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Old 03-24-2012, 01:41 PM   #1
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Stop Driving Your Cars, and Heating Your Homes!

This odd weather (some say it's because of global warming) has caused me great concern. It caused the maple sap collecting season to start way early. I only got about a gallon and a half of total sap from 6 taps. I might get half a cup of syrup from that.

And we all know that making maple syrup is the number one most important process on the planet. So, just in case our emissions of green house gasses is a contributing factor to this weather phenomenon, we must immediately quit driving, trucking, boating, heating our homes, flying, using electricity, and eliminate flatulence in all animals. I mean, humankind lived for many thousands of years without burning fossil fuels, or using electric power. Dig a well for your water, by hand of course, and draw it up in a bucket. Cook your food over a camp fire. Use an ox to plow your garden, or better yet, hunt and gather your food. And you certainly don't need hot water for your showers, or a washing machine. Get down to that river with a washboard. What, are you afraid of a little work! And you people who live in places where water isn't plentiful, well you just have to dig a little deeper, maybe a 500 foot well will get you to the water. And like I said, dig it with a shovel. If you dig down fifty feet per day, it will only take you ten days. What's ten days? That's nothing.

And stay away from my Great Lakes. They're mine, and I'm not sharing them with anyone else, especially the big one.

I need maple syrup. Got it! If you don't like my requests, I'll send my enforcer, one ferocious and dangerous BT (he's from Joisey so you know he's tough).

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

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Old 03-24-2012, 03:48 PM   #2
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The fires you burn to boil down your maple sap probably contributed a disproportionate amount to global warming. So, if you want more sap, stop boiling it.
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:01 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Andy M. View Post
The fires you burn to boil down your maple sap probably contributed a disproportionate amount to global warming. So, if you want more sap, stop boiling it.
Ok, so I'll have to make a solar powered evaporator, using evacuated tube technology. So counter that argument.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:04 PM   #4
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Ok, so I'll have to make a solar powered evaporator, using evacuated tube technology. So counter that argument.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
Can't be done without increasing your carbon footprint. How about agave syrup instead?
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Old 03-24-2012, 06:24 PM   #5
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This was in USAToday: Mild winter concerns some maple syrup producers
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:07 PM   #6
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Can't help you with driving, but my heat is electric and our power is nuclear!
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Old 03-24-2012, 11:22 PM   #7
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You old hats already know this. But for the newbies who might see this post, my first entry was to be taken with several grains of salt. I am sad that I only have 2/3rds cup of yummy home made maple syrup, But I am happy that I got that.

But if any of you have more maple syrup than you know what to do with...

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
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Old 03-25-2012, 12:24 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chief Longwind Of The North View Post
You old hats already know this. But for the newbies who might see this post, my first entry was to be taken with several grains of salt. I am sad that I only have 2/3rds cup of yummy home made maple syrup, But I am happy that I got that.

But if any of you have more maple syrup than you know what to do with...

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
Oh no! You are not going to wheedle me out of my maple syrup. Just got two bottles of it, has to last me till the next sale. If there is any available!
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Old 03-25-2012, 12:38 AM   #9
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chief, it would make you sick (as i) whenever i walk down the east side of manhattan in the 60's and 70's (along park and 5th aves) and you pass under a marquis of a high end residence hotel (where da rich folk live) and it suddenly gets very warm.
talk about carbon footprints? they're each a sasquatch or worse.

the hotels have dozens of massive heat lamps built into each of the 15 foot high marquis overhangs just to keep the residents a few degrees warmer underneath on a 40 to 50 degree (F) day, for the few seconds they walk from the door to a doorman assisted awaiting taxi. and the heat lamps are on all day and night, just in case.

it gets discouraging. why should i bitch to my wife about saving energy (lowering the heat, using less a.c., turning off lights, etc.) or preach to anyone about energy consumption when it's but a drop in the bucket, and the rich guys flaunt their comfortable ignorance in your face?
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:56 AM   #10
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If it is any consolation, our maple sap production here in SE Ontario was way down as well...we have about 2 liters of "new" syrup. I think we had 3-4 days of good sap collection. And, we evapped it on the wood stove. We use the wood stove to heat the house anyway. Depressing, since I've gotten used to using maple syrup in so many dishes. Perhaps this means the summer will be better and we won't have our squash plants drown from too much rain. One can only hope. If I weren't deathly allergic to bee and wasp stings, I'd be tempted to set up some bee hives...
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