The Tyranny of the Home-Cooked Meal

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My first thought after reading the article is that, if true, we've developed into a culture of crybabies. But I also have to wonder where they found some of these people. It's like the author and researchers purposely sought out the worst families they could find.

My wife and I have always worked full time jobs. As the primary cook, I don't recall ever feeling stress about putting a meal on the table. We also made sure we sat down and ate together as a family every night, without disruption from television, gameboys, or cell phones. I don't think we were alone.

It wasn't always "The Waltons," but it certainly wasn't anything like some of the scenarios described, either.

And anyone who cared to complain about the meal was more than welcome to help themselves to peanut butter and bread in the cupboard. ;)
 
Interesting article. I thought this was a little harsh, though...
".....it's expensive and time-consuming and often done for a bunch of ingrates who would rather just be eating fast food anyway." :LOL:

My daughter could be that mom in the pic. A baby on one hip, the oldest one that she's letting help in the kitchen, and the middle one is the one to get the plastic plates on their little table. They're ages 1, 3, and 5 and they can definitely afford them ;), but feeding them is a challenge right now. The oldest loves veggies but isn't a fan of proteins, the middle loves proteins but not a fan of veggies, and the littlest little is, well, one year old and just getting used to non-mashed food as he gets more teeth. :) Hubby is a firefighter and often gone for several days at a time. She has help come in one full day once a week for some relief, and spends it re-grouping, getting caught up on laundry, and spending time with her best friend.

So yes, she does choose to spend some of that time doing something else. :LOL:

She does her best, and is trying to stay away from the hype that says she needs to prepare a well rounded meal every single day. They have their chicken nuggets days, cereal for dinner, and an occasional pizza delivered like most everyone else does. It's not going to hurt as long as it's not every day. :)

I got on a roll here, but you asked what I thought. :LOL:
 
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My parents both worked full-time running their own businesses. To have take out pizza or TV dinners was a TREAT for us. My mother never enjoyed cooking. My father never learned to cook. From the time I was in 9th grade, I was in charge of making supper (once I got home from swim/ski/track practice). Growing up, even with my brothers' hockey schedules and my swim/ski/track schedules, we sat down and ate together. Picky eater? Not allowed. Once my parents bought the restaurant, we'd either gather there after our various after school activities or my mom would bring home meals from the restaurant. Convenience? Yes, there are convenience foods but although I was craving KFC tonight (a craving I have about every 3 years), I opted to dress some so sweet, tender cabbage from the garden.
 
Yup Cheryl, you and Steve are right. Whiny baby brats. And I'm talking about the adults.

I think part of the problem falls on the shoulders of all those cooking shows that are so popular. In half an hour the chef-host prepares a tasty entry, which was preceded by a gourmet quality appetizer and is followed by a dessert worthy of an upscale restaurant's dessert cart. Home cooks are sometimes made to feel ashamed if they reach for dry pasta, a jar of sauce, and those pre-cooked chicken sausages.

The "fresh produce costs too much" has been disproved too. If you buy in-season you can find filling veggies and fruits that will cost less than those convenience foods.

And picky eaters? Don't dance around their taste buds! I never cooked special meals for either of our kids. They too had a PB&J option. When they got older they were also welcome to reheat any leftover that they found to their liking in the refrigerator after they tried the new food under the "two bites" rule. There aren't many foods either of our kids turn their noses up at. They could give Andrew Zimmern a run for him money. ;)
 
preaching to the choir gets expected results.

they lost me with the straw man argument of socio-economic distress.

whatever happened to "parenting is a sacrifice, so..."

my dad never ended that statement. but i've come to realize the second half doesn't have words. it's in your heart.
 
I could never understand the 'fresh produce costs too much' either. (as compared to packaged frozen meals or fast food). I went through a period many years ago when I was so poor I couldn't afford anything but a fresh veggie and dried bean soup. Necessity is the mother of invention.
 
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preaching to the choir gets expected results.

they lost me with the straw man argument of socio-economic distress.

whatever happened to "parenting is a sacrifice, so..."

my dad never ended that statement. but i've come to realize the second half doesn't have words. it's in your heart.

Like.
 
Just about everything you do generates some level of stress.

I think it depends on the circumstances and the individuals. Some men/women may take great pleasure from cooking and find it relaxing or even fulfilling. Others will hate it and do anything to avoid cooking. We personally appreciate the latter as that gave SO an income for many years.

Home cooking dinner and eating together as a family is the best way to go IMHO, although it's not always possible in today's world.

I remember sitting on the front steps with my friends and come three o'clock in the afternoon, the moaning would start. "I am going to have to go in and start supper pretty soon. I have no idea what I am going to make." (During the stay-at-home Moms era.) I gave up trying to figure out why they hated it so much. I loved cooking. Had ever since as a child. But when I became a single mother, I chose to go to work and only received the kids SS checks from their father's account. Then by the time Poo came along, I found myself in the same situation again. I would rush home after work to make sure I got a hot meal on the table for him. The older kids were out of the home and on their own. Now shopping and buying became a chore. Never enough money, never enough time for grocery shopping. It wasn't until he was safely married that I felt that struggle lift. I now had only myself to care for. Or so I thought. My youngest daughter had five children and was always in need of a care package of groceries. And she was working plus receiving support from the father. So I was still shopping for a full size family plus myself.

It just seemed that struggling to buy groceries has always been a never ending battle. But finally, FINALLY, do you hear me? I shop and feed only myself. And sometimes I make something special for the kids. But I don't think it has ever been a burden. :angel:
 
I remember sitting on the front steps with my friends and come three o'clock in the afternoon, the moaning would start. "I am going to have to go in and start supper pretty soon. I have no idea what I am going to make."
After my parents sold their businesses, my mom returned to work 9-5 as a nurse. She worked for a couple of surgeons in a clinic and had to be on call a couple of nights a week. We lived about 5 minutes out-of-town in a mini-subdivision (there were 20 houses on 1 acre lots). Despite having a 7-meal rotation schedule, she'd get home around 5:15, walk to the fridge, open it, and exclaim "I have no idea what we are having for supper tonight!" That image is firmly engrained in my mind. When I talk to her on the phone (if it is before 4:00 p.m.), despite the fact she no longer is in charge of meal preparation, planning, or grocery shopping, she still says that:LOL:. In her more lucid moments, she has confided that she is so glad she no longer has to cook, she hated it. In even more lucid moments when I'm there, she will select the recipe she wants me to make. It is something I try to do--engage her in the meal planning and get her to make the salad (with coaching and lots of help). I also get her to set the table. Our roles have been reversed. As an 8-yr. old child, I had to make the salad and set the table (to this day, I have to think about on which side the forks go being a lefty). And, making lettuce salad is my least favourite activity in the kitchen.
 
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Great article taxy! It's a verbal smack up-side the head to the author of the Slate article. :LOL:

I loved my Mother! I subscribed right about the time they first started publishing it and got it for years. Saved every issue and still had them in boxes in the "attic" space, accessible via pull-down steps in the garage. I ended up letting them go when we moved from OH to MA. I still remember much of what I learned from them, it was interesting whether I've been able to apply that knowledge or not.
 
+1 although, I do empathize with those who have to decide if the last $20 before the next pay check goes for food or gas in the car to get to work and the person doesn't have a cell phone, satellite TV, doesn't smoke, drink, go through drive through, etc., and works full-time at a minimum wage job without benefits and lives in subsidized housing, doesn't get any help from the dead-beat ex. My MIL raised a son who earned a Ph.D. working a minimum wage job. She owned her own home, albeit a very small one, and the DH did not want for anything. She received neither child support nor alimony from the DH's father (they divorced when the DH was 2). How she did it, I have no idea, but she did it. And, when she died in May (from ovarian cancer--doctor stopped ordering PAP smears after she went through menopause...she did not have to die from ovarian cancer)--she had $~20K in the bank--even though she was only receiving the basic government pension and no pension from her employer. She always planted a garden and the DH can't remember eating processed food growing up.
 
Great article taxy! It's a verbal smack up-side the head to the author of the Slate article. :LOL:

I loved my Mother! I subscribed right about the time they first started publishing it and got it for years. Saved every issue and still had them in boxes in the "attic" space, accessible via pull-down steps in the garage. I ended up letting them go when we moved from OH to MA. I still remember much of what I learned from them, it was interesting whether I've been able to apply that knowledge or not.
I subscribed to them in the mid '70s. Then they had a fiasco with encouraging some farm family to use sewage sludge as organic fertilizer. The soil was ruined and the family had to sell the farm.
 
I subscribed to them in the mid '70s. Then they had a fiasco with encouraging some farm family to use sewage sludge as organic fertilizer. The soil was ruined and the family had to sell the farm.

When they were building the Big Dig here in Boston, they were also overhauling our sewage plant out at Deer Island. Today, the home gardener (mostly) can go out to Deer Island and get a bagful of free processed sewage waste. It has been cleaned and processed to the point that all harmful chemicals have been removed and is now safe to be used for growing your vegetables in it. When I saw the maintenance help turning the soil on the plots here, I also saw a pile of top soil that had been purchased from Home Depot. I mentioned the free fertilizer available out at Deer Island. A couple of days later, I saw a pile of bags from there. BTW, they also tell us that the end water from the process is good enough to drink. I am going to pass on that one. :angel:
 
Great article taxy! It's a verbal smack up-side the head to the author of the Slate article. :LOL:

I loved my Mother! I subscribed right about the time they first started publishing it and got it for years. Saved every issue and still had them in boxes in the "attic" space, accessible via pull-down steps in the garage. I ended up letting them go when we moved from OH to MA. I still remember much of what I learned from them, it was interesting whether I've been able to apply that knowledge or not.

I had a complete set of TMEN including the first one with the newsprint cover. I finally gave them to an aspiring young back to the lander. I didn't really need them I more or less memorized them.
 
We live in a time where people don't have to learn to cook, as long as you can run a microwave you can put something other than fast food on the table.

We also live in a time where we are surrounded by images and marketing showing how cooking for your family SHOULD be done, which leaves many parents feeling inferior (this isn't exactly new).

What is the right thing to feed your family? Is the low carb fad the right thing? Is the gluten free fad the right thing, should I be feeding my family a paleo diet? Am I a failure if I pick the wrong fad diet?

All of this coupled with more households having both parents working and kids being involved in EVERYTHING, it's no wonder that parents take the easy route. Heck I only have to feed Rob and some nights after working 8-9 hours and going to the gym, the though of making food and cleaning up doesn't sound appealing at all. Throw in kids and I'd want to run for the hills!

I'm not making excuses for people, many handle dinner just fine. But when this is brought up on a board with people who have a passion for cooking and are very willing to make time for it, you'll not really get a realistic perspective.
 
I figure you should be able to feed your family at least as well as you are able to feed yourself. It may mean a gourmet meal every night in some homes and Kraft macaroni and cheese or a hot dog in others.

I agree some nights the last thing any of us wants to do is cook. Most folks have one or two items that they can pull together on those nights. The old standby grilled cheese with a bowl or tomato soup, a BLT, scrambled eggs etc...

I was lucky, I grew up in a home with great food. I have some friends who grew up in homes where the best meal was fish sticks, corn and applesauce. Those friends have just as many good memories as I do, they just crave different things than I do! :ermm::ohmy::LOL:

To me the important thing is to get together around the table and share a common experience.
 
We live in a time where people don't have to learn to cook, as long as you can run a microwave you can put something other than fast food on the table.

We also live in a time where we are surrounded by images and marketing showing how cooking for your family SHOULD be done, which leaves many parents feeling inferior (this isn't exactly new).

What is the right thing to feed your family? Is the low carb fad the right thing? Is the gluten free fad the right thing, should I be feeding my family a paleo diet? Am I a failure if I pick the wrong fad diet?

All of this coupled with more households having both parents working and kids being involved in EVERYTHING, it's no wonder that parents take the easy route. Heck I only have to feed Rob and some nights after working 8-9 hours and going to the gym, the though of making food and cleaning up doesn't sound appealing at all. Throw in kids and I'd want to run for the hills!

I'm not making excuses for people, many handle dinner just fine. But when this is brought up on a board with people who have a passion for cooking and are very willing to make time for it, you'll not really get a realistic perspective.

I think the perspective here is rather realistic. (I know I shouldn't think because I get in trouble whenever I do) This site is rather diverse when it comes to cooking techniques and ingredients.

Tossing something in the microwave is cooking and I do it for several things. Hot Dogs & Frozen Veggies come to mind. Quick, Easy and cheaper then ordering out. I do this mainly when I simply don't feel like cooking or am pressed for time.

Now as far as cleaning up goes. I never want to do that. :LOL: I'm heading for the hill also when it's time to clean up. But some things in life we have to deal with. ;)

Fad diets are just that. Fads. If being into the latest and greatest is what you want then that's fine. But don't expect me to feel sorry for you because you won't eat X because it isn't the "right" thing to do.

Sorry I can't but that a basic require of life like feeding you & yours is stressful and unreasonably expensive. TL's like say's much of what I'd say but much better then I can say it.
 
When I worked at S&W, the Engineering Company, one of my duties was to serve the panel from the Nuclear Energy Commission. Plus my regular duties. Always a harrowing day. This was a regular thing on a monthly basis. Yet I would rush home exhausted to get a hot meal on the table for Poo. I didn't slow down until he was about 15 years old. That is when I got rid of the guilt. I knew I was doing the best I could. Very easily I adopted the attitude of "So sue me!"

My neighbors used to accuse me of spoiling Poo. My answer that finally shut them up was, "Who do you want me to spoil? Your kids?" I was really tired of being criticized for doing my best. You think you can do better, than take my kid and you raise him. :angel:
 
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