"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 04-15-2009, 11:55 AM   #1
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 623
Question Question for moms w/PICKY eaters...

okay, moms. or dads. my almost 3 year old son WILL NOT EAT.
he is the pickiest eater I have ever seen and I have seen a few.
he isn't sick or anything. this has been going on ever since he
discovered he had a will of his own. toddlers have idiosyncracies
and all, and my boy is no different, but wow. he will only eat one
certain thing days in a row. then he hates it. or he will go 2 or 3
days just grazing, sometimes taking one bite of food the whole day
and then the next day will power down 3 meals and a couple snacks.
he tells me he wants something, I give it to him and he says thank
you and then walks away without touching it, or he will take a bite
or two and say "all done, Mama!" and he's off. it baffles me how a
child so active can survive on seemingly nothing. he is in the 95th
percentile for height and the 25th for weight and hasn't gained a
pound in SIX MONTHS! he's a bean pole and his pediatrician assures
me this is normal and every kid is different and kids can be picky
and blah, blah, blah. I still think I am missing something. so, has
anyone ever had a picky kid? what did you feed them, or what did
you try? is there a trick to this? oh yeah, and WHY when I offer
him something he will flat out refuse it and then when Daddy gets
home he will polish off the SAME THING for him?
I am so frustrated and clueless!

__________________

__________________
ellakav is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:18 PM   #2
Master Chef
 
msmofet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,467
my older daughter was in the same percentiles. she tried to be picky but i set the rules. you eat what is served at home. when we go out (which wasn't very often and was mcdonald's most times unless on vacation or special occasion, she ordered a hamburger plain no pickle no cheese no ketchup) you can order what you want. she played hard ball several times but it didn't fly. we didn't have the money to cater to her whims. and i read that advise also in a parenting mag saying if you start those trends it never ends. so it didn't take long for her to learn. this isn't much help but i understand what you are going through.
__________________

__________________
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. -Dave Barry
msmofet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:32 PM   #3
Master Chef
 
msmofet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,467
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellakav View Post
okay, moms. or dads. my almost 3 year old son WILL NOT EAT.
he is the pickiest eater I have ever seen and I have seen a few.
he isn't sick or anything. this has been going on ever since he
discovered he had a will of his own. toddlers have idiosyncracies
and all, and my boy is no different, but wow. he will only eat one
certain thing days in a row. then he hates it. or he will go 2 or 3
days just grazing, sometimes taking one bite of food the whole day
and then the next day will power down 3 meals and a couple snacks.
he tells me he wants something, I give it to him and he says thank
you and then walks away without touching it, or he will take a bite
or two and say "all done, Mama!" and he's off. it baffles me how a
child so active can survive on seemingly nothing. he is in the 95th
percentile for height and the 25th for weight and hasn't gained a
pound in SIX MONTHS! he's a bean pole and his pediatrician assures
me this is normal and every kid is different and kids can be picky
and blah, blah, blah. I still think I am missing something. so, has
anyone ever had a picky kid? what did you feed them, or what did
you try? is there a trick to this? oh yeah, and WHY when I offer
him something he will flat out refuse it and then when Daddy gets
home he will polish off the SAME THING for him?
I am so frustrated and clueless!
oh and the dad thing i got that also i have no clue except he wasn't the stay at home parent so maybe that made the difference
__________________
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. -Dave Barry
msmofet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:41 PM   #4
Master Chef
 
jabbur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 5,481
You can't look at what a child eats in a single day. Look at the month! You say he'll not eat much one day then chow down the next. That tells me he's gotten what he needs over those two days. Relax. Have healthy stuff out that he can help himself to when he's hungry. Fix dinner and if he wants to eat fine. If not, don't push but then don't make him something later. Looks like he's trying to figure out how he can get what he wants as well as being picky. Don't read too much into the "when I offer
him something he will flat out refuse it and then when Daddy gets home he will polish off the SAME THING for him" thing. It may just be a matter of when offered by you, he wasn't hungry but by the time Dad got home he was. If he knows he's pushing buttons with food, he'll continue to use that so you need to concentrate on keeping things relaxed and matter of fact. Don't let this turn into a power struggle because it can go there really fast! Bean pole is fine. As long as he is not anemic or stopped growing, the weight gain will come. My son was always thin and tall. Now at 20 he's still thin and tall but he eats well. That just may be the way your son is. I think we as a society have given every aspect of childrearing an underlying psychological component that makes us question everything we do as parents. Is the child happy and healthy? Then leave it alone.
__________________
I could give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
jabbur is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:49 PM   #5
Master Chef
 
getoutamykitchen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Pasco County, Florida
Posts: 5,658
Ah yes, I remember those days. This is perfectly normal behavior. My son was the same way. He turned 12 last November and although still a little picky, he is starting to at least try different things. When he came off formula as a 1 yr. old I thought how much more interesting it was going to get. WRONG! When I started feeding him jarred baby food it was trial and error until we were able to come up with 2 types he would eat, apple and chicken or apples and ham. To this day he still likes his chicken nuggets, up to about 6 months ago he would have lived on hot dogs (until he found a piece of grizzle & now won't touch em'). He will only drink water, chocolate milk or white milk. Thank goodness he won't drink soda or sugary fruit drinks. Please don't let it worry you too much (I know, easier said than done), he will start to grow out of it. My son started taking an interest in what mom & dad were eating and I would always encourage him to try it. I also always told him when he said he didn't like it that it was O.K. everyone's tastes are different. Right now his dinners are either, chicken fingers, chicken quesadillas, cereal, mac & cheese or grilled cheese. Breakfast is a large crescent roll that I get at Walmart or cereal. And believe it or not he has never eaten a school lunch since he started. I have always packed his lunch. It's not unusual for him to have the same thing for school lunch for 6 months or longer. I'm just happy he eats.
So fear not Mom, he's normal and growing fine. My son was at the Dr. last week for a well check and he's 5' 2" tall and weighs 81 lbs.
__________________
Finally things have started clicking for me, my knees, my elbows, my back, etc...
getoutamykitchen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:51 PM   #6
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 623
Quote:
Originally Posted by msmofet View Post
oh and the dad thing i got that also i have no clue except he wasn't the stay at home parent so maybe that made the difference

I KNOW, huh? he's a great dad and all, but I am the one who does
all the work, cleans the messes, gets up in the night, diffuses mischief
and tantrums and all things 'terrible two', kisses owies and gives the
hugs and then daddy walks in and I literally CEASE to exist!
**sigh**. no respect.

as far as your first post, we don't cater to him. we try to take as
many meals as a family as we can, but sometimes (a lot of times, lately)
schedules don't permit it. he takes a lot of his meals separately
and I pretty much know that even if I wanted to keep trying to
get him to eat until I found something he liked, which I DON'T,
if he doesn't want to eat, he's just not going to do it. it's almost
like he's too busy. I'm not a pushover and the doctor says not to
browbeat him over it because it can cause worse issues later on,
but I still worry. what do I do, buy stock in PediaSure??
__________________
ellakav is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:53 PM   #7
Chef Extraordinaire
 
kadesma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: california
Posts: 21,373
I have two grandsons who are picky..The older one is my shadow and at 8 has finally gotten to the stage where he will try different things. He is opposed to anything with seeds and most fruits but will give them a bite. I have always told him take one bite, if you hate it there is the garbage can spit it out, BUT you need to pick something on your plate you love and eat it all. That works for my Cade.Now his younger brother Carson, I'd swear he is starving, but go to pick this 4 year old up and he is a load..With him if he thinks I'm going to offer something to his cousin Olivia who is 3 and will eat anything I put in front of her, He gobbles it up, if he sees me with something he wants to try it, so I cut everything kids size and let him see me chew, he's at my side right now and cleans the plate..He loves most fruit, pasta, small pieces of ham, chicken or pork, he tolerates beef. I never but never make a deal about food..when the kids are playing I set out a platter of fruits,cheese,carrots,celery and they know I have things to drink.It's put out I say here it is and then ignore things, but keep an eye on them..That platter is bare within a half hour.Kids will pull your chain if they think it's going to get a reaction..One of my boys use to hide his lunch under his bed then watch to see if I'd react.At first I did and thins stepped up. So I pretended I didn't know things were hidden and my DH "found" them. Bingo, it stopped.. Try not to give him what he is looking for, keep things handy, if he goes for it fine if not when he gets hungry he will eat, even if it's bananas for every meal for a week..just hide the ice cream,cookies candy or any treats you allow him, he won't starve, he is smarter than you know.
kadesma
__________________
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
kadesma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 12:57 PM   #8
Master Chef
 
msmofet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,467
Lightbulb

Quote:
Originally Posted by jabbur View Post
You can't look at what a child eats in a single day. Look at the month! You say he'll not eat much one day then chow down the next. That tells me he's gotten what he needs over those two days. Relax. Have healthy stuff out that he can help himself to when he's hungry. Fix dinner and if he wants to eat fine. If not, don't push but then don't make him something later. Looks like he's trying to figure out how he can get what he wants as well as being picky. Don't read too much into the "when I offer
him something he will flat out refuse it and then when Daddy gets home he will polish off the SAME THING for him" thing. It may just be a matter of when offered by you, he wasn't hungry but by the time Dad got home he was. If he knows he's pushing buttons with food, he'll continue to use that so you need to concentrate on keeping things relaxed and matter of fact. Don't let this turn into a power struggle because it can go there really fast! Bean pole is fine. As long as he is not anemic or stopped growing, the weight gain will come. My son was always thin and tall. Now at 20 he's still thin and tall but he eats well. That just may be the way your son is. I think we as a society have given every aspect of childrearing an underlying psychological component that makes us question everything we do as parents. Is the child happy and healthy? Then leave it alone.
i agree with everything you said but i didn't state it as well as you did. you are right about pushing the buttons and testing the boundries. my pedi said a child will not starve themselves when they are hungry they will eat. that being pick is their way to gain control sometimes. and so long as they are healthy they will go through these stages. the "start that trend and it never ends" was advise from the pedi and a give away mag in the office waiting room. my daughter is now also 20 tall and slim. she also eats a good variety of foods. the pedi also said like you said you can't cater to them ie cook seperate meals or extra meals for them.
__________________
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. -Dave Barry
msmofet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 01:08 PM   #9
Master Chef
 
msmofet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,467
i would tell my girls it's ok if you don't like it but you have to try at least one bite. after a few times of one bite i would notice they were eating more than one bite till they ate almost all of whatever it was.
__________________
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. -Dave Barry
msmofet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2009, 01:20 PM   #10
Master Chef
 
expatgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas girl living in Kazakhstan
Posts: 5,575
isn't it amazing the stuff they will make us lose sleep over........first it's whether they will eat their dinner and a few years down the road it's ..........well...you'll find out....... start stocking up on Excedrin Extra Strength now, though............we had a wonderful pediatrician who had been in practice a loooooooong time........here I am wailing that she's not eating anything at aged 2 and he looks at me and says......don't worry.......she's getting it from the air. and it provides a lot of important nutrients......this is what I needed to hear...........she was fat and chubby and in the 95% of her growth and weight chart, too.........
__________________

__________________
The only difference between a "cook" and a "Chef" is who cleans up the kitchen.
expatgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:40 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.