually peeved at her for getting sick. On the other hand, when Mom got sick, Dad learned to be grateful for all he'd been given over the years. So you never know.
 
Right now I feel like a failure as a mom. And I am married, but they my kids so he feels it not his place to do anything. 2 of my kids have been getting up middle of night or b4 I do at least getting into food. It'd been every other day. Im getting into a depression state cause I've displined them in every way (extra chores, no TV, no playing outside) they still do it. I don't know what else to do.
 
Right now I feel like a failure as a mom. And I am married, but they my kids so he feels it not his place to do anything. 2 of my kids have been getting up middle of night or b4 I do at least getting into food. It'd been every other day. Im getting into a depression state cause I've displined them in every way (extra chores, no TV, no playing outside) they still do it. I don't know what else to do.
if thry were mine Id'tell them that from now on it's eat before bed a small snack and that's it. If they do this again I'd not buy any godies they like and continued sneaking for will result in their having to pay for it I know kids have botttomless pits but there is no reason to do this. Are they afraind of not getting their share? I'd really impress on them that they are really stealing and we dont do this in our home we sharee.If they are like mine it will stop in time you just have to be on them all the time. I wish you the best/
kadesma
 
Right now I feel like a failure as a mom. And I am married, but they my kids so he feels it not his place to do anything. 2 of my kids have been getting up middle of night or b4 I do at least getting into food. It'd been every other day. Im getting into a depression state cause I've displined them in every way (extra chores, no TV, no playing outside) they still do it. I don't know what else to do.

if thry were mine Id'tell them that from now on it's eat before bed a small snack and that's it. If they do this again I'd not buy any godies they like and continued sneaking for will result in their having to pay for it I know kids have botttomless pits but there is no reason to do this. Are they afraind of not getting their share? I'd really impress on them that they are really stealing and we dont do this in our home we sharee.If they are like mine it will stop in time you just have to be on them all the time. I wish you the best/
kadesma
How old are your kids?

It kind of sounds like a control issue. Maybe if you had one shelf/bin in the pantry and/or refrigerator that had "free" foods that the kids are welcomed to eat from whenever they want, the sneaking food will stop. My daughter did this (not for the same reason) and kept healthy snacks, including raw vegetables and fruit, and now and then she would put a special treat (candy, etc.) in there.
 
Well my kids are 3 & 4. I do healthly snacks for my oldest is ADHD. I do 3 meals a day and 2 snacks.
The children need to understand, food is NOT free andneeds to be accounted for.
kadesma
 
Ya I talked to them about it asked them if they knew what stealing meant & what happens to ppl that steal. They could answer the questions plus told me that they should be asking for it. Even told them they will have 3 meals a day& at least 2 snacks a day (before bed) but they will be punished every time. And til they understand & stop they wont get any homemade bake goods or any other goodies to eat til they stop!
 
Maybe I don't clearly understand the situation, but why is it a bad thing that your kids are getting food for themselves? Are they eating crap? Are they leaving a mess? Is it causing financial distress?

Food is NOT something to create issues of power and control around. Kids have so many things they don't control that often food becomes the one thing they CAN control. This can lead to lots of unhealthy things.

Barbara has made an excellent suggestion in having a shelf or two of "free" food. Kids need to have limits, yes, but if they are hungry they need to eat. 3 meals and 2 snack would not have been CLOSE to enough for my kids. Madeleine would take recess snacks to school and come home for lunch and after school crying because she was so hungry. She just needed to "graze" all day to manage.

I know we don't necessarily have the same ideas about things, so please don't be offended by my questions, I'm merely trying to understand. How is a young child getting food out of their home's pantry "stealing"? If they are hungry, and you aren't up to feed them, then isn't it something praiseworthy that they are independent enough to feed themselves?
 
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