08-14-2009, 08:36 AM
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Southeast Kansas
Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.
- Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
- Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
- Great Dames for sale.
- Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
- Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
- If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
- The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- We build bodies that last a lifetime.
- For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
- Man, honest. Will take anything.
- Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
- Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
- UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
- Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
- Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
- Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
- 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
- Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
- Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
- Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
- Illiterate? Write today for free help.
- Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
- And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
- Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
- For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
- Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
- Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Eat, Drink, Laugh and be Happy.