Planning For Our Final Destination

[buckytom]

wart, you would appreciate the sentiments in the movie "a razor's edge", during the first world war.

[Fisher's Mom]

Originally Posted by DramaQueen

I do agree with you that the fancy casket is a rip off and an incredible waste of money for the family. If you want me to have something fancy, give it to me now while I can enjoy it. I was astounded at the cost of the cardboard boxes that the funeral home uses for cremation. They range in price from 300.00 to 1800.00. The have to be cardboard so that they will burn quickly and completely. And the sad thing is that the family will never see this box so you don't even know if you are getting what you paid for.

I think it varies from state to state about the box. I went to the crematorium and witnessed my father's cremation. They had a special half box that was used. I'm not saying everyone should do this, but I somehow felt I needed to stand witness to this.

I wonder if any of you have heard about the casket and urn stores that are all over the net? We even have one with a storefront here. I think it's called Caskets+. Anyway, they advertise saying that they cut out the middleman. I haven't been in yet but I think I will choose and pay for my urn ahead of time so that will be one less choice for my kids and so I get a cheap one. Grief does weird things to people and I'm afraid they might get carried away and buy a gold-plated one. (On the other hand, I may end up in a Chock-Full-O-Nuts can!)

[Wart]

Originally Posted by buckytom

wart, you would appreciate the sentiments in the movie "a razor's edge", during the first world war.

That hadn't occurred to me.

I've watched the 1984 version of A Razor's Edge, the story and film made an impression. (I would like to see the '46 version).

The film that comes to my mind is All Quiet on the Western Front.

[Bigjim68]

I'm not sure how much difference there is in an $1500 urn from a funeral home and a $5.00 flea market find. I think that one point is that anything purchased from a funeral home under pressure and grief is going to cost way more than it would if prior planning was done.

[expatgirl]

Really and I mean this truly and I'm totally jet-lagged so forgive me if I misspell words or sound out of it but what I'd truly would like to happen is for my hubby and my ashes to be saved and it doesn't have to be in an expensive urn (and actually I prefer the Chock Full of Nuts can as I'm considered funny anyway) and for our ashes to be spread across some water or mountainous area to be mixed in the blowing wind..........I hate to be in enclosed places anyway so blowing our ashes in the wind over wherever sounds great to me............I don't want to be in casket............remember me in your thoughts ...............that's all folks!!!

[MexicoKaren]

Originally Posted by expatgirl

I hate to be in enclosed places anyway so blowing our ashes in the wind over wherever sounds great to me..

Me, too, EPG - hubby and I have talked to the kids about this. Scatter us on the beach where we love to walk and watch the sunset. Let the wind pick us up and carry us wherever it will. No enclosed spaces or memorials for me.

[Katie E]

It has taken me until now to read this thread and I have from the first post to the last.

When it came to taking care of Buck after he died, the children said, "Didn't he always want to be cremated?" I told them originally he did but, as he got older, he went back to the "traditional" casket/service/burial. Having a service was very important to him because he knew those of us who loved him would need to say goodbye and have closure.

Fortunately, when I met with the funeral director he said Buck could be cremated and have a viewing and service. There'd just be no visit to burial/cemetery part. He'd be in a "display" casket and we could honor him as we chose.

We all were happy with this alternative and his funeral was a celebration of his wonderful life. Son, Aaron, arose spontaneously and spoke lovingly of his father. Sad as it was, the funeral was perfect. Two of Buck's favorite pastors officiated and his favorite hymn, Amazing Grace, was among the music played.

Most importantly, for me, I was able to see him in his favorite shirt and slacks and not hooked up to machines, with the breathing tube in his mouth. His thick silver hair was combed and his face looked calm and at peace. He was my Handsome Prince again.

His ashes are in a beautiful walnut box with his pertinent information carved into the top. Walnut was his favorite wood to work with and this box is beautiful. I'm sure he approves.

As for me, I've sent an email to all the children giving them my wishes for when I die. This, until I can get to an attorney and have it drawn up officially, which I will do ASAP.

I, too, want to be cremated. Then, Buck and I will be buried together in the cemetery where my daddy is buried. Hopefully, in a plot near his. I will have already purchased the plot and our headstone, so there will be little left for the children to do when I die.

[babetoo]

Originally Posted by Katie E

It has taken me until now to read this thread and I have from the first post to the last.

When it came to taking care of Buck after he died, the children said, "Didn't he always want to be cremated?" I told them originally he did but, as he got older, he went back to the "traditional" casket/service/burial. Having a service was very important to him because he knew those of us who loved him would need to say goodbye and have closure.

Fortunately, when I met with the funeral director he said Buck could be cremated and have a viewing and service. There'd just be no visit to burial/cemetery part. He'd be in a "display" casket and we could honor him as we chose.

We all were happy with this alternative and his funeral was a celebration of his wonderful life. Son, Aaron, arose spontaneously and spoke lovingly of his father. Sad as it was, the funeral was perfect. Two of Buck's favorite pastors officiated and his favorite hymn, Amazing Grace, was among the music played.

Most importantly, for me, I was able to see him in his favorite shirt and slacks and not hooked up to machines, with the breathing tube in his mouth. His thick silver hair was combed and his face looked calm and at peace. He was my Handsome Prince again.

His ashes are in a beautiful walnut box with his pertinent information carved into the top. Walnut was his favorite wood to work with and this box is beautiful. I'm sure he approves.

As for me, I've sent an email to all the children giving them my wishes for when I die. This, until I can get to an attorney and have it drawn up officially, which I will do ASAP.

I, too, want to be cremated. Then, Buck and I will be buried together in the cemetery where my daddy is buried. Hopefully, in a plot near his. I will have already purchased the plot and our headstone, so there will be little left for the children to do when I die.

kate i am so glad you have such a loving memory of the last time you saw Buck. it is a good feeling i am sure for you to have all your wishes known now. it is wonderful that the kids were so helpful.

my husband is in a plot we own in san diego. i have one as well. he was cremated and buried there as i will be. it is a beautiful place and my kids and grandkids have been there and would be comfortable there.

i am hoping your days get easier soon. take care of business but please dear friend take care of your self.

babe