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Old 12-07-2006, 11:50 AM   #1
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The Purina Diet...

got this off another board:

After all the great food we've had for Thanksgiving, we might all need
to try this diet!!! I don't know when I've laughed so hard!

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in
line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works
is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why
I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.


I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
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Old 12-07-2006, 11:53 AM   #2
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Hahaha! That's great.
When I saw this topic, I thought something weird was going on.

Thanks for sharing. :D

Zzyxk - Short baked goods slideshow! Homemade
Please check it out.
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:46 PM   #3
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Well you gave me a good laugh. Thanks.

Jill and Jolie
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Old 12-07-2006, 02:32 PM   #4
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Makeup is now ruined - durn near wet myself - I'm gonna chuckle all day long!!! Thanks for a great laugh!
I'm just lookin' for my "cheese"!
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Old 12-07-2006, 02:39 PM   #5
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I had that in an email. I still hit the floor laughing when I read it.
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Old 12-07-2006, 03:41 PM   #6
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Thanks for the belly laugh!
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 12-08-2006, 06:26 PM   #7
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Very cute, thanks for sharing!

Michele Marie
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