Psychiatric Hotline

[mish]

Psychiatric Hotline

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.



If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.


If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.


If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.


If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

 

[wasabi]

Mish, please press #2 for me.

 

[mish]

Mish, please press #2 for me.

I can't, Wasabi. I have to wait on the line until they come and get me.

 

[wasabi]

Ok, I'll stay on the line till they trace my call.

 

[mish]

And, I broke the phone hitting #1, over and over and over again.

 

[kadesma]

No one is answering!!!!!! Wait I'll press 345and 6


kadesma

 

[wasabi]

Hey Kadesma.............this is the little voice in your head.........stop pressing the numbers...........it is evil.

 

[Constance]

I pressed one and two...for real.

 

[mish]

Seriously - Whenever there is a pre-recorded message, press 1, 2, etc.

PRESS 0

I promise you, it almost always works & you will talk to a live person. Let's all do it & put an end to pressing #s. Anybody in?

 

[wasabi]

It doesn't matter what number I press, no one will answer.

 

[mish]

PRESS 0


PRESS 0 AGAIN!

And... if it's voice activated - say something garbled. The recording will say:

"I didn't understand you. Please wait, and a representative will be with you shortly."

I promise. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. Hahahahahahahahaha

 

[lindatooo]

Brilliant advice! Gonna try that!

 

[Maidrite]

You Guys Make it Hard for me, I Think I fit all of them or None of them which number do I Push For that ?????????

 

[Dove]

They just put me on hold........

 

[Dove]

I'm still on hold...

 

[Maidrite]

Dove its me and you Kido, I HAVE BEEN ON HOLD MY ENTIRE LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[mudbug]

try this on for size. check out the ivr cheat sheet.

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