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Old 08-01-2011, 02:25 PM   #11
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Yay, good for you. My mom had this problem for years. She'd literally get home from the hospital after having a baby or during a separation (we were a military family) to find that my father hadn't done a dish. Once I was old enough, my sister (with much kicking a-- from me) and I would make it so that didn't happen. It would never occur to her to say she wasn't coming home until it was done!
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:38 PM   #12
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Some childhood aha moments: I moved every 2-3 years of my first 30+ years. Once, when I had to move during my Junior high school year, I decided that what had been very painful childhood shyness didn't have to be. For some reason, it ocurred to me that it did not have to be that way. I started to think (duh) ... shyness comes from thinking people are looking at you and judging and finding you wanting. I realized that no one really gave a poop what I was doing, and if they did, did I really care about their opinion? On that move I developed a spine. I very weak one, but at least it started to grow. It was definitely one of those moments, as the song goes, that makes you go "duh". My life did a 180 at that 16-year-old moment. Oh, I'll never be the belle of the ball, but if someone doesn't like me? Gee, what a shame and move on.

Another was when I was much younger. My mom had just had my baby sister, I was 13. She contracted pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. My parents arranged for a much beloved (still so) family friend to come in while Daddy was at work. The thing was, this woman was childless and clueless. She was a great cook, and the food was good. But all she wanted to do was play with the baby (her biological clock was ticking madly). At the end of the day, my little sisters would be dead asleep, and the kitchen would be a sink full of dishes, the table not cleared. She'd refuse to back up my insistence that my sisters and I clean up after dinner. So I'd slave away while everyone else screwed off. One day, Daddy found me crying. I explained. He went to Mom's hospital bed, came home, and told the friend that her services were no longer needed. I'm sure her feelings were hurt, but without her, my sisters did what I asked without question, we got to play with the (very) new baby (she went to sleeping through the night very early, thank heaven, but she was a bottle baby so I could handle that when it happened.) My mom said, "Claire, why didn't you say something to Daddy earlier?"

Duh. Gee, ask for what you want. You may not always get it, but if you don't say something, I guarantee there aren't too many people out there with ESP who are going to divine what the problems are in your life if you don't tell them.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:45 PM   #13
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Fiona, I have a couple of elderly shut-in friends. One is totally crippled from RA, the other is legally blind and has broken her hip & had replacement. The RA lady does as much as she can, which isn't much, but she does. The blind/hip replacement lady whines at me sometimes. Other people have great recoveries from hip replacement (as a matter of fact everyone I know has). I just told her, you don't exercise at all, you're content to live in that chair unless I bring you out for our weekly social hour, you resisted all PT, you resist eating a good diet. Forget it. Unfortunately, I think at least one of her care-givers just finds it easier to let her sit there and do everything for her when it isn't necessary (I'm there for an hour or so twice a week to read for her, their care-givers often use that hour to take a much-deserved break). I, of course, do not. If they can do it themselves, they do it themselves for that hour.

What I'm getting at is I wonder if my friend will ever have a "Duh!" moment? She's 79 and I honestly don't think it's beyond her to have better balance and walking if she'd just work on it a little. I actually talked to her physical therapists at one point, and she agreed. Case was proven when she recently took a plane trip with her daughter (who does not live in the area and comes for visits once or twice a year), and when we did our social hour last week, her walking was vastly improved. Get up and MOVE! But I don't think you can force a "duh" moment.
It's been my experience that the frail, old lady in the bed can move and move well on the day of discharge. They are dressed, have their makeup on and are packed waiting at the door and just yesterday they were too weak to grab a tissue. They are just like everyone else, you give them an inch and they will take a mile.

It's funny how some change from one set of staff to another. They know who to milk for sympathy and who will make them do for themselves. We have one now who is a drama queen, she makes such a todo about her wheelcahir during the day while therapy, etc. are around...yet once the dayshift goes home she is up and down the halls with her walker. I get to see both shifts.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:52 PM   #14
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My ah hah moment is remembering my password to get back to DC .
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:05 PM   #15
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i think my wife has ah-ha moment with cell phone every day, she either forgets it at home, or she cannot here it becasue it is in her purse. Now I know why. Thanks.
Hey, that's YOUR aha moment!
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:05 PM   #16
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My ah hah moment is remembering my password to get back to DC .
I never do. Whenever something happens I have to ask for it!
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:09 PM   #17
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Hey, that's YOUR aha moment!
it is, you are absolutelly right.
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Old 08-01-2011, 04:03 PM   #18
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Wow some great answers here!
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Old 08-01-2011, 05:09 PM   #19
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My grandma did everything for my grandpa, including tying his shoes for him. When she went into the hospital for gall bladder surgery, her sister, my great aunt, was entrusted with his care. Great Aunt informed him that she was NOT going to tie his shoes for him, if he couldn't dress himself, he could go naked for all she cared. By the time Grandma got out of the hospital, Grandpa was rinsing his own dishes and making his own snacks. Along with tying his own shoes and dressing himself. Of course, he reverted once Grandma got well enough to take care of him again!
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Old 08-01-2011, 05:20 PM   #20
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I have an Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ha moment every time I eat a Chocolate Twuffle
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