Rocklobster
Master Chef
I agree. Why should they be responsible for your husband's relationship with his father? Why didn't he keep in touch enough to know that this happened? Peace, Munky.
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Petty Vents
- Thread starter Alix
- Start date
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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
I agree. Why should they be responsible for your husband's relationship with his father? Why didn't he keep in touch enough to know that this happened? Peace, Munky.
Having a chance to plan sure helps! I hope it is just a mini vacation.
Chef Munky
Honey Badger
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2008
- Messages
- 2,841
I agree. Why should they be responsible for your husband's relationship with his father? Why didn't he keep in touch enough to know that this happened? Peace, Munky.
I understand the 2 way street. For safety reasons I can't answer that question entirely. My husbands job won't allow that. But I can say after they had a blow up my husband tried many times to contact them, through anyone. And directly. His dad blew him off every time.
He's very hurt that the sisters that he loves dearly treated him this way.
Little by little every time he'd try and keep in contact they to dissed him.
They took sides. Made the choices. We might have moved, but my husband has been working at the same place for well over 20 years.
Bolas De Fraile
Executive Chef
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2010
- Messages
- 3,191
Rock mate wait till the last moment and buy it.
CharlieD
Chef Extraordinaire
I am sorry Monky, but I do not understand this. I don't know. Sounds strage to me. How is it possible? I cannot imagine not beeng in contact with my parents so I cannot possibly put my self in your or your husband shoes. I call my parents if not every day, for sure every other day. Sorry. Very strange.
OP
OP
Charlie, you are very lucky. Not everyone has good relationships with their parents. That doesn't mean they don't love them, it just means being together, or talking is hard. My own personal experience is that although my Mom and I have always been close, since she was diagnosed with dementia she is not the person she used to be. There was a period of 8 months this year when we didn't speak because she was so nasty to me. I refuse to be treated badly and so refused to call her. Since that time, she has called to apologize and we have a tentative truce, but it is not the close relationship we once had. Cherish what you have Charlie, but know that not everyone is as blessed as you are.
Munky, I feel for you and your husband. That is very hard.
Rocklobster, I hope you don't spend too much time off work. I sort of like Bolas's idea though!
Kayelle
Chef Extraordinaire
Monkey, I'm sorry you and your husband are so hurt by this. Most problems are caused by a lack of communication with a family, it's sad really, because there always comes a day when it's too late. If your husband never expressed an interest in his father, how can it be assumed that the sisters would report "how Dad is doing" when the question wasn't asked? Perhaps they thought it best to not bring the subject up, and that's assuming your husband and his sisters had some kind of regular contact. I always say, the telephone rings both ways. Again, I'm sorry for his hurt, but sometimes outsiders can see the picture more clearly. I wish you and your husband peace, Monkey.
Rocklobster
Master Chef
I took that trip twice. Once for 2 and another for 13 years and am glad to be rid of it. I just want to finish off my career as a working stiff. I'm involved more than enough as a hourly paid manager. A bit of time off would be good. Its just too bad that they wouldn't close the place in the summer so I could enjoy the weather.
CharlieD
Chef Extraordinaire
I am not that lucky, believe me. i hate my father, that obusive son of a gun, the moment my mom is gone, may she live to be 180 and be healthy i would not have anything to do with him, well, I will still call see if he is still there. As a son I have responsibility. and believe me, though I love my mom, she drives me plenty crazy. But a s a good book says we have to respect and obey our parents and I intend to do so.
Ooh, losing jobs - not fun. I hope that Rocklobster and PattY1 find wonderful jobs very quickly, with an opportunity for a bit of time of if you want it.
Family, grrr. Chef Munky, I'm so sorry that your husband's sisters showed so little understanding. I would be loathe to judge them, because, for all I know, they thought they had good reasons.
My own family didn't tell me how ill my dad was before he died. They thought they were saving me from worry.
Family, grrr. Chef Munky, I'm so sorry that your husband's sisters showed so little understanding. I would be loathe to judge them, because, for all I know, they thought they had good reasons.
My own family didn't tell me how ill my dad was before he died. They thought they were saving me from worry.
I'm sitting here watching this all unfold, all of the valid reasons for calling and not calling family members when there is a death in the family. I have been within the storm with family members when these things happen. I've taken the phone call from the son who doesn't speak to his sister~~ This son had visited his Mother last on Mother's Day, she died two weeks later and it was Mother's Day again...I had to tell him his Mother died a year ago. Imagine the grief and anger I had to deal with at the time.
That being said, there is absolutely no reason on this earth, that illness and/or death of a parent can not be reported by the family members involved to those who are apart or in bad graces. This is a wound that will never heal. However, it could heal if there is some communication. I'm not saying there has to be a long drawn out conversation, a simple, "Mom died an hour ago." is all the information that needs to be passed. Denying a person their right to comfort an ill parent or grieve their death is not acceptable.
That being said, there is absolutely no reason on this earth, that illness and/or death of a parent can not be reported by the family members involved to those who are apart or in bad graces. This is a wound that will never heal. However, it could heal if there is some communication. I'm not saying there has to be a long drawn out conversation, a simple, "Mom died an hour ago." is all the information that needs to be passed. Denying a person their right to comfort an ill parent or grieve their death is not acceptable.
OP
OP
Amen Princess Fiona. And lets also remember what this venting thread is for. We don't have to agree with everyone, but lets allow everyone to vent freely. I don't think I'd be feeling any better for venting if I were in Munky's shoes. We can't understand everyone, so just accept, say "that sucks" or nothing at all and move on. Let's keep DC safe for everyone.
Well put. The thing I love about this thread is the fact that when I'm p.o.ed about something I can let it all out here and that feels so good.
What feels even better is that someone always comes back with at the least some sympathy or like when I was so frustrated with IE8, you came back with the solution (thanks again) that ended my frustration
.Barbara L
Traveling Welcome Wagon
Amen.
mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
I hate proposals - Part 3,217
Once again, at the end of the work day, I am waiting on a proposal to edit that I should have had first thing Monday morning. I am crazy busy with another sucky editing job (about 100 pages longer than promised) that I have to have done by Friday.
If this one goes like the others from the same source, it will not only be very late but also MUCH longer than expected. GRRRRRRRRR
Once again, at the end of the work day, I am waiting on a proposal to edit that I should have had first thing Monday morning. I am crazy busy with another sucky editing job (about 100 pages longer than promised) that I have to have done by Friday.
If this one goes like the others from the same source, it will not only be very late but also MUCH longer than expected. GRRRRRRRRR
Rocklobster
Master Chef
You are right. I shouldn't have judged. My apologies.
Roch
roadfix
Chef Extraordinaire
I'm ready to shoot my business landlord as I just found out this morning that the new pizzeria next door to us has been paying 30% less in rent for an identical 1,200 sq/ft space. I am pissed as hell. I found this out as I've been negotiating with the landlord for a rent reduction due to lack of business and for the fact that I felt our recent rent increases have been out of line when our last lease expired. I've been flushing money down the toilet the last 5 years of the 15 years or so I've been at this location. This ticks me off like there's no tomorrow.
I'm really ticked off with my boss. She has been neglecting work and responsibility. Now she is in a tizzy and is having a hard time getting anything done because of this. 
BTW, I'm self-employed.
BTW, I'm self-employed.
Thanks Fiona and Alix. What you said is so true. We can not put ourselves in another person's shoes and say we would do it differently. Munky, I have been and will continue to keep you, your DH AND his family in my thoughts and prayers.
babetoo
Chef Extraordinaire
has anyone noticed the good venting thread died a natural death? wonder what that says about us, as people.
