"The Cats Of Stony River" by Joyce G. Reilly

[CatPat]

Got my daily dose of talking cats...I am never going to ask my cats if they can talk.

Joyce sold almost 100 copies of this to local people and friends here and some them said the same of this! Ha!

I have asked my cats if they can talk. I did not get much of an answer of it.

More to come! There are 13 or 14 chapters to this!

I am very happy to it being enjoyed!

With love,
~Cat

 

[CatPat]

“Hey,” Paul said after a few moments. “I meant to ask you – do you want to take classes too?”

Zeus’s eyes brightened. “I’d love to, Paul, but they aren’t free, you know. Some are quite expensive. Did you know Joyce started a syndicated column just to pay for their education? It can get pricey.”

“Is that why she did that? I thought she just loved writing. Isn’t she working on a book too?”

“She is.”

“What kind of book?” asked Paul.

“Pook said she’s writing a fictional account of talking cats, but Joyce thinks she’s a lousy writer. Saav told her that a good editor could fix that if the story itself is good.”

“I think that’s true. So, think you might be interested in some classes? Education’s important…to all sentient beings, whoever they are.”

“I like the way your attitude is changing toward sentience. I’ll look it up later and we’ll see what’s available. Thanks, Paul,” purred Zeus, smiling.

Paul gave his favorite cat a grin. “Well, I’m trying, anyway. This is pretty new to me.”

Zeus shrugged. “New to me, too. What’s very nice is that my pads on my right paw don’t ache from handling that desktop mouse any more.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And I look forward to meals a lot more now. You give me some good things and a variety of them. I used to dream about really sharing meals with you, like we started doing now,” the cat confided.

“Did you? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m not sure, Paul. But that night you came in and said you wished I could talk, I heard something…odd in your voice. I knew it was time to speak up.”

“Can you explain that?” asked Paul.

Zeus shook his head. “No. Not any more than I can explain feline instincts or even why I’m here.”

“But you know why you’re here. My sister found your mom and you and your two brothers at the shelter. They caught her in a feral cat cage and saw she was pregnant so they took her in and put her and you guys up for adoption, remember?”

“I know that part. But why you? Why am I here with you? Why did you choose me? How come we’re talking and sharing books and all? You want to try explaining that? There’s a lot of talking cats, but just how many get this? Tell me that.”

“I can’t.”

 

[CatPat]

“See what I mean?” Zeus smiled.

“Yes, I do. Maybe it’s a higher plan than ours,” Paul offered.

“Or a way of nature that we have no knowledge about,” added Zeus.

“That, too. Buddy, you really need to go to school – you’re pretty damn smart,” said Paul.

Zeus winked at him. “Then we’ll look all that up later and find something suitable.”

Paul nodded, and they went back to their books.


About thirty minutes later, the phone rang. Paul picked it up, and sat straight up in the recliner.

"What? Who...we'll be right over," he said, and hung up. "C'mon."

Zeus was right on his heels as Paul grabbed his jacket, wallet, and keys. "What happened?"

"That was Belle. She and Bart are alone tonight with Meows, and someone broke into the shop. Bart and Meows tore the guy to shreds. Belle called 911, tried Carrie's and Suzanna's cell phones but no answer, and so she called me."

"Where's Carrie and Suzanna?"

"They were going to an environmental seminar at the college tonight, and probably turned their phones down or off," replied Paul. "We'll go to the shop and see what we can do until they get back."

"Okay."

They climbed into Paul's four-wheel-drive Honda SUV, and backed out of the garage into the heavy snowfall.

"Oh no. You driving in snow. We're going to die," muttered Zeus, digging his claws into the upholstery.

"Don't you start that!"

"Well, it's true. You're a horrible driver even in good weather. Watch those trees over here!"

"I see the trees. Knock it off, or I'll leave you at home next time."

"No you won't. You can't even get out of the driveway without help."

"Well, I made it for years without help before!" snarled Paul.

"You just got lucky. So did everyone else sharing the road with you. Mind staying in your own lane?"

"I AM in my own lane! Stop the back-seat driving or I will make you get out and walk."

"No you won't. Whoa! Take it easy on these curves! I don't want to be a cat pancake!" yelled Zeus.

"Next time I drive you anywhere, I'll gag you first," Paul threatened.

 

[CatPat]

"No you won't. Can't you hire a driver? We both might live longer," Zeus suggested.

"No, I don't need to hire a driver! Will you shut up?"

"Gaaahhhh! Slow down! Did we just slide? Hey, take it easy, willya!"

"No, we did not slide. I'm only going fifteen miles an hour!"

"That's too fast. Look out for the guardrail! You're too close over here!"

"Zeus, if you don't cut that out, I'm going to throw your furry butt out the window!"

"Don't even think about it."

"Maybe I'll look for cat gags on E-Bay."

"Oh, ha ha. Does your new lady friend know how dangerous you really are?"

"I'm not dangerous! And will you get off the lady friend thing?"

"Aw, a little shy? Tsk. So, why are you so sensitive about her? Must be a reason," Zeus said.

"I'm NOT sensitive! Why can't you mind your own business?!" snarled Paul.

"Because I'm a cat. I'm curious. So, you're in denial, then. Have you thought about getting some counseling for that?"

"I don't need counseling! I am not in denial! Mind your own business," Paul snapped.

"My my, listen to that little outburst. If that's not full-blown denial, I don't know what is. Does your lady friend know you're in denial?"

"If you bring that up one more time..."

"What are you going to do? Cry or something? Oooo, scary."

"You do this on purpose, don't you?!" Paul said, exasperated.

"Of course I do. Did you know your face turns red and that little vein up there sticks out when you get mad? It's pretty funny."

"I HONESTLY liked you better before you talked!"

"No you didn't. Hey, look at all the cops!" said Zeus, as they pulled up to the shop.

"Wait a minute. I'm going to park in the back. You can go up the back stairs to the apartment ... there's too many cops down here and the cats are probably hiding upstairs. I'll do what I can til Carrie gets home," said Paul, continuing down the street and around the corner to the alley.

"Yeah, I don't guess the cops would appreciate a cat underfoot. Let us know what happens," said Zeus as Paul parked the SUV.

"I will."

 

[PrincessFiona60]

When cats attack...can't wait to see how the burglar looks...bet the boys tore him apart.

 

[CatPat]

When cats attack...can't wait to see how the burglar looks...bet the boys tore him apart.

Yes! And this is a large surprise!

More to come! Ha!

With love,
~Cat

 

[CatPat]

Inside the shop was chaos. The detective was trying to find fingerprints and other clues and the police officers were questioning a couple of people on the street. The glass in the front door was shattered all over the floor. Upstairs, Zeus found Belle, Bart, and Meows under the couch.

"Hey, what happened?" he asked as he slid under with them. They were glad to see him, and Belle nosed at him, purring.

Less than an hour ago, the cats had heard breaking glass downstairs in the shop. Bart and Meows found the burglar as Belle called 911. The two tomcats had done some pretty serious damage to someone, according to them and from the blood still on them that Zeus saw. He was just a boy, and the two cats were more than enough to scare him off. Bart and Meows put the kid's age at about 12.

Zeus sighed. "That's too young to be breaking into shops."

Meows nodded. "We felt sorry for him, but at first, in the dark, we couldn't tell how old he was. We just knew he was breaking in."

"Well, he took a chance, breaking in. Good thing you guys weren't a pair of very hungry and abused Rottweilers or something. It could be worse," Zeus pointed out.

"I didn't think of that," said Bart.

Paul slipped into Carrie's apartment, using the spare key she had given him. "Cats?" he whispered. They crept silently out from under the couch.

"Holy ----!!" Paul saw the blood all over Bart and Meows. "Are you guys okay?"

"Yes, thank you, we are fine," said Meows.

"This isn't our blood," said Bart.

Paul picked up and cuddled the frightened Belle. "Geez, fellas, that is a lot of blood. Did you get a look at the guy?"

"Yes," said Meows, and he and Bart told Paul everything they saw.

Paul sat and looked at the two tomcats, thinking.

"You have the clue to the burglar right on your coats. Don't take that blood off yet. So you say he's a boy, about twelve years old, skinny with brown hair, wearing a blue flannel shirt, black ski jacket with red stripes, jeans...what about shoes? Boots?"

Bart and Meows looked at each other.

"I don't recall, exactly," said Meows.

Bart sighed. "I can tell you I smelled suede near the floor, and Carrie doesn't have anything down there that would smell like that."

"Okay, suede footwear. That's good. But guys, I got to get you to the cops...somehow, with that blood on you. And with the description. Hold on a

 

[CatPat]

sec. Belle, can Carrie's phone show up on caller ID? I don't remember if it does or not."

"No," she said.

"I'll have to keep it under three minutes, then. Okay, be right back. Don't move."

Paul set Belle down and went into the computer room and called the police station and left an anonymous tip on their CrimeSolvers tape of the description of the suspect. He hung up, and came back out.

"That's done. Meows and Bart, do you trust me?"

"Yes," said Bart.

"Implicitly," replied Meows.

"If I get a detective up here, and tell him that you two are trained to protect the store, would you let him get a sample of your fur with the blood on it? DO NOT say a word, I mean it. Dummy up, act maybe real hissy and irritated, play it up like two fierce tomcats who just got really mad. Follow me?"

Bart and Meows looked at each other. Bart grinned. Meows smirked.

"We can certainly do that," said Meows.

"Gladly," Bart smiled.

"Good. I'll be back. Now fluff up and get mad," said Paul, heading out.

A few moments later, he arrived with the detective.

"I came up here to check her apartment, I have a spare key. I was in town and saw all the mess here at the shop, and I came in to see what was happening. I don't think anyone came in here, the door was locked. But those cats over there are actually trained to protect Carrie. Look at the blood. Do you think they could have attacked the perps? Or is that their blood and the burglar hurt them? You're the police, I have no idea," said Paul.

What a great liar, thought Zeus from under the couch with Belle.

Meows and Bart were on the couch, fluffed up, angry and hissing. The detective's eyes got wide.

"Man, what a couple of mean cats! Have they ever attacked anyone before?" he asked.

"I don't know. They've hissed at me a few times, but haven't really hurt me."

"They'd be big enough to hurt someone pretty good, I think. But I really don't want to get near those two. They look mean. If you hold one of them down, I can get a sample...as long as that other big beast doesn't eat me," said the detective.

"Well, I'll try. They sort of know me, I visit Carrie often," said Paul, winking at Bart.

 

[CatPat]

The detective and Paul moved toward the snarling toms, and Meows, seeing the wink, backed up, hissing. Bart, looking Paul in the eye, fluffed up in rage and started to growl. Meows leaped to the floor and under the couch. Quick as a flash, Paul grabbed Bart, who howled and snarled and screamed in fury, slashing at the air with huge claws bared, deliberately missing Paul.

"Grab a handful of fur and hurry!!" yelled Paul.

The detective yanked a few good-sized tufts of fur out of Bart's back and Paul let him go. Bart flew down the hall, yowling and growling.

"God, that is one mean cat. You okay there?" said the detective, putting the bloody yellow and white tufts into a bag and labeling it.

"Whew! Yeah, I'm okay. Did you get enough there?" asked Paul.

"Sure did. I appreciate it, Mr. Draper. This might help quite a bit. You're sure nothing up here is disturbed?"

"Just two cats, I think," smiled Paul.

"They're disturbed, all right. I've never seen cats that mean," said the detective.

Paul walked him back downstairs, and Bart came out from the hall laughing.

Meows, Belle, and Zeus came out from under the couch, and all four cats rolled on the floor howling with glee.

"Woooo, that was great, Meows!" howled Bart.

"You looked like you had rabies," laughed Meows.

"I didn't know Paul was such a cool liar!" whooped Zeus.

"That cop was scared to death," giggled Belle.

"If he only knew," roared Bart, sending them all off in gales of laughter again.
Finally they calmed down a little, still snickering and giggling, and settled in the computer room for a wash-up.

The door opened, and Paul came in, chuckling to himself.

"Cats?" he called softly.

"In here," hissed Bart.

Paul walked in, and they all laughed again, together.

"What a performance, fellas!" said Paul.

"Thank you. You did quite well yourself," Meows said.

"Bart, are you hurt? He did yank some fur out of you," asked Paul, looking at Bart's back.

"I'm fine. I expected he would do that," Bart assured Paul.

Zeus nuzzled Paul's hand. "You're a great liar. Very smooth, I must say."

"I think you guys did great," purred Belle.

"Hopefully this will help ID the would-be burglar," said Bart.

 

[CatPat]

"The detective said he's putting the word out to the hospital and emergency clinic to be looking out for a boy of about 12 with serious scratches and possible cat bites. You guys are up-to-date on your shots, aren't you?" asked Paul.

"Absolutely," said Meows.

"Yes," said Bart.

"Good. The detective seems to think that there's a possibility the kid's parents may try to sue Carrie, but as long as it happened in here during the break-in, he doesn't think a judge will be too sympathetic. They didn't get fingerprints in the shop, and it looks like he bled on you and probably on his clothes because they didn't find blood anywhere," said Paul. "And there was none of your fur outside, either, so he's convinced you scratched him up defending the shop and apartment inside."

"Can they take us away from Carrie?" asked Bart.

"No. Only if you had done this outside the shop property and had no shots. And had no reason to protect anything. Besides, if they tried, they'd have to find you first," Paul said. "Don't worry."

"Good thing Carrie put that 'Beware of Attack Cat' sign you gave her as a joke for her birthday up in the shop window," Meows pointed out.

"Oh, that's right, she did. And it's right next to the door, you can't miss it," laughed Paul.

"Too bad the kid didn't take it seriously," put in Zeus.

"What time is it?" asked Paul, looking around the room for a clock.

"Almost nine o'clock," said Meows. "Why?"

"I need to get to the hardware store and fix Carrie's door. Good thing they're open til ten. I'll be right back. If Carrie and Suzanna get here before I get back, tell them where I went and that I'll be back to fix the door," said Paul.

"Will do, partner," laughed Bart.

They all chuckled, and Paul went back out the door.

"I like him," sighed Belle. The others nodded.

"He's a good guy," said Zeus.

Carrie and Suzanna drove up about ten minutes later to the sight of the shop lights ablaze and two police cars and a van in front of it.

"Oh my God," breathed Carrie.

Suzanna slammed on the brakes. "Go. I'll be right there."

Carrie threw open the door and vaulted out of the truck. Suzanna whipped into a space between one of the police cars and the van, and got out.

 

[CatPat]

"What happened here?" Carrie called out. The detective looked up.

"Are you Carrie Sullivan?" he asked.

"Yes, I am. What's happened?"

"You had a break-in, ma'am. I'm Detective James Freeman. Apparently, from what we gather from the evidence and an unidentified witness, a boy of about twelve broke your window on your door and got in. One of your friends happened to be in town, and checked your apartment. It was not gotten into, but apparently your tomcats came down here and tore the kid up and sent him back out the door," he explained.

"Which friend? Who?"

"A Paul Draper."

"Oh, good. Okay. Where is he?" she asked.

"He said if you came in before he got back, he's gone to the hardware store and he'll be back to fix your door," said the detective.

"My tomcats tore this kid up? What do you mean?" asked Carrie, confused.

"Ma'am, those are two of the meanest cats I ever saw in my life. That yellow one almost ripped your friend to shreds. Both of them had blood on them, and we didn't find any useful fingerprints here in the shop, so I needed a fur sample to help ID the kid, if he shows up at the ER. It also proves the kid had to have been inside your shop when the cats attacked. That will help you later if you need it."

Carrie turned and looked at Suzanna.

"I'll be right back," said Suzanna, and went out the back and up the steps to Carrie's apartment.


"Cats! Meows! Where are you? Oh my God, Meows, Bart! Are you okay?" Suzanna was shocked at seeing their bloody fur.

"We're fine," they laughed.

"What did you do?" Suzanna asked.

They told her all about it, and soon she was laughing.

"You hissed at PAUL?" she asked Bart.

"Well, I had to. I even growled and snarled. I didn't hurt him, Suzanna, I promise."

Belle told her about trying to call her cell phone, and calling 911 and Paul for help. Suzanna picked up the little heroine and praised her for a job well done, and listened to the cats gleefully describe the performance.

Downstairs, Carrie was perplexed.

"But my cats are not mean! Really, they might have scratched a little or something, but --"

 

[CatPat]

"Oh no," he interrupted. "These are no sweet little housecats. I have two cats myself. You don't have cats, you have raging beasts, and I hope I never, ever see those two again."

"Did they hurt you?" she asked, totally confused.

"No, but if your friend hadn't held that yellow monster down, he'd have torn me up bigtime. Good thing you have a warning sign in the window here. I used to think that was a joke, but not after tonight. I’ve seen nicer grizzly bears.”

The man did look a little shaken, and Carrie just couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I -- ah, I need to run upstairs for a moment. I'll be right back."

"Okay," said the detective.

Carrie ran up the steps and went in, finding Suzanna and the cats laughing.

"Carrie, listen to this," said Suzanna.

Belle and Zeus began to tell Carrie what happened, and when they got to the part where Paul grabbed Bart and Bart went into his theatrics, Carrie began to laugh. She couldn't believe these two sweet, intelligent and loving animals had turned into snarling, fangs-baring, flesh-ripping monsters.

"Oh my God, no wonder that detective is terrified of you two," she laughed. "Oh, that is funny! Good thing Paul thought of that."

"He did real well, acting like he was real leery of us and all," smiled Bart. "He even said we hissed at him a few times."

"We needed an excuse to get the blood on them to the detective, so big mean attack cats seemed to fit the bill," said Zeus.

"I enjoyed myself," added Meows.

Carrie was still chuckling. "Well, I've got to get back down there, but I just couldn't figure out why he thought you two were so awful."

"I'll put on some coffee," said Suzanna. "We'll stay and help you clean up."

"Thanks, Suzanna," Carrie said, and went back downstairs.

There was nothing better than cats and great friends, she thought.

"You don't have to keep it, Carrie, I don't know if you even like it," said Paul, as he hung the new door to the shop.

"I love it! I would have gotten it myself!" she exclaimed.

The new door was antique white with a reinforced stained-glass oval window in it. Suzanna liked it too.

"I think it looks great," she said, sipping her coffee.

"Please let me pay you back for it," Carrie insisted.

 

[CatPat]

"No," said Paul, gently but firmly. "It's a gift. An early Christmas present, really, if you like it that much. Otherwise, I can take it back and exchange it for one you want."

"Don't you dare," said Carrie. "I love it. Thank you. And thank you for your help tonight -- you and Zeus."

"No problem. That's what friends are for," he smiled.

"Hey, look," said Suzanna, opening and closing the new door. "This one doesn't stick or squeak like the last one."

"Of course not." Paul looked offended. "I put it up."

The women laughed at him. Ralph poked his head in the back. "Cats! Bart! Belle! Zeus! Dinner's on!"

"Hey, Ralph!" Suzanna called. "Look at Carrie's new door real quick."

Ralph walked to the front of the shop. "Carrie, that looks great. You've always had such a keen eye for decorating. It's just perfect, dear."

Carrie cleared her throat. "I didn't pick it out. Paul did, and brought it in and hung it."

"Well, Paul, seems you have a talent too. Very good!" he boomed, smiling.

"Thank you," smiled Paul.

Ralph called the cats again for dinner, and they came charging down the stairs and into the restaurant's kitchen, where he set their plates down.

Carrie sat down. "I wonder if they'll find the kid who broke in."

Paul shrugged. "I don't know."

"In a way, I hope they don't, and the cats taught him a lesson, and he straightens up," Carrie said.

"That would be the ideal scenario," agreed Suzanna.

"I wonder how badly he's scratched up," Paul said.

"I hope the parents don't sue," Carrie worried.

Suzanna frowned. "I hope not too. But that's possible."

Paul shook his head. "What lawyer would take a case that crazy? Attack cats scratching up a 12-year-old burglar. That's kind of reaching, isn't it?"

"Oh, there are attorneys out there who would take something like that. On the off chance they actually won, they'd be famous. People would go, 'Oh yeah, he's the one who won the attack cat case,'" said Suzanna. "Believe me, I know some of these types."

"Wonderful," sighed Carrie.

"Don't worry, Carrie, it probably won't happen," Suzanna assured her.

"I hope not," she replied.

 

[CatPat]

Suzanna looked thoughtful. "You know what? This is weird. I just got the strangest feeling that this is going to turn into a positive thing for us all."

"That is weird," said Paul. "I have the same feeling, Suzanna."

They exchanged a look.

Carrie smiled at her friends. She was still in shock over the break-in and was glad they were there with her, weird feelings and all.











End of Chapter 9

 

[CatPat]

Chapter 10 – Snow and Turtles

The next day, the town woke up to being snowed in. Several inches of snow had fallen overnight, and Paul stood at the huge livingroom bay window admiring the snowy scene and enjoying the heat from the flames in the fireplace. The steaming cup of coffee warmed his hands as he looked out.

Zeus came in, yawning. "What's for breakfast?"

"I don't know. I was going to see what you wanted."

"Well, you certainly learn fast. How about a sardine and cheese omelet?"

Paul almost choked on his coffee. "Gross! Are you serious?"

Zeus looked at him as if he were crazy. "Of course."

"With sour cream?"

"That would be a very nice touch," said Zeus, licking his chops.

Paul sighed. "Okay...but I'm fixing mine first. I don't want my breakfast to taste like sardines."

"Hmm. You might like it if you tried it."

"I think I'll pass. C'mon, I'll warm up some milk for you," said Paul, heading for the kitchen.

Zeus smiled. He knew he was the luckiest feline in the world, and he was grateful.


Suzanna awoke in the cottage to find Meows staring out the window.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"Oh, no. I was admiring the snow. Come look, Suzanna, it's beautiful."

She got up and put on her robe, and joined Meows at the window. "Oh, wow, yeah it is."

"The world looks so clean and peaceful, doesn't it?" he smiled.

She scratched his head and ears. "It sure does."

"It seems like a gift, after that mess in the shop last night," said Meows.

"True. Speaking of, that's a bit cold for paws. I'll take you to Carrie's today and pick you up," she said.

"Don't try to drive in this, Suzanna. I'll be fine, it's not far."

"I'll wrap you up and carry you. How's that? I get exercise, you'll stay warm and dry," suggested Suzanna.

He smiled and purred. "Can we stop at the coffeeshop? I was wondering if I could get a book for Belle I saw in there the other day."

"Sure. What is it?"

"It's a nice collection of classic poems. She is learning to write poetry, and I thought she'd like that," Meows explained.

"That's sweet of you. Do you want anything for yourself? You can have some new books, too. You haven't gotten any lately," said Suzanna.

"I really don't have a lot of time to read lately, with teaching Belle and my own online course in business accounting and all, but thank you anyway," Meows said with a hand-nuzzle.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I asked Smudge and Django if they could talk...they just ignored me. I'm afraid to ask Latté, she's the only one that was found on the street...

 

[CatPat]

I asked Smudge and Django if they could talk...they just ignored me. I'm afraid to ask Latté, she's the only one that was found on the street...

According to Joyce's book, perhaps it is best not to ask. Street cats seem to be very odd, yes?

With love,
~Cat

 

[Dawgluver]

I asked Beagle if she could talk. She's a former street dog. She didn't say anything.

 

[CatPat]

I asked Beagle if she could talk. She's a former street dog. She didn't say anything.

So far we are very lucky, yes? But to be prepared, perhaps cat and dog owners must check of the homeowner's policies. There may be dog bites coverages for one time, but I have not seen the coverages for cat attacks.

Perhaps to lobby the insurance companies for covererage of cat scratches and bites will become an insurance policy movement! Ha!

I am sure our state insurance attorneys generals have not not thought of this.

I did ask Lilly if she could speak. She only led me to her treats tin and wagging her tail.

I suppose we have regular pets, yes?

Love,
~Cat

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I asked Latté, and she looked at me with a face that said, "Well, what do you think?" I think she's shining me on.