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Old 10-01-2006, 10:39 PM   #11
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My husband, Seth, & I talked about this today - we've been talking about it every day but we kinda reached a final decision today. More than anything, Seth wants me to be a SAHW - I want that, too. He's a self-employed computer programmer/consultant. Several years ago, the bottom dropped out for him & many like him - and he was no longer able to support both of us. At that time I returned to work.

Things are going much better for him these days - he usually has more work than he can keep up with. So, we think we'll be OK if I don't have a job outside the home for awhile. The problem with his work is - there is no weekly/biweekly paycheck to count on. You're at the mercy of the clients - when they decide to pay - so things are a little unstable & that makes me kinda nuts!

I haven't completely cut my ties with the bank. My boss really didn't want me to leave & when she found out that I have off Monday at the home, she hinted that she would still like me to work at the bank on Mondays for awhile. I agreed to that. I'm pretty sure I could go back to the bank but I would feel too embarrassed - for one thing - someone was hired to take my place - the only applicant. I imagine they could find a different position for her within the bank but it just wouldn't seem fair.

For another thing - I received a very nice send-off party - money was collected & I was given 3 chef's jackets & a chef's shirt, along with 4 giant white pizzas from my favorite pizza place. My boss gave me a dozen beautiful roses, a $50 gift certificate to my favorite pizza place & a card with a very heartfelt handwritten message. I'm embarrassed to tell everyone that I made a mistake & failed.

What would I do if I wanted to go back? Pay everyone back who gave any money towards my going away party?! When I see my boss at the bank tomorrow, should I just tell her that I was psyching her out when I said I was leaving?! Nah! I can't do it - I'm just going to tell my boss what's going on & that I'm available to help get the new person up to speed. After that, I don't know.
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Old 10-01-2006, 11:14 PM   #12
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Just to clarify some things:

In my interview I explained just what I was looking for - to put a personal touch on some things & just make people happy by feeding them. I got the impression that that was very possible - that didn't turn out to be true. I'm supposed to do things the way they've always been done.

As far as the hours go - I thought that I could work well with them. After I took the job I found out that they wanted 3 more hours of my time & I would only be paid for 1.5 of them. I am aware that there are regulations about how long you can work without taking a half hour break. At 6 or less hours, you're OK with a couple breaks. Longer than that, you need to be off the clock for a half hour. Those extra few hours don't sound like much but I'm getting nothing done around my house. By the time I get home from work & get dinner for my husband, it's easily 8 PM by the time he eats. Later, if I have to go to the grocery store or do anything else before I go home.

I'm already bored by doing the same things over & over again. My life there consists of Chicken Salad, Turkey Salad, Egg Salad, Tuna Salad, Seafood Salad...sandwiches & some sort of soup. Cream of whatever-vegetable Soup.

This is not what I was looking for. I feel so bad because I really thought it was.

As for catering - that's what I've always wanted to do. My son & I had plans to do it together. And SO many people have urged me to go in that direction. But I'm always scared away by the prospect of starting my own catering service: all of the rules & regulations that would apply. Insurance & all kindsa little details.

I don't believe I could use my own kitchen so I would have to find a commercial kitchen somewhere - that's just for starters!

I guess if I become a SAHW, I would have time to do my research & pursue the catering thing.
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Old 10-02-2006, 12:18 AM   #13
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[
For another thing - I received a very nice send-off party - money was collected & I was given 3 chef's jackets & a chef's shirt, along with 4 giant white pizzas from my favorite pizza place. My boss gave me a dozen beautiful roses, a $50 gift certificate to my favorite pizza place & a card with a very heartfelt handwritten message. I'm embarrassed to tell everyone that I made a mistake & failed.

What would I do if I wanted to go back? Pay everyone back who gave any money towards my going away party?! When I see my boss at the bank tomorrow, should I just tell her that I was psyching her out when I said I was leaving?! Nah! I can't do it - I'm just going to tell my boss what's going on & that I'm available to help get the new person up to speed. After that, I don't know.[/quote]

Actually, no, you didn't make a mistake and you didn't fail. You've/your're giving it your best shot. The job may not have been clearly represented. And, yes, you did get a nice send-off party, complete with gifts.

Now, take the lemon and make it into lemonade. Do take your position back and trust that the person who took your position could be moved to another one in the organization.

As a stop-gap measure to receiving the party and gifts, offer to host an "I'm back home" party at the bank and cater it yourself. This will allow you to repay everyone's kindness at your departure and will also showcase your culinary skills. Kind of a hands-on advertisement to what you can do with your cooking. This might lead to other catering jobs. Business lunches/functions, birthday or anniversary special meals, etc. Turn this cloud into your silver lining. Don't eat crow. Eat caviar!
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Old 10-02-2006, 03:44 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by Corinne
In my interview I explained just what I was looking for - to put a personal touch on some things & just make people happy by feeding them. I got the impression that that was very possible - that didn't turn out to be true.
Corinne, just my two cents but maybe you should give the food business another try. You didn't give yourself a fair chance with the nursing home. So many things were working against you there. And you never got to do what you wanted and see if it will really fulfill you. Until you actually get to 'put a personal touch in feeding people' and discover that it's not your cup of tea, then you may want to consider going back to your former line of work. Otherwise, the fact that you've made such a big move after so much thought, with the support of your husband, colleagues, and the dream you and your son shared, I say give it another go. But please, give your brave dream a fair chance! You have all my respect and admiration, Corinne.
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