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Old 01-26-2009, 06:58 PM   #1
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Right Thing/Wrong Thing

When do you feel that for some reason or other you've done something right or wrong, and when do you look back and say, wow, I'm glad I did that; or maybe "boy did I mess up." What did you do right or wrong lately, and why?

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Old 01-26-2009, 07:02 PM   #2
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For me this year it was just accidental. My husband always wants to have Thanksgiving dinner at home. We aim to have a half dozen at the table, and for some reason we had two extra "seats" available. Just out of the blue, we asked an elderly couple to come for dinner. He died a couple of weeks later, and she died three days after him. I felt great that I'd invited them for dinner. I wish we'd taken photos. It was rather freakish, because, although we really liked the couple, this could not have been expected. Sometimes you do the right thing, without really intending to do it.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:10 PM   #3
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I made the wrong choice in signing for my son to get a truck. Now my credit is trash and I can't trade mine in for a better vehicle because it will be too much money!!
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:17 PM   #4
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Got a minute???

No, seriously, Claire, I hope you have that memory forever. My heart just smiled. Bless you. I bet they talked about that all those remaining weeks.
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Old 01-26-2009, 09:54 PM   #5
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I spoke up about a good friends boyfriend ( he was a cheating sleezebag) and she kicked me to the curb for it. :( I wonder if I'll realize down the road that this was the right thing to do. She stayed with him and I lost a dear friend of 12 years. Seems like I made the wrong choice right now doesn't it?
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:37 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by snack_pack85 View Post
I spoke up about a good friends boyfriend ( he was a cheating sleezebag) and she kicked me to the curb for it. :( I wonder if I'll realize down the road that this was the right thing to do. She stayed with him and I lost a dear friend of 12 years. Seems like I made the wrong choice right now doesn't it?
Maybe later on, she'll realize you were right and need your help. Then she'll know who her friends are, and who she can turn to. I hope so anyway.
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Old 01-27-2009, 07:15 AM   #7
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Ouch! If there is one thing I've learned about friendships, it is to never, ever warn a friend about the man in her life. If you are right, and quite often we can see problems where someone who is besotted simply cannot, then you almost always lose the friend. I find it is better to just keep my mouth shut so that the friend will have a shoulder to cry on when the inevitable happens. Yes, I have had friends ask me why I didn't warn them. I just reply, "Would you have listened, or would you have cut me out of your life." Inevitably the latter is usually the case. I'm using a girlfriends (or sisters) scenario, but the same for my male friends. I have one now whose wife decided that he shouldn't have any kind of relationship with people who knew him from his first marriage. We (he was actually my husband's best friend for decades) still send Christmas cards and an occasional email, assuming that some day he'll come to his senses. But saying something to the person almost always backfires.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:35 PM   #8
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Ouch! If there is one thing I've learned about friendships, it is to never, ever warn a friend about the man in her life. .

I usually live by that rule but when he found out I knew he was cheating, he went to her in fear that I was about to out him. Instead of telling her the truth, he told her that I made a pass at him in Las Vegas while we were all on vacation! She was in the other room when he claims this happened.

I had to tell her why he was trying to ruin our friendship of course she didnt believe me. She actually asked if I was in love with that loser!

About a month later he confessed to cheating and inpregnating another girl (his live in roommate and HER best friend). She never apologized to me for accusing me of such awful things and she's still with him!
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:40 PM   #9
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Hmmmm, right thing/wrong thing...yikes! I'd need a couple of pages. Seems like my entire life is this topic! Mostly I think for me its my admin duties here, I have a responsibility to make sure thing are as Andy wants them, and sometimes that means I offend or upset folks. It makes it hard to retain friends sometimes.

For "real life" its mostly about my Mom. I'm trying to look after her or make sure she is looked after and a lot of the time I take crap from her. Its really hard but I'm glad I'm doing it because otherwise she would be alone and scared or hurt. I'd also feel like the worlds lowest piece of crap if I didn't step up to help my Mom when she needed it. Its a freaking juggling act though I have to say.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:59 PM   #10
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Hmmmm, right thing/wrong thing...yikes! I'd need a couple of pages. Seems like my entire life is this topic! Mostly I think for me its my admin duties here, I have a responsibility to make sure thing are as Andy wants them, and sometimes that means I offend or upset folks. It makes it hard to retain friends sometimes.
If you know what you are doing is in opposition to your core values, why would you enforce someone else's rules that would destroy relationships you hold dear. Surely there are other forums where you would not have to make these compromises, and you may even make more friends.

This is not a slam on DC, just a reply to right/wrong actions. Don't take it the wrong way.

As a business owner I'm frequently asked to do things that do not meet local, state or safety codes, and I refuse to sacrifice my reputation just to get a job. A good name is too difficult to establish and maintain to let it be destroyed for a few dollars. I lose the income but maintain my integrity.
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