There is no shame in adoption in this country. It is looked upon as a blessing for the parents as well as the child. Adopted children are special because they were chosen. As we natural mothers didn't have that choice. We got what we were given. And we have to keep them. You will often hear a mother say that a child was an accident. Meaning that the couple was not planning on having another child. I think it is a bad choice of words. No child should ever have to think they are not wanted. Because every child is wanted by someone. Even if it is not their natural parents. Such as Cat has been. She was wanted and loved by you and your husband. She was a "chosen child".
We love Cat. And she will always have a place in our hearts. And she will calm down. She can vent here and we will listen. And you were right in telling us about the phone call. We have taken her under our wing. And if there is any time she needs us, we are here for her. She is young and has a lot to learn. I have a theory, that by the time a child reaches 25, all of a sudden they become smart and realize that their parents knew what they were talking about all along. That is when a friendship between child and parents can occur.
Addie, again, there is no wonder Cat does, in her way, love you and all the others here. I also feel affection for you and others here.
Her Papa and I made a very bad mistake with Cat. When she was older, I think 10 years old, she asked us about her adoption and why. We told her she was found in a trash can, taken to the hospital, and there she was found by me and we adopted her.
She listened solemnly as is her way, then she said nothing, but just hugged me. Then, she left to go to her room and said, "I am sorry you had to pick babies from a trash can. But it is right, Mamma. I know I am just trash."
This broke my heart. We explained to her that she wasn't any trash, and that someone had put her there. It took us a long time to convince her that we wanted her.
Her two cousins, my brother Nicu's daughters, were both sent to take care of DA (as is her nickname here) and both failed. Neither one of them took the responsibility; instead, they were social butterflies and both flunked out of the same university Cat is in. DA shipped them both back here quickly.
When we approached Cat about coming there, she agreed to do it. But as she was to board the plane in Bucharest, she said she knew she was a utility child. That is a derogatory Romanian term for a child who is born for a particular reason, such as taking care of elders, or for prostitution to earn money for the family. This stunned us. And there was no time for an explanation; she was leaving and that was it.
We have convinced her she is not a utility child. She is taking her responsibilities extremely well, we think. I appreciate you, Addie, and all the others who have taken her under your wings. You all have been so kind and helpful to her and to me.
You are right, Addie. She is young and she has much to learn. I am very glad she has found this cooking forum.
I have tried to call her, but she is not answering. I think she is still upset. I will try again.
MammaCat
