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Old 09-23-2005, 07:29 PM   #41
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Old 09-23-2005, 07:33 PM   #42
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Good luck Dove.
We'll all be here for you.

smiles, T
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Old 09-23-2005, 07:36 PM   #43
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oh jeez, Marge, I am so sorry I missed this thread until now. I guess your brave Marine is home by now and you both are doing your best to deal with things. Much love to the both of you and please PM anytime you need to vent. I'm here for whatever you need.
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Old 09-23-2005, 07:36 PM   #44
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He never is in a bed. He has slept on the couch or a chair since they removed two discs and vertebre (sp) many years ago. He also has a damaged nerve that runs down his leg.(.can't spell siatatic or what ever..LOL)
Yes he will be able to use the new walker I bought when this first went down.

His sis was dead serious.
When they go back to N.C. she has said "You can come after we leave..I want the spotlight to myself"
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Old 09-23-2005, 08:01 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dove
His sis was dead serious.
When they go back to N.C. she has said "You can come after we leave..I want the spotlight to myself"
That's disgusting!!!

At times can the boys help?
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Old 09-23-2005, 08:12 PM   #46
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Dove, Darlin - I don't know how I missed all this. I've been down the road you're on, with my son; it's a hard road - and that Mother Teresa quote wears pretty thin after a while!

Being a 'caregiver' which is what you are right now, in addition to being a loving spouse - are hard roles to juggle. I had so many people tell me when Matt came home - just be his mom, let other people be caregivers. Well, it took forever and for reasons too long to go into here, but I and hubbie (Matt's stepdad, the most wonderful man in the world) were his primary caregivers for a year and a half.

Here's what I would suggest to try and get some help for you - talk with YOUR doctor; if you have back problems that would prevent giving him the care he needs, insurance may pay for an aide to come in and help out. This is a toughie - and your hubbie may kick his heels and say he just wants you - don't let that wear you down. If you go down, too, you're not going to be any good to either of you.

Check with your local social services; sometimes they offer 'respite' care to give you a break; sometimes senior centers have day programs where he could go and be supervised while you get some time off.

Ask for help from your church, from your neighbors and friends, and family members. Make a list and don't be embarassed to ask people to do things like go grocery shopping, clean the bathroom (yes! - I had a dear friend come over and clean our house once a week - at first I was so embarassed, but it prevented me from being so exhausted I couldn't stand up); bring meals over; sit with hubbie while you get some 'you' time, even if it's just going for a walk or shopping, or taking a Calgon bath - whatever floats your boat and brings you peace.

You can get through this; just please, please don't think you can do it all yourself.

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jackie
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Old 09-24-2005, 01:30 AM   #47
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My dear Dove! Marmalady has it just right!

You need to keep yourself healthy to be able to help him.

The shots are no big deal - I learned to do that when my Dad had cancer - sub cuetaneous are easy and if you need to do anything else you can practice on oranges - my suggestion would be to load the syringes with 100 proof vodka and eat them afterwards!

And when your heart is tired and your spirit is exhausted - go into a quiet room, take deep breaths and light a candle - then remember that we are all breathing with you and praying for you and sending you all the strength you can handle.

Gidgett and I send our love!

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Old 09-24-2005, 01:41 AM   #48
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Please Dove don't try to do this alone. Your health and well-being is just as important as Paul's. If you are hurt or not feeling well you cannot help him as much as you like. Take care and call me. I will PM you my home phone.

Hugs, SC
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Old 09-24-2005, 06:03 AM   #49
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Please take time for you, it can be so exhausting caring for someone. When my mum had cancer I learnt to accept help graciously, it helps you and it makes people feel better that they can help.
Look into respite services, they can help you in so many ways.We had an occupational therapist come out to help us with shower aids and chair lifts etc which was great. Sub cutaneous is much much easier than other injections, when my grandma was dying in June we just bought a butterfly clip and could give her sub cutaneous morphine easily through that and none of us are nurses.
I will be thinking of you, please take care.
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Old 09-24-2005, 06:18 AM   #50
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Ooooh, Dove now I got a drift of the story with your poor darling Paul here in this thread... bless his soul, but he is lucky to have you on his side caring for you... I hope he will feel better soon, the best wishes to both of you!!
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