Petty Vents

[Dawgluver]

Ya I talked to them about it asked them if they knew what stealing meant & what happens to ppl that steal. They could answer the questions plus told me that they should be asking for it. Even told them they will have 3 meals a day& at least 2 snacks a day (before bed) but they will be punished every time. And til they understand & stop they wont get any homemade bake goods or any other goodies to eat til they stop!

They are pretty young. They aren't going to understand a long lecture or punishment. Have you tried some positives? A sticker chart on the fridge, earning points for a reward? Like whoever stays in bed the longest gets a treat/toy/privilege. Praise when they do something they should. Lock up the stuff they shouldn't get in to. Your pediatrician might have some other ideas. They might be missing something in their diet.

 

[CWS4322]

Maybe we need two new venting forums--dealing with kids, and the other, caring for ageing parents...

 

[chopper]

Thanks for your kind words BuckyTom and Claire. Aging parents are tough, but it is even tougher when they are gone. I sure miss my mom!

 

[CWS4322]

Thanks for your kind words BuckyTom and Claire. Aging parents are tough, but it is even tougher when they are gone. I sure miss my mom!

Aww...sorry. I miss my mom--she's not physically gone, but she's not my mom anymore...I know it will be harder when she is actually physically gone...We only have one mom. We can have more than one spouse, but we can't ever go out and find another mom...or dad.

 

[CWS4322]

Stubbs--I'm not a parent, so take this with a grain of salt. But I would definiitely talk with their doctor. My biological clock wakes me at 4:00 a.m. almost every day. I'm not hungry, but I'm wide awake. I've been this way my whole life. I drove my parents crazy--I sometimes would play quietly in my room--but I was on high alert when others got up. I still am. I drive my DH crazy.

Maybe trying to shift their sleep schedule would help (the old you set the alarm for an hour before they wake up, get them up, give them a snack, put them back to bed--you didn't say if they sleep in the same room--if they do, maybe separate them), and move that time forward in 5-10 minute increments over several weeks (so do it for 3-4 days, change the time). This is what we've done when housebreaking puppies that wake up at 4:00 a.m. I know, kids aren't puppies, but a consistent routine and waking them instead of letting them determine when they get up might help. I'm guessing there is a reason they are waking up at that hour and that changing the schedule of when they eat, what they eat at each meal, and when they go to bed might be in order. A specialist probably would be the best person to consult. Maybe they need "sleep inducing" foods later in the day...

 

[Stubbs]

Dif ppl have their own options about things. And its all about not asking... I have no problem with feeding my kids if they are hungry but what you dnt understand is one of my kids no matter how much he eats he says he hungry he can just have 2 servings of food at dinner still say he is hungry.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

The waking them up to eat and back to bed mentioned above is work, but it would work...resetting their body clocks is what needs to be done. Also, many kids benefit from many small meals throughout the day.

 

[Stubbs]

All im saying is it strange they nev really have woke up like this. Now all of a sudden they do. I know our life about to change husband got a new job to where he will be traveling

 

[CWS4322]

Stubbs--that would have me talking with their doctor--that this is new behaviour. It may be that the waking up at 4:00 a.m. hungry is unrelated. It may be that they answer that they are hungry (they are very young) is a patterned response to a question posed, but may not be true.

Your kids' doctor is probably your better bet to arrive at a workable solution to this behaviour than any of us here can offer. Please contact their doctor and discuss this so that you can figure out an approach to resolve this issue. They may well outgrow it, but you may go insane before that happens. Good luck.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Stubbs--that would have me talking with their doctor--that this is new behaviour. It may be that the waking up at 4:00 a.m. hungry is unrelated. It may be that they answer that they are hungry (they are very young) is a patterned response to a question posed, but may not be true.

Your kids' doctor is probably your better bet to arrive at a workable solution to this behaviour than any of us here can offer. Please contact their doctor and discuss this so that you can figure out an approach to resolve this issue. They may well outgrow it, but you may go insane before that happens. Good luck.

Considering you are proficient with puppies and hens and I am good with Geriatrics and kittens...we probably aren't the best people to answer this question

 

[medtran49]

My cousin has a child also who will eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and still say he is hungry, is morbidly obese because of his eating, and also has ADHD, as well as other issues, including obsessive-compulsive disorder, although he is able to function normally when he wants something. He was a preemie that at the time he was born was on the border of where the docs are able to keep them alive. His issues have gotten worse and worse as he has gotten older, to the point that as a young teen my cousin was unable to handle him, violence was even threatened. He needs an extremely structured environment and has had to be placed in a facility dealing with teens with eating disorders, behavioral problems, etc. He came home for a few years, did really well at first, but has recently been placed back in such a facility. Frankly, I don't know what she is going to do because he will be 18 soon.

I write this not to frighten you but to reinforce the advice given to you regarding talking to your doctor. My cousin and my aunt, mostly my aunt, his grandmother, kept saying for years it's just a phase, he'll grow out of it, he's just being a boy, etc. Well, he didn't grow out of it and it's only gotten worse. Please take them to see their doctor.

With the above said though, my grand-daughters are 4 and 8. For the last few years, the 8-year-old has been going thru periods where she can eat third helpings and be hungry again shortly after. This will go on for several weeks and then taper off for a few months, then start again. She's tall for her age and has a good body weight for her height. One of those cycles is just ending. When I was there about a month ago, she was eating everything she could get her hands on (and getting up in the middle of the night and eating - driving her mother nuts), yet when I went this past weekend, she is nearly back to eating normal amounts. It's obviously a growth phase she is going thru so please consider that as well.

A month ago when I was there, I talked to her about eating in the middle of the night because it was driving her mother and father nuts since she was taking food in her bedroom and leaving wrappers, crumbs, etc that were drawing bugs (South Florida too just several hours away from us). She was defensive at first because her mother and father had been fussing at her so much and punishing her over it. Once I got her to realize I wasn't going to fuss at her, she told me she couldn't help it, that she'd wake up so hungry she couldn't go back to sleep and she just had to have something to eat. The younger one would usually wake up and tag along on the kitchen raids too.

So, please take the kids to the doctor and find out if there is a problem before fussing at them or punishing them.

 

[Stubbs]

Problem is my youngest boy is the one that concerns me with the food for he always wants food no matter how much food he gets he wants more & more I've talked to the doctor bout that wad b4 they started to do this in middle of night. All she said was it might be he eating too fast or needs more fatty foods

 

[Stubbs]

So you telling me I shouldn't say anything let em do it

 

[medtran49]

That young, yes I would, although I'd provide a special shelf or one of the bottom drawers they can take from like was suggested earlier. Is the youngest eating a balanced diet or is he like some kids that age that will only eat certain things?

 

[Stubbs]

I have to do the balanced diet my oldest is on special diet he is ADHD. And I don't knw wht to do for my husband thinks they need to sit in room til they stop. And it gonna be a fight.

 

[Stubbs]

And it always the foods they not allowed to have like chocolate tht they get into

 

[Claire]

Right now I feel like a failure as a mom. And I am married, but they my kids so he feels it not his place to do anything. 2 of my kids have been getting up middle of night or b4 I do at least getting into food. It'd been every other day. Im getting into a depression state cause I've displined them in every way (extra chores, no TV, no playing outside) they still do it. I don't know what else to do.

Stubbs, is the food they are getting into junk food or real, nutritious food? If it is the former, then just do not buy it for awhile. If it is the latter, then make a nutritious snack for them a half hour or so before bed. But the fact is that kids can be insomniacs (I was one) and stay in bed and read a book.

 

[Claire]

Oh, dear, some other answers appeared just before mine. Seriously, can't you and your husband do without chocolate for a few weeks to help break the pattern?

 

[medtran49]

A child that young is responding to what his body is telling him. He's not doing it to be a thorn in your side or to cause trouble. You and your husband need to understand that. He's obviously either not getting enough to eat or not enough of the right kind of food (i.e. fatty as your doc suggested).

I know it's hard when you have to deal with it on a day-to-day basis as my daughter and her husband have shown but when you're a grandparent and can take a step back and look at the issue from a different point and, more importantly, talk to the child without them being defensive from being fussed at and/or punished you sometimes find out more. After I talked to my granddaughter and then with my daughter, they worked out a compromise that when she's hungry at night, she's allowed certain foods and is to sit at the kitchen table long enough to eat and then go straight back to bed. If she gets caught playing or having food in her room, she understands she will be punished. And if she wakes her sister up, she's responsible for getting her back to bed too unless she absolutely won't cooperate and then she's to go wake up mom.

Even at 3 and 4, yours should be old enough to be told you can have food from this box or this drawer but nothing else. Short of locking up the fridge and pantry, there's not much else you can do. If you continue to punish them over food that one or both of them obviously needs, that will spill over and cause other issues.

ETA: If they are eating "forbidden" things like chocolate, either don't buy it like Claire wrote or put it up where they can't reach it, or keep it in a plastic bag or box in your bedroom.

 

[CWS4322]

Stubbs--I work weird hours (4 a.m. to about 1:30 p.m.). I eat protein for breakfast (a couple of hard boiled eggs fill me up). Maybe mixing up the evening snacks to include protein--deviled eggs, hardboiled eggs, egg on toast, as the bedtime snack would be helpful? Quinoa is another food that fills me up. It is gluten free but an excellent source of vegetable protein and amino acids. I don't have a problem switching my sleep hours, but my "belly" has had a real problem adjusting to the change in the time of day that I'm actually up and working.

Can your doctor refer you to a dietician/nutritionist? Maybe a dietician/nutritionist can help you determine what foods might help fill your son up? I assume there is no other medical condition that makes him hungry all the time?