Planning For Our Final Destination

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Fisher's Mom

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Since we have had such a huge loss here at DC with Buck's passing, the topic of how our loved ones go on has been on everyone's mind. I was thinking this might be good for us to discuss things we can do to make it easier on those we leave behind when we go. If you've lost someone with or without a will, can you share your experiences handling the paperwork, etc., after they passed? Those that have a will, could you share with us your experiences with finding the right attorney, etc? Also, does anyone leave directions for what they want as far as a funeral or a cremation, etc?
 
My husband and I have Wills/Living Wills and have had for quite a few years. We have specific directions/instructions in them AND we have spoken in detail with each other about what we want/songs played/even parties to be had! If you don't drink you might not like my husband's ummmm......"service" :LOL:

My husband has very specific instructions that will probably cause his family to hate me, but, I have to go by his wishes.

Our account will be frozen even with these steps in place. My attorney can get me $10,000 for immediate expenses though.

I suggest going through an estate attorney (is that the right name for them?) and getting something in place. "You" won't be here to deal with it but it causes such turmoil in families when nothing is in place. Surely "you" don't want your family going through that.
 
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Leaving?? Who's leaving??? I'm not going anywhere;). Take a gander at my avatar...it's evidence that I've already been here for about 547 years. I see no reason to ever have to leave. I like it here.

However, in the unforseen event of my untimely demise, burn what's left after taking anything that anyone else can use, and scatter the rest in the wind in New Orleans....Lou knows the spot.
 
My parents pre-planned (and paid for the basics) for their funerals about 10 years ago. Caskets, plot, headstones,flowers,hymns, newspaper obituaries etc, were all decided upon. When my Dad passed away, not having to deal with that end of it made it much easier on the family. In Quebec, any bank account (including joint ones) are frozen until after probate. My Mother had no access to any funds, as all accounts were joint.

I have a will, including a living will. I have stated exactly what I want done when I die. The living will names an executor to look after my affairs should I become incapacitated.
 
I was the executor of my uncle's estate. He had a lawyer who drew up his will and the estate hired him to take care of the legal matters. It was a good decision. He was a great lawyer.

There were a lot of investments to transfer and sell at the right time. My uncle had stacks of bank books so I had to contact every bank to verify account info (they were almost all empty). I had to sell his car, house and furnishings. Dealings with a CPA to file tax returns.

Uncle left vebal instructions for his remains. I have prepared written instructions for mine.
 
Carrie does not like discussing the topic, at all. I, on the other hand, have been trying to figure it all out for some time. All i want to ensure is that when the inevitable DOES happen, I am not leaving any one high and dry. I plan to ensure that everything will be in place financially, and that family is taken care of. I know I want to be cremated and have some of my ashes shot into outer space and the rest scattered among my favorite places on this earth; Bermuda where I am from, Hawai'i where I loved, and perhaps Amsterdam, my other favorite place I have lived. that way, the fam can make a real journey out of things and have fun doing it in my memory. Of course, this means saving a lot of money now.


Either all that or I have always said, open casket, open bar.
 
There seems to be a great deal of misunderstanding here about wills.

Wills are primarily about who gets your property when you die. They are not really vehicles to avoid taxation. Dying intestate does not, as far as I know, obligate you to pay additional taxes. You pay estate taxes with or without a will - same amount.

If you die without a will, your state has a longstanding scheme in place to distribute assets. Generally a spouse comes first, then the children or parents, but states can be different on that (sometimes spouse and children both take, sometimes just the spouse). Then other blood or legal relatives.

Your estate is probated with or without a will. A court is always involved and generally so are lawyers. A will makes it faster and easier, but does not eliminate the court.

A will won't automatically transfer a car title either. It just directs ownership to someone. They may still have to hire a lawyer to get the clear title. Same with real estate.

If property is jointly owned, you should probably be able to continue to own it and access it, but again, state laws may be different on this.

Plenty of people don't need wills, though it's always a good idea to have one just in case.
 
Believe me when I second jenny's motion that state laws vary...........if you have anything of value at all.......a car, boat, old house..........it's taxable and worth something to the state........have a will or they get a huge chunk of it.......if you have stepsister, brothers, mothers, fathers then it gets even more confusing as to whom gets what and you don't really know people until someone passes away......truly trust me on this one..........so please be kind to your kinfolk and leave a will.........
 
Believe me when I second jenny's motion that state laws vary...........if you have anything of value at all.......a car, boat, old house..........it's taxable and worth something to the state........have a will or they get a huge chunk of it......

Sorry but this part isn't true.

Estate taxes are the same whether you die with or without a will.

You're right that it can be confusing regarding who gets what if you die without a will, but the general rule is 1. Spouse 2. Children or Parents 3. Brothers and Sisters

They must be blood or legal relatives.
 
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Although a will is not a vehecle to evade tax (illegal), forward planning can help you minimise taxes (legal) at least in Europe. By optimising tax free gift allowances etc etc. :)

But the reason I am emphatic about wills is because of the heart ache unnecessary wraggling and ugliness NOT having a will inevitably results in. People who love each other squabbling over every last stick of furniture, siblings who never speak to each other again because they disagreed about how to divide property proceeds etc etc. Grief seems to make people panic and fear for their security and feel unloved and vulnerable. By making it set in stone, precise and well thought out you can let people come to gether in grief rather than let them drive themselves apart.
 
Estate taxes are based on the monetary value of the estate's assets.

If your estate has a value of $10 million, the state and federal governments will take a share of that for taxes. Who gets what's left of the $10 million is determined by the will.
 
I would strongly advise that no one depart without leaving a Will. It can be as simple or as complex as you deem necessary, but don’t leave home without it! Dieing without a Will can be a can of worms, expensive, a possibly drawn out longer than needed! It is much easier, less complicated, and less expensive for the family if you have a Will.

You should appoint/nominate someone as the Executor of your estate…Wife, husband, son, or daughter, nearest living relative or anyone else of your choosing…You should also name a backup/secondary Executor if the first person is unwilling or unable to serve. You should waive all bond, inventory, and accounting to the Executor….They should be directed to pay all probated claims (bills), funeral expenses and any taxes due from the estate (Mostly real estate) after your death…Then you should leave all of your real and personal property to whomever you wish. Normally to your spouse, or to your children share and share alike…You can also insert here that if you have a child who has predeceased you, then their share of your estate will go to his heirs (spouse, children etc)
You should request that your executor honor any memoranda (Codicil) that you leave written in your own handwriting, signed, and dated on or after the date of the will. This will allow you at a future date to add a bequeath (give to) to someone…Example...I want my granddaughter Susie to have my hand quilted pink and blue blanket.. I want my niece Mary to have my Crystal punch bowl...etc. etc. etc. Write it in your own hand writing. Sign, and date it…Keep this and any other memoranda with your will.

Mostly just have a will…go to an attorney in your State/jurisdiction and tell them what you want. They can best advise you, and put everything in the proper legal form
 
dh and i have wills and living wills. He keeps me updated on the financial stuff, you would not believe the database he created for this, what a computer nerd!

Daddy was cremated 20 years ago, mom will be also. This is heavy on our minds because she can go any minute. There will be no service when mom dies, per her demand. Us kids will have our own service by the Rio Grande in New Mexico. Daddy always had a special feeling for Taos, where my sister lives, so their ashes will be laid there.
 
Yeah, what Uncle Bob said!

I found out a few years ago that although I did not know it, my upbringing came with a price tag. My dad dies when I was 23 (I'm a bunch beyond that now). My mom has contracted Alzheimer's and cannot make decisions for herself. Prior to this she did not give health care proxies to anyone. This is another point that thould be addressed. Since I am an only child, it is somewhat easier. It still feel svery funny. She went to the hospital the other night for bleeding (She's OK, just something minor) and they called me at 9:30 at night to ask if I wanted a DNR (Do Not Recessitate). It blew me away. There's lots to go with all this, since mom had remarried (He is deceased) and my step brother decided to do an identity theft on her, but that does not cover wills. Just making the point that health care proxies are also important.

Wills didtribute your property. I agree that estate taxes are not changes by wills, but, I have heard, no tverified, that if you do not have a will, then the state you lived in may cut themselves in for a share of any cash left.

Please take all the advixe in this thread and get a will / living will/ and a health care proxy.

Don't let your kids end up where I am. - AC
 
Please take all the advixe in this thread and get a will / living will/ and a health care proxy.

Don't let your kids end up where I am. - AC

You're right. Living Wills, Health Care Proxies and Powers of Attorney are all simple documents to execute and are IMO very important to have.

Wills didtribute your property. I agree that estate taxes are not changes by wills, but, I have heard, no tverified, that if you do not have a will, then the state you lived in may cut themselves in for a share of any cash left.

If you die without a will, the state designates an administrator for the estate. The administrator is paid from the proceeds of the estate. This is often the case with a will, though too (the executor often gets paid). The state can't just take your money.
 
This first paragraph here should calm any fears about Federal Estate taxes...Well for most of us anyway!


Estate Taxes - Resource Center



Jennyemma said:
This is often the case with a will, though too (the executor often gets paid).

You may state in your will a specified amount (most people do not) or you can allow the Executor to charge your estate any reasonable fees that he or she may sustain while carring out the duties as executor. Most family members "charge' nothing...unless it is a substantial amount.
 
Do you think do it yourself wills are any good ? I mean for people who don't have much to bequeath .
 
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My thinking is you need a Will regardless of the size of your estate. It can be very, very simple...Name an executor, and give all of your real and personal property to someone(s) Not sure what you mean by "do it yourself" but an attorney will do a simple Will very reasonably...It's worth the expense for it to be "right"
 
Do you think do it yourself wills are any good ? I mean for people who don't have much to bequeath .
nope......you may think that you don't have much but the state is going to say differently....get a lawyer.....

Uncle Bob, my hat is off to you.......thanks for the great adivice........please, y'all get a legal will in place.......it's the kindest most loving gesture that you can pass on to your spouse or significant other (if there is one) and your family members....... My family today is torn up by my greedy gritch sister......never would have thought in a million years,,,,,,,,,,but there you go...........had my father had a will it would have turned out so differently....
 
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