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Old 03-05-2008, 03:52 PM   #1
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Unhappy The ties are broken

Well, the ties are broken with oldest son
I don't know how to feel. I'm numb and unfeeling, then, I'm sad, but, I'm not hysterical, as I thought I would be over this. He called me to tell me to take him off the insurance, which we were already going to do that if he didn't bring us money tomorrow, then, told me the car is trashed and it's the dealers problem now, not his, then said, bye. No I love you, as me and my boys have ALWAYS ended a phone call or when leaving. Just hung up. From what I am told, he's on drugs again and actually hanging out with the person that stabbed him!!!!
Seems that he's been hanging out with him for a while now and lying to us about where he has been. Driving under the influence and all. I'm glad that he wasn't messed up the night of his accident. At least I have the peace of mind knowing that he was searched and given field sobriety on the spot.
I've lost him and it hurts. I bought a new lock set for the front door today. I guess, mentally, I've prepared myself for this with him. He's always been the one that didn't let us in. He's a follower, not a leader. That has always scared me to death. I just pray that God watches over him.
Sorry, just needed to talk to someone. I'm off today, therefore, alone.


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Old 03-05-2008, 03:54 PM   #2
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I wish I knew what to say, Stacy. But I will be thinking of you and your family, and remembering you in my prayers.

Wine is the food that completes the meal.
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:06 PM   #3
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Oh Stacy, I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make the hurt go away. Know in your heart that he knows you love him. God is wacthing over him, we are praying for him and you. He will guide and protect him, help him to see, help him to someday choose the path that He has chosen for him. Believe. Love and Peace, Dawn
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:09 PM   #4
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good or a pain in the fanny, our kids grow up and leave home one way or the other..No matter how they choose to do it, it makes you ache inside..You will learn to live with it..I did, we all do..It's just those first few months every time the phone rings or you hear a knock at the door, or a key in the lock, first you quickly pray let nothing be wrong, then hey maybe they changed their minds and are coming home..This will in time settle into happy to see them when they venture by..Yours right now is H bent on doing it his way..Let him..One of these days he will wake up to the fact that he doesn't know it all..Rifts can be mended Stacy, but just let him come to you..Hurt as it does, you've had enough heart ache with this young man..pray for him, love him and just let him fall on his face all by himself..one day he will realize mom and dad aren't so darn bad after all..

I promise it will happen.. I know I had one who had to do it his way...
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:13 PM   #5
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Wow, I don't know what to say except hold on to yourself and the ones you have. You did what you could, he did what he wanted.

You're right, change the locks. Get a small safe and bolt it down. Keep the important stuff locked up.

Don't be afraid to get help, counselor, Priest, Minister, Rabbi, whatever. In many ways this can be tougher than truly losing a loved one. Just remember this. You didn't lose him, he lost you. These things were not your choices.

Take Care

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Old 03-05-2008, 04:21 PM   #6
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Thank you!!

I know that all of what you all have said is true. He left us. He didn't want to go by the rules, because, he's 22 and grown. Yeah, grown, living in our house, not helping with bills or food. He had a car payment and insurance and couldn't even deal with that. I'm okay. I will miss him so very much and it does hurt that he has treated us like this after everything we have done for him when he needed help. I will always love him and be here for him when he falls, but, no more help. I can't do it financial or mentally any longer
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:23 PM   #7
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Stacy, many of us have had very bad problems, similar to yours.

I saw them as a kid.

I can only say God bless.

You don't need advice, you know what you are doing.

Am terribly sorry. But sometimes things work out.

All I can say is best wishes. And that doesn't mean a lot, but it is all I can give.
Before criticizing a person, walk a mile in his shoes - then you are a mile away and you have his shoes!
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:24 PM   #8
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I'm sorry Stacy. I am still praying for your situation. He is young and hopefully has time to change. He sounds so much like the people I told you about in my PMs. One of them has changed, and the other is young and will probably make a lot more mistakes before it is over. Don't give up hope for your son, but don't enable him either. It really is out of both your and his hands right now.

The child I was supposed to tutor today had to cancel, so I will be home all evening if you need to talk, rant, or whatever (PM or email, either one is fine with me). I will be in and out of the room but will check fairly often (this stupid thing has some kind of magnet in it I think!).

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Old 03-05-2008, 04:34 PM   #9
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Ya know, I'm really okay. I think that is what is upsetting me more. The not caring about him being gone. There isn't anymore stress or tension in the house now. It was an argument every night. It got to where I didn't want to come home from work. I know he's alive and I know he's working, he called me from work, it was on the caller id and I know he has a place to live. I hope one day, he will at least know that he was wrong in the way he has treated us.
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:39 PM   #10
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Oh Dear Stacy, How you must hurt - the son of your womb. Only a mother could understand how you feel I guess. I'm crying for you but a man's tears often turn quickly to anger and inability to deal with it, to our own destruction.

I guess there are things we just can not change and don't know why. Bless You

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