The Tyranny of the Home-Cooked Meal

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The "burden" of cooking has been discussed...always.

From my point of view, I never found it burdensome or a chore. I must, however, point out that the bulk of my cooking for a family occurred when I was a single mother of three, living (almost) hand-to-mouth, and holding down multiple jobs. In spite of all those obstacles, I still managed to prepare a decent, nutritious meal for my family.

I continued to do that when Buck and I married and he brought two more children to the mix. Both of us were working outside of the home and, again, multiple jobs for both of us. The children had school activities, and things they did after school and in the evenings, so our household was a busy one. Somehow the meals were prepared and cooked.

Even when I didn't know where the money would come from for the next meal or the rent, I didn't depend on packaged or pre-made foods. I've just never been one to consume something I can't pronounce.

I don't know what the answer is except that each person has to find what works best for them and take outside criticism and "expert" information for what it's worth.
 
Just about everything you do generates some level of stress.

I think it depends on the circumstances and the individuals. Some men/women may take great pleasure from cooking and find it relaxing or even fulfilling. Others will hate it and do anything to avoid cooking. We personally appreciate the latter as that gave SO an income for many years.

Home cooking dinner and eating together as a family is the best way to go IMHO, although it's not always possible in today's world.
 
Yes, cooking can be a burden, but as the author wrote, " If we want women—or gosh, men, too—to see cooking as fun, then these obstacles need to be fixed first. And whatever burden is left needs to be shared."

Do they still teach cooking in school? If so, is it taught to boys? If you never learned to cook, it probably makes cooking far more of a burden.

Is fast food really cheaper than home cooked? That's not my experience, but I don't eat at Burger King or McDonald's. If home cooking isn't more expensive than fast food, then it's silly to talk about how expensive it is to cook at home.
 
One of the middle schools I worked in offers Family and Consumer Sciences (cooking and sewing) as an elective, and it was pretty much half girls and half boys. Foods class is also offered at the high school, also an elective. When I was in high school, Home Ec (also cooking and sewing) was manditory for girls, except I was in so many extra curriculars that I got to opt out.

Some days, cooking can be a burden. Most of the time, for me, it's fun. I can understand how, if unappreciated and for multiple family members, it would be a hassle.
 
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What a thought provoking, and well written article, and thanks for sharing it. I'm sure there were many points that "us who cook" never seriously considered.

We all come with preconceived notions don't we.
 
Interesting take on home cooking: Home-cooked family dinners: A major burden for working mothers.

What do you think?
I wonder if this "research" was sponsored by Messrs "Birds Eye", etc?

Admittedly, I've never been a working mother but my mother was and I wasn't brought up on "ready meals" and tins. Neither was mother - her mother was left a widow with 3 school age children in the 1934 with very little money and no Welfare State to fall back on, yet she always managed to produce good, nutritious and cheap food for her children.

As for the "tyranny" and the "burden" of having to cook a meal from scratch after a day at work - well, I used to find cooking my evening meal was rather therapeutic. I still enjoy it. I don't live miles from the nearest shop and, whilst I am nowhere near poor, I don't have a lot of cash to throw around but I still do things like making my own bread and making jams and chutneys because I like the taste, I enjoy doing it and it is a lot cheaper than buying stuff. Very occasionally, towards the end of a particularly expensive month, it can be a bit of a coin flip between a trip to the butcher or a bag of feed for horse but I never go hungry and neither does he.

Just a point. If poor mothers can't afford basic kitchen equipment such as a sharp knife as suggested in the article, how are they supposed to be able to afford ready meals?

Do US schools have domestic science/home economics classes for pupils? I suspect that behind the problem is that a lot of women don't know how to provide good food because they've never been taught, either at home or school.

Any criticism implicit in my reply is aimed at the authors of the article not the poor (in both senses) mothers. It's disgraceful in this affluent day and age that women with children should be left to struggle on in the sort of pest-infested, unhealthy "homes" described in the article. That's positively dickensian.
 
I began cooking at age 8 so by the time I reached high school and had the option to take home ec, I wasn't interested. Particularly since the class mainly consisted of the teacher, who was stuck on herself, teaching proper manners/etiquette and, as far as cooking was concerned, complex things such as brownies and popcorn. The whole curriculum was a joke and no male student would have been caught dead in any of the classes. By then I was so far ahead of that I would've been bored out of my gourd. Instead, I took French, which has been quite useful to me along life's path.

My best friend has a daughter, with a family, who is a stay-at-home mom and could care less about cooking...anything. It's interesting, too, because her mother is an accomplished and good cook and always has been. Not sure where the daughter became disconnected in that area.

Her family is treated to all manner of packaged and boxed meals and otherwise prepared items. I just don't get it. She has the time and the financial resources to prepare her family's meals. Oh, well.
 
I think I've always enjoyed cooking, so being a working mother and cooking dinner never felt like a stress to me.
 
I was a single father from the time Plague of Locusts was 9 months old until he got married at 23, and to even his amazement, I put a hot meal on the table every night. Sometimes fancy and sometimes not, but it was always delicious, nutritious, and it made him feel ambitious (but not ambitious enough to do the dishes!). In fact, he had a friend named Justin, who I used to call Justin Time, because he showed up at our house right around dinner time, several times a week.
 
It's stressful to feed yourself and others?

Sorry but I must be an old fart and don't understand stress in this day and age.

I see where money and/or lack thereof can be a concern. But as a teacher in a business class I took eons ago said. "Chicken necks and backs can be mighty tasty when they need to".

Not having pot's and pans or a decent heat source is a problem.

Sorry if this sounds cold but what money there is should be used for the basics. How many months of the latest and greatest smart phone bill would it take to buy a set of pots and pans at Wallyworld. Last time I checked a cheap set was around $39.95. Yes you need a stove to use them but even a cheap hotplate can be had for $50.00. Yes not the best but serviceable.

And a sharp knife? Steel+stone+a few minutes =sharp knife.

Whiny, picky, and ungrateful eaters?

Here I am again showing what an old fart I am.
As my father used to say "Well if you don't like it you don't have to eat it. This is what I'm providing for you so take it or go get your own". Let me tell you. Lot's of things tasted just fine after that.

Yes I understand that many folks don't view cooking as enjoyable as those who tend to frequent cooking boards such as DC. But to see feeding yourself and yours as a burden and stressful is beyond me. Eating out is one thing but to claim it's all you can do is another.

Guess all the above says I don't buy the premise of the article.

Well you did ask "What do you think?" ;)
 
IMO if you do a little advance planning and preparation getting dinner on the table is no big deal. For me it would take more time and cause more aggravation to swing into the grocery store during rush hour to pick up a rotisserie chicken, salad, chips and dessert than it does to go home and put something together from a well stocked kitchen.

I also admit it depends on the people involved. If you are feeding a family then it should be all hands on deck without any fuss. Even little kids can put the napkins on the table or perform some other small chore. Delegate and let them develop their own way of doing things, don't micro manage the troops. If they screw it up they will have another chance to get it right tomorrow!

I suppose another option would be for everyone in the house to just microwave a frozen meal or fix a bowl of cereal and eat it in their rooms in front of the computer while watching a rerun of the Walton's. :ermm::ohmy::LOL:
 
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IMO if you do a little advance planning and preparation getting dinner on the table is no big deal. For me it would take more time and cause more aggravation to swing into the grocery store during rush hour to pick up a rotisserie chicken, salad, chips and dessert than it does to go home and put something together from a well stocked kitchen.

I also admit it depends on the people involved. If you are feeding a family then it should be all hands on deck without any fuss. Even little kids can put the napkins on the table or perform some other small chore. Delegate and let them develop their own way of doing things, don't micro manage the troops. If they screw it up they will have another chance to get it right tomorrow!

I suppose another option would be for everyone in the house to just microwave a frozen meal or fix a bowl of cereal and eat it in their rooms in front of the computer while watching a rerun of the Walton's. :ermm::ohmy::LOL:
I like your thinking AB.
 
Zagut, I'm an old fart too, but I see the difficulty where someone hasn't learned to cook.

Some people don't even get the basics, and then, mealtime becomes a difficult challenge, plus dinnertime whiney (tired) kids who don't feel they're getting enough attention.
 
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I think it is important that we, as a culture, strive to have an ideology that promotes, family interaction, healthy eating and knowledge of our food from farm to table.
I think it is much more important than extracurricular activities(who is going to Jazz dance after they turn 19?):rolleyes:, hanging with friends. And just as important as school, IMHO. Knowledge of food, its origins and preparations, how to get the best you can afford, is a life skill that people will need to survive for the rest of their lives. Kids need to grow up seeing that at home to realize how easy it is if you show interest and apply a little bit of effort.
 
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Zagut, I'm an old fart too, but I see the difficulty where someone hasn't learned to cook.

Some people don't even get the basics, and then, mealtime becomes a difficult challenge, plus dinnertime whiney (tired) kids who don't feel they're getting enough attention.

I understand not everyone can cook tasty meals but isn't cooking a rather basic skill?

Baby steps at first and after a few fall downs it becomes easier.

Isn't that how we learn?

Microwave Hotdogs as an example. I make them a lot when I want quick eats. Yes not Gourmet (A point that can be disputed) but not difficult to make. Chop an onion, add mustard or whatever you desire. I usually just use a slice of bread so buns aren't required. Why go out and expend monies needed for other basics in life when it can be done at home? I won't add the value of family time.

Aunt Bea, Why would they be watching the Walton's when they could be viewing reruns of Gilligans Island, McHales Navy, or Andy Griffith instead? :D

Rocklobster, :clap:
 
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Aunt Bea, Why would they be watching the Walton's when they could be viewing reruns of Gilligans Island, McHales Navy, or Andy Griffith instead? :D
:clap:

I'm afraid I have not kept up with modern television.

Feel free to watch whatever you like, just remember to delete your browsing history! :ermm::ohmy::LOL:
 
Interesting topic. Much of the article draws contrasts based on income. In one passage the author compared a family living in a hotel room to a middle class home. To me there are more things than being unable to cook a meal for your family wrong with that picture.

It's more about choices and priorities. I cook for the family on a daily basis, work a full time job and so does Mrs 40. Stress is going to enter your life from one vector or another no matter what you do. Each of us has to learn to make lemonade with life's lemons in their own way.

.40
 
I'm a firm believer that you make time for the things you want to do. If you have "no time to cook a family dinner", it's because you've decided you'd rather do something else.
 
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