Petty Vents

[taxlady]

I don't get a gift at all. Come to think of it neither does Hubby. My brother always gets a turkey so for thanksgiving he always provides the turkey and lets my sister make it.

I once worked a place where the Xmas bonus was $25 towards a turkey or give the money to a charity. Almost all the other employees let the money go to a charity. If I want to give to a charity, I will choose the charity and get my tax receipt, thank you very much. I said I would take the $25. I was told to bring a receipt and that yes, a goose and some booze would be okay.

 

[chopper]

I once worked a place where the Xmas bonus was $25 towards a turkey or give the money to a charity. Almost all the other employees let the money go to a charity. If I want to give to a charity, I will choose the charity and get my tax receipt, thank you very much. I said I would take the $25. I was told to bring a receipt and that yes, a goose and some booze would be okay.

I prefer to pick my own charities too. I think I would have taken the 25 dollars like you did.

 

[Andy M.]

Actually, I think this is too big for petty vents but...
A friend of mine works for a very large furniture company here in the states. Don't know if I can say the name here so...begins with an A (3 letter word, it is what charcoal turns into after its burned) ends in LEY. Every year around this time they give their employees a gift certificate worth $15.00, good for a turkey or something. The problem is that they then take the $15.00 back out of the employees paychecks. Unheard of. Unbelievable. A slap in the face. I was appalled! Sad. But True.

Technically speaking, the turkey is compensation and taxable. So what they should do is add the cost of the turkey ($15) to the paycheck so it is taxed then deduct it back out again. The only difference in the paycheck should be the taxes on the $15. If they did otherwise, it's immoral and possible illegal.

 

[taxlady]

Technically speaking, the turkey is compensation and taxable. So what they should do is add the cost of the turkey ($15) to the paycheck so it is taxed then deduct it back out again. The only difference in the paycheck should be the taxes on the $15. If they did otherwise, it's immoral and possible illegal.

Wow, that's mean. In Canada gifts are technically taxable, but the CRA (Canada Revenue Agency) has made an administrative decision that cash and near-cash gifts are taxable, but non-cash gifts can be be given to a total fair market value of up to $500 (including GST - federal Goods & Services Tax)/employee/year.

 

[Andy M.]

Wow, that's mean. In Canada gifts are technically taxable, but the CRA (Canada Revenue Agency) has made an administrative decision that cash and near-cash gifts are taxable, but non-cash gifts can be be given to a total fair market value of up to $500 (including GST - federal Goods & Services Tax)/employee/year.

That's a sensible approach. I really don't know the details of US tax laws. I just remember this happening where I worked once. Usually, you just went out to the parking lot and were handed a turkey off the back of a truck and put it in your car and went home.

 

[taxlady]

That's a sensible approach. I really don't know the details of US tax laws. I just remember this happening where I worked once. Usually, you just went out to the parking lot and were handed a turkey off the back of a truck and put it in your car and went home.

They figured the resentment of employers to the extra work would lead to a high level of non-compliance. And they figured out a level where the cost of pursuing it wouldn't be higher than the amount of tax collected. I don't think I'm explaining that well, but I think you get the idea.

 

[jessecar]

I just received the dumbest phone call from my daughter.

Her son , who lives downstairs called her.

"Ma, come here, quick!"

She rushed down the stairs as fast as she could.

"Come here Ma. Look at this. What do I do?"

It seems that my 30 something grandson had a bowel movement so long and large that it came above the waterline and was resting against the toilet seat.

Daughter calls me. "Ma what do we do?"

"Flush the toilet."

"Flush the toilet son."

Problem solved.

I just want it on record that this line of stupidity does not come from my side of the family. My kids never ceased to amaze me with their total lack of intelligence. Or they just want me to have a continued feeling of being needed. I am still sitting here shaking my head in disbelief. (I can hear you laughing!)

Thanks Addie for a giggle. Especially that last paragraph

 

[Addie]

Thanks Addie for a giggle. Especially that last paragraph

My daughter is in her mid 50's and never ceases to amaze me with her stupidity.

"Ma, I just cleaned off the top of the fridge. There is mail unopened from three years ago. What do I do with it?"

"Throw it away."

"Thanks Ma."

 

[Addie]

I just talked to SO. She's at work and heard the same traffic reports. Dinner will be late tonight unless things clear up.

So Andy, what time did SO finally get home. One fella said it took him more than an hour to go the distance that usually takes five minutes. I hope you had some kind loving words for her when she finally arrived.

My son worked last night at Worcester Memorial in the ER. He said there was a rush of minor injuries of bumper and rear end hits. What a nightmare. Did you see the pictures? Unbelievable!!! They couldnt get the ambulances through to Boston, so they took them to local and fringe hospitals.

My grandson will be working on the turnpike today and tonight at a toll booth. They will have extra booths open.

 

[Andy M.]

Addie, she didn't have a bad commute. She uses Rt. 128 and 3 North. She got home about a half hour later than usual.

 

[Addie]

Addie, she didn't have a bad commute. She uses Rt. 128 and 3 North. She got home about a half hour later than usual.

Very good. At least you didn't have one cranky person to deal with. I am glad she made it home safely.

 

[Andy M.]

Very good. At least you didn't have one cranky person to deal with. I am glad she made it home safely.

Don't assume too much. She usually come home a little cranky from the day's work and commute. It's gone about to minutes after she walks in the door.

 

[Addie]

Don't assume too much. She usually come home a little cranky from the day's work and commute. It's gone about to minutes after she walks in the door.

I am like that. Ten minutes, I am over whatever had me irritated.

 

[Chef Maloney]

They are just rude

So, let me get this straight, they force their employees to spend money on a gift certificate, as a what, punishment for yule? Do the employees at least get to decide which store they will be be forced to get the gift from or is that decided for them?

It is rude in the extreme isn't it? Actually the gift certificate was difficult to use as a lot of stores would not accept it. It was finally used at wal-mart but with difficulty, holding up the line, and a manager to assist with the transaction.
The amount of the gift certificate was deducted from the following paychecks of each employee. Some Gift! Why not be real 'HOT SHOTS' and give $100.00 then take that back later? Jimminy Geeze!!!
I feel that a company this size should give their employees something more. No respect or appreciation shown here at all. CHEAP EH?

 

[taxlady]

It's raining. I think that is why the door to the underground garage won't open. The little light on my remote comes on. I took the battery out and tested it. It's fine. I want to go to the store. I can't get my car out. One condo rep is on vacation, the other one isn't home. Sigh

 

[Kylie1969]

The heat! It is quite hot here today...I guess being only 6 days till Summer gives it the right

 

[taxlady]

It's raining. I think that is why the door to the underground garage won't open. The little light on my remote comes on. I took the battery out and tested it. It's fine. I want to go to the store. I can't get my car out. One condo rep is on vacation, the other one isn't home. Sigh

The condo member who used to be our handy man opened the garage door manually. So, I got a chance to buy potatoes and a skirt for the Danish Club Mortens Goose dinner tomorrow night.

 

[chopper]

The condo member who used to be our handy man opened the garage door manually. So, I got a chance to buy potatoes and a skirt for the Danish Club Mortens Goose dinner tomorrow night.

Wonderful! I'm glad you got to do your shopping.

 

[purple.alien.giraffe]

I was cooking a ham but was starting to feel really tired and was worried I'd accidentally fall asleep. I decided to take a nap in the living room so I could hear the timer go off. My husband, who was feeling wide awake, said he'd wake me if anything seemed off or if I slept through the timer. Me sleeping in the living room would keep my husband from getting too engrossed in working on the computer to watch for reasons to wake me. My dad had just finished making a jello dessert and was quietly doing things on his laptop. Napping seemed like the best option.

So here is what happens if you try to nap in the living room while Chief Longwind is around.

First, you state your intention of taking a nap and he doesn't hear it because he's focused on watching "Tullovision" (Jethro Tull online concert station). You just start falling asleep and he starts talking loudly, telling you about how great Jethro Tull is. OK, he was distracted and didn't hear you say you were going to take a nap.

"Dad, I'm trying to take a nap." Very calm and matter-of-fact this time around, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Oh, sorry."

You settle back and just start falling asleep and he starts loudly talking about how amazing Jethro Tull's guitarist is to watch.

"Dad. I'm trying to take a nap." This time you're mildly annoyed so say his name with emphasis to make sure you have his attention.

"Oh, well I didn't know that."

"I just told you about ten minutes ago!"

"Oh, I didn't hear you. I'll be quiet."

You take a deep breath, thinking about how if he didn't hear you then maybe he shouldn't have answered the first time so you'd have known to repeat yourself. You glance at the DH who grins and shrugs, then close your eyes and try to imagine a nice, peaceful place.

You just start to fall asleep and bang, crash, clang in the kitchen. DH is still on the couch with you.

"Dad! What are you doing? I'm trying to take a nap!" This time you're distinctly annoyed.

"I was just trying to do some cleanup in the kitchen." His voice sounds slightly wounded, like the little kid that just wants to help but knows he's making the task more difficult.

"How, by strapping metal bowls and pans to the feet of baby elephants and running them through the kitchen?" You think this but don't want to hurt his feelings or seem ungrateful for his effort so you don't say it. "It's late Dad. Thank you for trying to help but you should get some sleep."

"Yeah, I'll stop for tonight. I should get some sleep." He lays down on the chase in the living room and in seconds is out.

You breath a sigh of relief and begin working on falling asleep again. You begin to drift off. Beep beep beep beep.

Grrrr. "Daaad, why is your watch alarm beeping?"

"It's so I wake up to go fishing."

...

You can't even respond to that, in part because he's already asleep again, so you just take a couple of deep breaths, ignore the DH's quiet snickering, and try to fall asleep.

You're drifting, almost at the point of losing awareness of your surroundings. Beep beep beep beep.

"Dad. Your watch again." He shuts it off without even waking up. You don't bother saying anything else. You don't even bother with the deep breaths this time. He's asleep and his alarm shouldn't go off again.

You consider just giving up but your eye-lids are so very heavy. You finally reach sleep. You're just beyond awareness of your surroundings. Ding, ding, ding.

That would be the timer. The other sound is the audible laughter DH can no longer hold in.

You look over at Dad, sleeping so peacfully. "The fact that you make amazing eggrolls is why you won't be murdered in your sleep." You don't bother saying it, he won't hear you and DH will only laugh harder. Besides, you have a ham to take out of the oven so that half an hour from now you can finally go to bed.

 

[purple.alien.giraffe]

By the way, his eggrolls aren't the only reason we keep him around. He also makes darned good smoked turkeys and roasts. His beef jerky and sweet and sour chicken balls are pretty good too.