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Old 01-24-2006, 02:15 PM   #1
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Wink Recipe for a Perfect Marriage !!!!!!!!!!!

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a

little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in
California and mine is in Texas.

3. take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" ... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it.........those were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........just clean and simple fun! Just had to!! Have a "Maidrite Day"


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Old 01-24-2006, 02:33 PM   #2
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I love it!! And yes, I can hear him saying every bit of it! My stepdad used to watch all the old standups and comedys when I was growing. I remember watching HeeHaw and The Grand ole opry too. LOL
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Old 01-24-2006, 03:59 PM   #3
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We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in
California
and mine is in Texas



yep sounds good to me lol
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Old 01-24-2006, 04:58 PM   #4
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Grew up listening then watching him. My dad just loved him as did I..Funny funny man, have you ever seen any of his paintings? He did clowns, I would love to have one.

kadesma
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Old 01-24-2006, 05:20 PM   #5
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I respectfully and regretfully decline to reply based upon my wifes' constitutional rights to beat the living tar out of me

~ Annnoymous ~
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Old 01-25-2006, 12:14 PM   #6
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Wink

Quote:
Originally Posted by kadesma
Grew up listening then watching him. My dad just loved him as did I..Funny funny man, have you ever seen any of his paintings? He did clowns, I would love to have one.

kadesma
I would like to have one also, He truley was a "CLOWNS CLOWN"
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