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Old 04-06-2015, 09:41 AM   #71
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No apologies needed and I am not offended , just expressed my opinion .

I didn't know your personal circumstances Addie but I am truly very sorry that this is a difficult time for you . X




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Old 04-06-2015, 05:13 PM   #72
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No apologies needed and I am not offended , just expressed my opinion .

I didn't know your personal circumstances Addie but I am truly very sorry that this is a difficult time for you . X

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Yesterday I made the mistake of watching a movie with Susan Hayward and William Lunden called "On Top Of The Mountain". I had seen it many years ago. About 20 years or so. I had forgotten most of it and the fact that there are two scenes where parents lose a child. One from drowning and the other through a miscarriage. If I had remembered those scenes, I would never have even given one second to thinking of watching it. I haven't broken down like that since the day I had to identify her body. Fortunately I was alone here and could really let go. I am talking deep wrenching hard sobs. So hopefully, I have it all out of my system now and can move forward. I don't know why it has been so hard this year. Some years the two events go by and I don't even remember to think about it. I can even sit here and write about it and not even get upset. So maybe I needed yesterday. And for that I am thankful.
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:03 AM   #73
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Addie...I am pleased to read (in the post above this one) that you had the opportunity to release much pent up grief. Hopefully this has provided closure for you.


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Old 04-07-2015, 01:26 PM   #74
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Addie...I am pleased to read (in the post above this one) that you had the opportunity to release much pent up grief. Hopefully this has provided closure for you.


Thank you. I am feeling so much better. All these years and I didn't even realize it was what I really needed. I am the only surviving member of my generation in my family. No aunts, cousins, etc. Only the next generation. So I have always tried to put on a strong front. I am the one who makes all the hard decisions, calms someone down when they are upset, etc. "Ask Addie. She will know what to do." And I do.

So finally after losing both parents, a child, and my sister in the past 50 years, I gave in and broke down completely. It was my turn. I doubt if anyone had been with me, it wouldn't have helped. I didn't need comfort. I needed to give in and not worry about helping some other person. I needed to help myself and I did. I had such a calm when I finally stopped sobbing. I was able to remember all the happy thoughts about her.

Thank you for caring. I do feel so much better now. All these years I have been living with pain. And now it is gone.
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:41 PM   #75
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Oh Addie . :-( well now I apologise , I had no idea . Sounds like you did need a release , sometimes we try so hard to be brave and help others that we can forget about ourselves . Then something triggers those feelings , like a film , plus anniversaries are so difficult, and it comes out , whoosh . I suppose it's probably better that those feelings do come out , rather than holding things in for whatever reason . Take care x
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Old 04-07-2015, 01:52 PM   #76
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Oh Addie . :-( well now I apologise , I had no idea . Sounds like you did need a release , sometimes we try so hard to be brave and help others that we can forget about ourselves . Then something triggers those feelings , like a film , plus anniversaries are so difficult, and it comes out , whoosh . I suppose it's probably better that those feelings do come out , rather than holding things in for whatever reason . Take care x
Thank GQ. And that is exactly what I have been doing all these years. I almost can't believe how good I feel today. Now I can celebrate days regarding my daughter. I can share all the good memories I have of her. And I can finally be grateful for the time I did have with her on this earth. Instead of being angry that five children were orphaned, I can be grateful that she gave me five beautiful grandchildren. And I had the opportunity to finish raising one of them.

Thank you for caring.
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Old 04-07-2015, 05:11 PM   #77
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Addie...that was a lot to endure and for so long. It really feels that you have healed from this long suppressed situation and that this now must be freeing you up and giving you a new lease of life. Wonderful!
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Old 04-07-2015, 08:39 PM   #78
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A movie did it to me too

My late wife was brain injured in 1993. Even though she recovered physically for the most part, I was still her caregiver for 12 years.
We were able to travel a bit, and while on a plane I watched "50 First Dates' with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. It was about a girl who was brain injured and would forget the previous day.
I think I went through 3 Kleenex and 2 cocktail napkins watching it.
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:38 PM   #79
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Aww...SousChef...

I love that movie...every time I hear "Wouldn't It Be Nice" by the Beach Boys I think of that movie. Can kind of relate to that with my late mom.
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Old 09-25-2015, 12:33 AM   #80
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I'm so thankful that my wonderful Himself really pitched in with helping me set up for the garage sale. He hates that kind of stuff, yet he was right beside me dragging stuff from the basement and sitting in the garage with me while waiting for "customers".

Now if I can just get him to start patching and painting around the house before he forgets how to do handyman work. I think I'll let him recover from this week before I ask...
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