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Old 07-26-2005, 07:03 AM   #1
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Realism and Enthusiasm...

I met two people to discuss a job in mechanical sector... My friend had recommended them to speak to me about sales of some industrial tools(I have already some expreince in this job) They came to me with their offers and wanted me to work for them. But they didn't already know about my plans to open a cafe...I told them about my willing to open a cafe and said "If I work for you it can be a short term project for me and you", I said I can't promise to work for 6 months or more". After I told about that they started to speak about cooking, opening a cafe or like that but just talk about its difficulties. One of them said "My father is a baker...etc., I already joined cooking lessons I know it very well but it is very hard to make even a dough and etc... There are almost 130 kind of flour in the world and so on. . If I discussed about it more, I'm sure I would listen more and more. Ofcourse these made me tense a bit. I don't know, somehow I lost my interest about my plans slowly. My enthusiasm to cooking was turning into a big barrier, like a rock. Maybe he knows some about bakery or flours ... But is this a realism to talk about it like that? Just speak about difficulties. I think they made fun of me after my refusal... One of them said that
-"I hope one day, we will sit and drink a tea in your cafe with you" ..Grrrrhh

But I'm a calm person, I said " with pleasure"...

I don't know if you can understand me, I mean what I tried to tell you. I'm realistic, and I'm an enthusiastic as well.

Yesterday I didn't want to do anything.. I just made my crying cake for birth day of my nephew and went to sleep early.

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Old 07-26-2005, 07:08 AM   #2
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Its always a fine line isn't it? My dad is a very pessimistic person but he calls it "realism". I think you have to decide whats best for you and weigh up the positives and negatives for yourself. There are always those people who will try to destroy your dreams no matter what they are cause thats the kind of people they are. Rise above them, live your dreams.
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Old 07-26-2005, 07:16 AM   #3
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Yes it is very fine sometimes. Until now, this kind of people never destroy my dreams but this is annoying... why and how they can be so.? And here is my place to share it with you to become eager again...:). I'm sure, after discussing this, I will be a rocket ready to fly...
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Old 07-26-2005, 09:38 AM   #4
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Msalper I know how you feel in a way. Before I had my daughter I was a working mom. When she was born, I quit work to stay at home with both of my children. I feel this is the most important job in the world for me. Now that both of my children are starting school in a couple of weeks, my mother-in-law keeps telling me I should get a real job. I asked her the last time she said that if raising her grandchildren wasn't a good enough job. She just rolled her eyes & said that it is wrong of me to put all the pressures of bill paying on my husbands shoulders. My dream is to be able to take care of my family & be there for my kids when they are out of school. But in the back of my head I'm wondering if I should get a job outside of home. She walks all over what is important to me & belittles what I do for my family. I have given up a lot to stay at home with my children but I'm happy & so are they.


This being said, you have to do what is important to you! Opening a cafe is your dream, do what you have to & need to to make that dream come true! Don't let other people bring you down for having dreams & ambitions. If everyone let their dreams be be destroyed by others, where would this world be today?
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Old 07-26-2005, 09:56 AM   #5
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I don't think it is wise to pay much attention to naysayers. It seems too many people (even if they don't know much about your business) can give advice that isn't asked for. If you have done your homework and prepared yourself, have confidence that you are doing the right thing. I don't understand why people seem to be so pessimistic to other people when they could very well be supportive and helpful when it is needed. Hope you don't let others spoil your dream.
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Old 07-26-2005, 11:36 AM   #6
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msalpar, if your heart is set on opening a cafe, follow it! =) Some people get weird when they see someone take risks that they don't have the guts to try. Don't let their "realism" smother your "enthusiasm"!

Crewsk, it must suck to have such a non-supportive MIL. =/ That woman needs a whack upside her head with a frying pan. There are tons more important things in life than living a grand lifestyle and kudos to you for choosing your kids over driving a new car, living in a bigger house, yadda yadda. If you're doing what you know to be right for you and your kids, more power to ya. If more people made children a priority ahead of life's other unimportant stuff I think we'd be a much happier world. It's expensive to have two working parents; by the time one realistically counts all of the expenditures associated with two working parents it's very, very difficult to justify the 2nd income (unless you're making outrageous money...). So yay for being there for your kids! They sound like happy, creative, delightful little people from what you say.


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Old 07-26-2005, 11:37 AM   #7
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Hey Crewsk;I think, you have the most difficult and at the same time the most beautiful job in the world, to become mother... Unfortunately nobody pays to you and I think, nobody also can give more wonderful present, children. I'm sure, your mother-in-law will understand you; maybe she have already understood.

Licia; I also agree with you. I can't believe myself why I was so affected by his words about difficulties of cooking, although I didn't know him already. Ofcourse I listen and care all the thoughts but if I really care of speaker.

I'm not a person who will give up his dreams easily in order to make just someone else happier"
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Old 07-26-2005, 03:05 PM   #8
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Thank you so much msalper! I agree that it is the most wonderful & rewarding job even if I don't get paid to do it. My children being happy is payment enough!
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Old 07-26-2005, 03:21 PM   #9
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That's the right attitude crewsk! Actually I saw this guy on the news a few years ago. He helps families review their financial situation. He shows a lot of families how, in many cases, having both parents work can sometimes actually cost a family more than if just one is working, with things like the extra upkeep on a second car, lunches, child-care, etc.

Have you thought about doing something (like ebay, or making gift baskets, etc.) from home while the kids are in school?

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choices (this is for both msalper and crewsk).

Crewsk--A woman once told my mom (a homemaker, by choice) that she was not free. My mom asked what she meant by that. She (my mom) said that if she wanted to go shopping in the middle of the day, or if she wanted to go see an afternoon movie, or if she just wanted to take a nap or read a book, she could do it any time she wanted. "So," she asked, "which one of us is really free?"

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Old 07-26-2005, 03:23 PM   #10
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I'm with Crewsk - I chose to be an at-home-mom. I had many career moms tell me how much more enriched their lives were, since they had a job that "affirmed" them. I told each and every one of them that my kids are the best affirmation there is.

msalper, follow your heart.
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