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Old 10-09-2013, 02:17 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by Steve Kroll View Post
Cat, you are right. To you, in your culture, cars are very special. But in the US, I don't think that many college kids think the same way.

Here is an example.

My own daughter came home one weekend with a dent in her front bumper. This was the car that her mother and I gave to her for her high school graduation. When I asked her what happened, she shrugged and said she thought it got hit by someone in a parking lot. It wasn't something that she thought about for more than a couple of minutes. I was probably more upset than she was. But in her mind, her car is nothing more than a thing that gets her from one place to another.

On the other hand, she has a bedroom set that I made for her when she was about 12. She took it to college with her. The bed is very small, since it was made for a child. But she still uses it. A few weeks ago, I asked her if she would like a new larger bed. She then asked what we would do with the old one, so I suggested we sell it. Well, the answer was a definite no. She said she would not want to sell something that I had made for her. This surprised me.

So you see, different perspectives. One thing she regards as special. Another thing she does not.

Again, I'm not saying that what these kids did was right. It wasn't. It was clearly wrong. But did they intend to harm you or your car? Or was it more a case where they just not thinking clearly? That, I don't know.
The car thing is a 'man' thing. All men look at cars with different eyes. And the bed is something you should never sell. Pass it on down to your grandchildren. I can't imagine that you would even suggest selling it. Imagine the stories your daughter can tell her child about that bed. That is one bed that was made with love, not for lovemaking.
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:21 PM   #72
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I have a 2005 Volvo that I bought used last year. I would be very upset if Sigrid got a ding.
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:25 PM   #73
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I have a 2005 Volvo that I bought used last year. I would be very upset if Sigrid got a ding.
I can understand that. But would you bring it into the shop to have it fixed? A man would. He would be willing to spend the money. A woman is more practical. Is the ding bad enough that the paint has been removed and leaving room for rust to set in? A woman would think of that. A man would only want to get "his car" back to looking new. A woman is more concerned with keeping the inside clean. A man wants to wash his car every weekend.
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:39 PM   #74
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Hello, everyone! I thought I would weigh in on this issue.

Her Papa called the university and spoke to the Dean of Women. He was told that Cat is too "serious," and that "she does not fit in," and she advised him that Cat should "try harder to be sociable, and go out with her classmates."

Well, obviously, Cat can't do very much socializing. The university put the blame on Cat for this occurrence. She went ahead to say that if Cat were more like her peers, this would not have happened. She also suggested professional counseling for Cat.

We are nowhere with this problem. Cat's situation is unique, and the Dean knows this. Still, the Dean suggested counseling.

One of you stated clearly that Cat is more serious than others of her age. She is. Her family, and anything she's given or bought, she treasures all of it. With an adopted child, we don't know if this trait came from us or if it was inherent in her.

Whichever the case, the incident is where it stands now. They will do nothing.

Thank you for listening.

MammaCat
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:43 PM   #75
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Sadly, she died. I will bury her under the cedar bush where she liked to nap. RIP, Giselle.
Oh CW, I'm so sorry. Not a good day at the coop...
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:44 PM   #76
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I can understand that. But would you bring it into the shop to have it fixed? A man would. He would be willing to spend the money. A woman is more practical. Is the ding bad enough that the paint has been removed and leaving room for rust to set in? A woman would think of that. A man would only want to get "his car" back to looking new. A woman is more concerned with keeping the inside clean. A man wants to wash his car every weekend.
These are major generalizations, Addie. DH got a new truck a couple months ago and keeps it clean, but only because it's new. His previous vehicle was a dump! I hated riding in it because it smelled bad from years of spilled coffee. And I sure don't keep my car that clean. Tidy, yes, but I don't clean it all the time. I just don't want to spend my time doing that.

Different strokes for different folks.
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:59 PM   #77
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Mamma, I love you but I am very angry of your posting.

I am not mentally ill! I am going away of this. I did not wish to speak of this phone call!

~Cat
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Old 10-09-2013, 03:17 PM   #78
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Originally Posted by MammaCat View Post
Hello, everyone! I thought I would weigh in on this issue.

Her Papa called the university and spoke to the Dean of Women. He was told that Cat is too "serious," and that "she does not fit in," and she advised him that Cat should "try harder to be sociable, and go out with her classmates."

Well, obviously, Cat can't do very much socializing. The university put the blame on Cat for this occurrence. She went ahead to say that if Cat were more like her peers, this would not have happened. She also suggested professional counseling for Cat.

We are nowhere with this problem. Cat's situation is unique, and the Dean knows this. Still, the Dean suggested counseling.

One of you stated clearly that Cat is more serious than others of her age. She is. Her family, and anything she's given or bought, she treasures all of it. With an adopted child, we don't know if this trait came from us or if it was inherent in her.

Whichever the case, the incident is where it stands now. They will do nothing.

Thank you for listening.

MammaCat
Cat has no need to change. She is a delightful person. Her sense of humor is right on and she shouldn't have to fit in anywhere if it is not her nature to do so. She recognizes that she has a lot of responsibility and she lives up to it. What was done to her car is pure bullying. And in this country that is not a good thing.

It doesn't matter where her traits come from. Only in how you raised her. Both you and your husband have done a wonderful job with Cat. Her days for laughter and fun will come. It is just not going to be the todays of now. You and your husband are very fortunate in having such a remarkable daughter. And we here at DC are so fortunate in getting to know such a delightful person.

A lot of our colleges have older people in their 30's and older who have returned to finish obtaining their degree. Would the Dean suggest that they too go out with other students on drinking binges and playing stupid jokes on other people? The Dean is an idiot who fails to understand what her duties are. She has a duty to protect Cat as well as other students.
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Old 10-09-2013, 03:20 PM   #79
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Mamma, I love you but I am very angry of your posting.

I am not mentally ill! I am going away of this. I did not wish to speak of this phone call!

~Cat
Cat, here in the U.S., there are many reasons to seek counseling - mental illness is only one of these. Of course you are not mentally ill. Counselors can be helpful, though, when it comes to dealing with stressful situations in life.

Think about it this way: You have experienced several life changes in a relatively short period of time that would cause stress to anyone: moving to a new country, taking care of an elderly relative and going to school. Any one of these would be difficult for many people to deal with, and you are doing them all at once. You're doing a great job, but sometimes it helps to have an impartial third party to talk to. It's helped me a lot. PM me if you want.
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Old 10-09-2013, 03:26 PM   #80
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These are major generalizations, Addie. DH got a new truck a couple months ago and keeps it clean, but only because it's new. His previous vehicle was a dump! I hated riding in it because it smelled bad from years of spilled coffee. And I sure don't keep my car that clean. Tidy, yes, but I don't clean it all the time. I just don't want to spend my time doing that.

Different strokes for different folks.
You would never want to ride in Spike's car. He uses it to carry tools, and anything else in it that will fit. When he is going to take me shopping, he has to find an hour when he can clean it out enough so the groceries will fit in.

A quick story. He has his father ashes in a cardboard box and has never gotten around to sending them back to England to be buried there. So one time when he and Sandy separated for a short time, he brought them with him. He put them up in my sister's attic. One day my sister was cleaning out the attic and came across the box. She shook the box and there were a couple of tiny bones in it that hadn't burnt completely. She wondered what was in it and when she went to open it there on the top were the words, "Cremains of Raymond Harris." She almost fainted. She called him to come and get them. He did and for the longest time kept them on the seat in his truck. Every time someone went to get in his truck he would tell them to wait. He has to move his father. He didn't like for people to sit on him. His father is now in the closet downstairs. Sandy refused to even hang her coat there when she would come inside. She wouldn't even open the door. A good place to hide stuff from her.
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