Terrible Day Today

[GotGarlic]

Sadly, she died. I will bury her under the cedar bush where she liked to nap. RIP, Giselle.

I'm so sorry to hear that, CWS.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Sadly, she died. I will bury her under the cedar bush where she liked to nap. RIP, Giselle.

Oh CWS, I am so sorry! RIP Giselle.

 

[Mad Cook]

I am so very upset of this! Some classmates put this thing called Silly String all over my Joy! She was covered in it! I went to the parking lot with some classmates and they began to laugh of my Joy. I was so hurt of this I cried.

I put enough of this off the windshield to drive to the car wash and I knew people were looking and laughing of me. I could feel my face burn with very much shame.

The classmates think it is funny. I do not! When I cried, they told me to not become so serious over everything. No one understood of my hurt. Cars of my Joy are very large luxuries in Romania. For me to possess one of these, it means so very, very much to me. I take very good care for her.

Why is this so funny? I think it is a terrible thing. I could never do something of this to anyone.

My face burns just to think of this again.

With love,
~Cat

It isn't funny. It's cruel and spiteful and tantamount to bullying. Have there been other incidents? If there have been, or this nastiness continues, does your school have a student counsellor? If not, or if s/he is ineffectual, then you need to go to the Principal/Dean or whatever the top person's title is. Make sure the counsellor and the Principal understand that this is bullying and vandalism and the law has been broken and you want it dealt with as a disciplinary issue. If s/he's a wet lettuce (ie limp and feeble) threaten to take it to the police. The perpetrators will hate you for standing up to them but would you want them as friends anyway?

I hate bullying and bullies and when I was teaching I used to make sure it was jumped on from a very great height.

Goodness, I got a bit carried away there but I meant it all. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them

 

[taxlady]

Geez, all this was just silly string on Joy? When I saw the title I got a tear in my eye thinking "Cat came home from school and found DA had passed on???" Phew, so DA is OK then, right?

Let me give you a different view of this silly string stuff. Sure they might have done it as a prank to be funny or mean - I don't know, I can't read their minds. But when our kids were in high school (1995-1999) it was a big thing to get your yard toilet-papered. Mostly your classmates did it to let you know you were part of their crowd. Our son was always disappointed when the school year came and went and he didn't get TP'd. Well let me tell you, he went to a school that was 25 miles from our home and the only transportation was if we drove. Finally, after 3+ years of football/track/wrestling/mock debate team/etc our yard finally got toilet-papered! The reason it took so long? The kids in his class had to be old enough to get drivers' licenses and pay for the car insurance and gas before they could go 25 miles! Whenever one of the kids from school got TP'd the same kids would show up the next day to clean up. Fun, plus not trouble to the person draped in paper. Heck, they even all got together and did it to the football coach's house at the end of the season.

Maybe your classmates were trying to initiate you. Maybe not. But if there is a next time with them pranking you, if they are around just smile, straighten your shoulders and stand tall, and say "OK, you had your fun. Now come help me clean this up, OK?" If you say it with a strong voice and a firm look in your eye they might help...but they probably won't ever mess with you again.

I hadn't thought of that. It might be cultural differences. I don't know what the university culture is like where Cat lives.

CG, I think your advise is excellent.

 

[Mad Cook]

I wouldn't say it's exactly funny either, at least not to you, but it is what's called a practical joke. They do not have these in Romania? It's an immature form of entertainment that is usually not so much fun to the person on the receiving end. Like pulling a chair out from someone sitting down, pushing someone into a lake, super gluing someone's lock so they can't get the key in...
As the saying goes, don't get mad, get even. In a good way. It is easy to cross the line, as it seems they have done.

No, it isn't a joke and shouldn't be viewed as such. If they get away with this what will they try next? Serious damage to the car - scratched paintwork, broken windows - or dangerous "practical jokes" - sugar in the petrol tank, interfering with brakes?

As for "don't get mad, get even". That's downright childish and puts the victim (and "victim" is the correct word) in the same league as the perpetrators. If you can't give sensible advice and sympathy keep your fingers off the keyboard.

The next thing you'll be suggesting is that she should bake them a cake to apologise to them for getting so upset !!!!!

 

[Dawgluver]

Sadly, she died. I will bury her under the cedar bush where she liked to nap. RIP, Giselle.

Oh no! So sorry, CWS. RIP, Giselle.

 

[taxlady]

CWS, I'm sorry to hear about Giselle.

 

[Mad Cook]

Thank you. I was wondering if because I am different of them that they did this?

Thank you for your kindness to me, and ((hugs)) also to you.

With love,
~Cat

No, Cat, do NOT say this. If you think it, you are, effectively, saying it was your fault. It wasn't. THEY are the people at fault here not you. I can't think of bad enough words to describe them.

 

[Mad Cook]

What a terrible thing to do. The only thing I can think of is that they are jealous of the support you get from your family and how dedicated you are to DA.

I too had a bad day--I came home and went out to lock up the girls for the night only to find Giselle hanging off of the latch to the gate. She has a very deep puncture wound under her wing and was in shock--I stapled it shut with surgical staples, packed it with sugar, wrapped her in a towel and have her in a dog crate on a heating pad. I also gave her "chicken" electrolytes. I don't know what else to do. Hopefully she'll still be alive in the morning.

Poor Giselle and poor you.

 

[CarolPa]

Well, it seems dogs are people too so it may happen. You do not like dog food, do you?

Can you take her to the veterinarian to check of these mouth sores?

With love,
~Cat

When my dog begs for my food I tell him "I don't eat your food, so you don't get to eat mine!"

 

[Mad Cook]

I could not help it. I saw this and my heart hurt immediately and I was stopped in walking to her and just cried. I did not cry much because they were laughing at me and I was humiliated and angry.

They do not understand what having this car is meaning to me. Their parents buy them cars, yes, and my parents paid for this, but it is much different. I do not know how to explain of this, but having my Joy is just different.

Thank you, taxlady. Is Shreddy doing well with his treatments?

With love,
~Cat

Oh, my dear, I think they DO know what the car means to you, else why would they have done what they did.

 

[CWS4322]

No, Cat, do NOT say this. If you think it, you are, effectively, saying it was your fault. It wasn't. THEY are the people at fault here not you. I can't think of bad enough words to describe them.

Cat--do NOT blame yourself for their behaviour. Their behaviour is unacceptable. Your car is your car and they had no right to do anything to it. What they did was mean spirited. You do not need people like that as friends. There are a lot nicer people in the world who will not behave like that.

Practical jokes are not intended to hurt the other person. The fact that you were hurt makes what they did beyond the boundaries of what constitutes a practical joke.

 

[taxlady]

No, Cat, do NOT say this. If you think it, you are, effectively, saying it was your fault. It wasn't. THEY are the people at fault here not you. I can't think of bad enough words to describe them.

Sometimes I got picked on in school for being different. That doesn't mean I'm saying it was my fault.

 

[Mad Cook]

Sadly, she died. I will bury her under the cedar bush where she liked to nap. RIP, Giselle.

So sorry to hear this, CWS.

 

[Mad Cook]

Sometimes I got picked on in school for being different. That doesn't mean I'm saying it was my fault.

Exactly!

 

[Mad Cook]

I hadn't thought of that. It might be cultural differences. I don't know what the university culture is like where Cat lives.

CG, I think your advise is excellent.

I can't think of any culture which thinks bullying is acceptable. Anyway, Cat is in America, isn't she? The land of the free and equal opportunity for all.

 

[taxlady]

I can't think of any culture which thinks bullying is acceptable. Anyway, Cat is in America, isn't she? The land of the free and equal opportunity for all.

I'm not talking about a culture that thinks bullying is okay. Cat is in the US, but the culture varies from region to region.

CG mentioned kids toilet papering a house and then cleaning it up. Where she was living it showed that the "victim" was a member of the group.

Where I grew up, it was just a stupid prank and the house owner was left to do their own cleanup.

 

[GotGarlic]

No, it isn't a joke and shouldn't be viewed as such. If they get away with this what will they try next? Serious damage to the car - scratched paintwork, broken windows - or dangerous "practical jokes" - sugar in the petrol tank, interfering with brakes?

As for "don't get mad, get even". That's downright childish and puts the victim (and "victim" is the correct word) in the same league as the perpetrators. If you can't give sensible advice and sympathy keep your fingers off the keyboard.

The next thing you'll be suggesting is that she should bake them a cake to apologise to them for getting so upset !!!!!

You know, people do have different viewpoints and the right to express them. You seem to be overreacting a bit.

There's no reason to think those kids have any desire to hurt Cat or seriously damage her car. They did something stupid but it's not criminal.

I think cultural differences do have a lot to do with this. Cat is much more serious than many Americans her age. I think Cooking Goddess made some good points.

 

[CatPat]

Sadly, she died. I will bury her under the cedar bush where she liked to nap. RIP, Giselle.

Oh no! I am so sorry. I am thinking of you.

With love,
~Cat

 

[CatPat]

Geez, all this was just silly string on Joy? When I saw the title I got a tear in my eye thinking "Cat came home from school and found DA had passed on???" Phew, so DA is OK then, right?

Let me give you a different view of this silly string stuff. Sure they might have done it as a prank to be funny or mean - I don't know, I can't read their minds. But when our kids were in high school (1995-1999) it was a big thing to get your yard toilet-papered. Mostly your classmates did it to let you know you were part of their crowd. Our son was always disappointed when the school year came and went and he didn't get TP'd. Well let me tell you, he went to a school that was 25 miles from our home and the only transportation was if we drove. Finally, after 3+ years of football/track/wrestling/mock debate team/etc our yard finally got toilet-papered! The reason it took so long? The kids in his class had to be old enough to get drivers' licenses and pay for the car insurance and gas before they could go 25 miles! Whenever one of the kids from school got TP'd the same kids would show up the next day to clean up. Fun, plus not trouble to the person draped in paper. Heck, they even all got together and did it to the football coach's house at the end of the season.

Maybe your classmates were trying to initiate you. Maybe not. But if there is a next time with them pranking you, if they are around just smile, straighten your shoulders and stand tall, and say "OK, you had your fun. Now come help me clean this up, OK?" If you say it with a strong voice and a firm look in your eye they might help...but they probably won't ever mess with you again.

I did not mean for this posting to scare anyone. DA is just fine but she and my parents are very mad of this.

The classmates did not help to clean it. They just pointed at Joy and laughed and walked away of me. I suppose I did look stupid standing at Joy and crying.

Joy is so special to me. She is my very first new car I have ever had. One only gets a first new car once in the lifetime.

With love,
~Cat