Stupid human tricks

[blissful]

I hope you'll share yours!

I seared a rump roast this morning to cook in the crock pot all day. It was in a web of string, and as I attempted to turn it, my tongs were caught in the strings.

These are tongs made of metal and somehow the string ended up around the end of the tongs. The only way to get it off was to shimmy the string to where the metal tongs metal ended (you know, they are curled metal and there IS an opening).

It wouldn't come off. I finally got a scissors and cut the string. String and regular tongs don't go together. Next time I'll use the salad tongs to turn a roast.

I can't believe how stupid I am. I know YOU can believe it, it's just that *I* can't believe it!

What's your story?

 

[Steve Kroll]

This happened about 10 years ago.

DW and I were entertaining another couple at our home. I decided to make steak au poivre. To add a final flair (and dramatic effect), I had planned to dowse the steaks in Brandy and flambé them.

So I light the pan while it's sitting on the stove top and get a nice blue flame, which is somewhat hard to see. Now about a month or so earlier, we had just bought a new microwave oven that mounts over the stove. As I'm standing there waiting for the flame to extinguish, I see the plastic faceplate cover and handle of the microwave start to blister and distort from the heat of the burning Brandy. Suddenly, before I could throw a lid on the pan, the partially melted faceplate cover popped off, landed in the pan with the steaks, and burst into flame. Fortunately, that was the extent of the damage and nothing outside of the pan really caught fire, but what a mess. The steaks had to be tossed because they were tainted with burning plastic - the aroma of which also permeated the house. The microwave oven was still functional but looked awful (we ended up replacing it with another one shortly after).

I'm sure my wife and our dinner guests all had a good laugh at my expense while I drove to the store to buy four more steaks (which I DIDN'T flambé). Well, maybe my wife wasn't laughing quite as hard as everyone else.

 

[blissful]

I'm sure my wife and our dinner guests all had a good laugh at my expense while I drove to the store to buy four more steaks (which I DIDN'T flambé). Well, maybe my wife wasn't laughing quite as hard as everyone else.

That's cause she loves you!

It seems to me that when someone takes time to cook a meal and try to impress them with something special, well, it is a very nice thing. I wonder if people realize how much effort it takes to make a special meal for others. I know the memories of people that have done that for me, I will never forget how special that is to me.

Charlie (he's gone now), someone that loved Julie Child, once made a meal for me and my ex and my parents. It was probably the best meal I ever had. I'm going to love him forever for that meal.

I'm not good at barbeque...... I'm really bad at it.I've burned more things than I've cooked well.

 

[4meandthem]

I was making a lamb demi glace and didn't have any cheesecloth to strain it through so I tried to use some paper towels. They filtered ok but my lamb demi tasted just like paper towel. Had to toss the entire batch. DOH!

 

[Aunt Bea]

This happened about 10 years ago.

DW and I were entertaining another couple at our home. I decided to make steak au poivre. To add a final flair (and dramatic effect), I had planned to dowse the steaks in Brandy and flambé them.

So I light the pan while it's sitting on the stove top and get a nice blue flame, which is somewhat hard to see. Now about a month or so earlier, we had just bought a new microwave oven that mounts over the stove. As I'm standing there waiting for the flame to extinguish, I see the plastic faceplate cover and handle of the microwave start to blister and distort from the heat of the burning Brandy. Suddenly, before I could throw a lid on the pan, the partially melted faceplate cover popped off, landed in the pan with the steaks, and burst into flame. Fortunately, that was the extent of the damage and nothing outside of the pan really caught fire, but what a mess. The steaks had to be tossed because they were tainted with burning plastic - the aroma of which also permeated the house. The microwave oven was still functional but looked awful (we ended up replacing it with another one shortly after).

I'm sure my wife and our dinner guests all had a good laugh at my expense while I drove to the store to buy four more steaks (which I DIDN'T flambé). Well, maybe my wife wasn't laughing quite as hard as everyone else.

I had a similar mishap years ago after consuming a few Manhattans. I learned that Manhattans and fire are not a good combination. Now I do my pyrotechnic cooking outdoors!

 

[taxlady]

I'm a specialist in stupid coffee maker tricks.

There was one time that I forgot to empty the pot and made a full pot - coffee overflowing everywhere.

There was the time, in a hotel, I forgot to put the lid on the pot. It was one of those coffee makers that lets you take a cup before it's done dripping. So, the lid wasn't pushing up the thingamee in hole the basket. The coffee overflowed the basket, with grounds.

I'm sure I have done other stupid things with coffee makers, but that's all I can think of at the moment. Well, trying to make coffee with no coffee or no water.

 

[MostlyWater]

I've made coffee without putting the carafe underneath.

 

[Rocklobster]

I set a T-Fal fryer on the stove while the oven was on. The heat from the oven vents out of the far right element and was hot enough to melt a small hole in the plastic drain tray under the fryer. All of the oil drained on to the top of the stove and in the elements and under the range top. Some oozed down in the sides of the oven and soaked the insulation around the oven, which we didn't realize while we were cleaning it up. A couple of days later I went to use the oven and it caught fire. We had to carry the burning stove down three flights of stairs onto the sidewalk and douse it with water. I needed a new stove and the landlord thanked me for getting it out right away because if I would have called the fire dept and waited any longer, the place may have caught on fire. He replaced the burnt one with no problem.....I still think it is stupid to have any plastic parts on a fryer....and a heck of a lot of hard work just to get a new stove...

 

[taxlady]

I set a T-Fal fryer on the stove while the oven was on. The heat from the oven vents out of the far right element and was hot enough to melt a small hole in the plastic drain tray under the fryer. All of the oil drained on to the top of the stove and in the elements and under the range top. Some oozed down in the sides of the oven and soaked the insulation around the oven. A couple of days later I went to use the oven and it caught fire. We had to carry the burning stove down three flights of stairs onto the sidewalk and douse it with water. I needed a new stove and the landlord thanked me for getting it out right away because if I would have called the fire dept and waited any longer, the place may have caught on fire. He replaced the burnt one with no problem.....I still think it is stupid to have any plastic parts on a fryer....and a heck of a lot of hard work just to get a new stove...

Oh my, and you carried it down the stairs while it was on fire!

Must have been an electric stove with a plug.

 

[Rocklobster]

Oh my, and you carried it down the stairs while it was on fire!

Must have been an electric stove with a plug.

Yeah. Apartment size, thanfully. Not that heavy. There was still hot oil pouring out of the corner that must have pooled in there some where. The fire was in between the outer panel and the oven chambre. More smoke than anything but the outside panel was turning black and the paint was blistering and cracking.

 

[taxlady]

Yeah. Apartment size, thanfully. Not that heavy. There was still hot oil pouring out of the corner that must have pooled in there some where. The fire was in between the outer panel and the oven chambre. More smoke than anything but the outside panel was turning black and the paint was blistering and cracking.

How did you hold that sucker so as not to get burnt?

 

[FluffyAngel]

I have had PLENTY of stupid human tricks in the kitchen, but I can't remember them very well as I tend to block traumatizing or otherwise embarrassing memories. Soon as I have the next one - I'll post it. The only thing off the top of my head is I'm constantly putting things on a stove eye waiting for it to cook only to discover 15 minutes later that I never turned on the stove. That's the same reason it takes me two days to do a load of laundry. They go in the washer - IF I remember to start it up, I forget about them & don't put them in the dryer until the next morning when I want to put something else in the washer and they're in the way.

 

[Rocklobster]

How did you hold that sucker so as not to get burnt?

I used oven mitts just like any good cook would.

 

[FluffyAngel]

Speaking of oven mitts ... I REALLY should have used them to remove that 9 × 12 Pyrex dish from the oven - the one my fingers stuck to.

 

[blissful]

I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

My friend called and he said he put his clothes in the wash. WITH HIS PAYCHECK STILL IN THE POCKET.

I don't feel alone today.

 

[bakechef]

Had friends over, they brought stuff for chocolate martinis. I was enjoying the martinis and at the same time making butter toffee.

I take the toffee off the stove, and pour over the crushed almonds, and place the pan right back on the burner and go into the living room to sip some more.

Next thing I know the smoke detector is going off, and there is a thick black column of smoke coming from the saucepan!!!

The toffee was fabulous, the pan took a week to clean...

 

[TATTRAT]

this threads reminds me why I am so lucky to not be in the ground, with a headstone reading my famous last words: "Hey, Watch This"!

 

[Zereh]

I'm a specialist in stupid coffee maker tricks.

Me too!

Another thing I have an issue with is toasting garlic bread under a broiler. I can be standing right there watching it ... turn black and begin to smoke. Now I either delegate that task or ask for supervision.

 

[Andy M.]

Me too!

Another thing I have an issue with is toasting garlic bread under a broiler. I can be standing right there watching it ... turn black and begin to smoke. Now I either delegate that task or ask for supervision.

I can completely relate to this! Bruschetta too. I now stand there with one hand on the oven door handle, bent over looking through the window on the oven door with the oven light on.