Chief Longwind Of The North
Certified/Certifiable
This odd weather (some say it's because of global warming) has caused me great concern. It caused the maple sap collecting season to start way early. I only got about a gallon and a half of total sap from 6 taps. I might get half a cup of syrup from that.
And we all know that making maple syrup is the number one most important process on the planet. So, just in case our emissions of green house gasses is a contributing factor to this weather phenomenon, we must immediately quit driving, trucking, boating, heating our homes, flying, using electricity, and eliminate flatulence in all animals. I mean, humankind lived for many thousands of years without burning fossil fuels, or using electric power. Dig a well for your water, by hand of course, and draw it up in a bucket. Cook your food over a camp fire. Use an ox to plow your garden, or better yet, hunt and gather your food. And you certainly don't need hot water for your showers, or a washing machine. Get down to that river with a washboard. What, are you afraid of a little work! And you people who live in places where water isn't plentiful, well you just have to dig a little deeper, maybe a 500 foot well will get you to the water. And like I said, dig it with a shovel. If you dig down fifty feet per day, it will only take you ten days. What's ten days? That's nothing.
And stay away from my Great Lakes. They're mine, and I'm not sharing them with anyone else, especially the big one.
I need maple syrup. Got it! If you don't like my requests, I'll send my enforcer, one ferocious and dangerous BT (he's from Joisey so you know he's tough).
Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
And we all know that making maple syrup is the number one most important process on the planet. So, just in case our emissions of green house gasses is a contributing factor to this weather phenomenon, we must immediately quit driving, trucking, boating, heating our homes, flying, using electricity, and eliminate flatulence in all animals. I mean, humankind lived for many thousands of years without burning fossil fuels, or using electric power. Dig a well for your water, by hand of course, and draw it up in a bucket. Cook your food over a camp fire. Use an ox to plow your garden, or better yet, hunt and gather your food. And you certainly don't need hot water for your showers, or a washing machine. Get down to that river with a washboard. What, are you afraid of a little work! And you people who live in places where water isn't plentiful, well you just have to dig a little deeper, maybe a 500 foot well will get you to the water. And like I said, dig it with a shovel. If you dig down fifty feet per day, it will only take you ten days. What's ten days? That's nothing.
And stay away from my Great Lakes. They're mine, and I'm not sharing them with anyone else, especially the big one.
I need maple syrup. Got it! If you don't like my requests, I'll send my enforcer, one ferocious and dangerous BT (he's from Joisey so you know he's tough).
Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North