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Old 07-01-2007, 02:15 AM   #1
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Things Dogs Should Remember

Things Dogs Should Remember
Woof! I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

Kitty box crunchies are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

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Old 07-01-2007, 02:20 AM   #2
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I have printed these out and will give them to Gidgett. I'm certain she reads - words - she certainly reads my mind!
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Old 07-01-2007, 05:16 AM   #3
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LOL! Nice work Tat!
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:20 AM   #4
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I think Tat has been hanging around MY place when I am at work!!!
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:51 AM   #5
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Here's another one...added from experience:

I will not roll in the sawdust from the chainsaw after I've had a bath and Mommy and Daddy haven't toweled me off completely.

Our bichon did this once. What a mess!
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:11 AM   #6
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And another one:
I will not go to the state DOT building across the road and roll in the pile of roadkill they've picked up off the highway. Nor will I bring souveniers from said pile home and sneak them in the house.
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:17 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Constance
And another one:
I will not go to the state DOT building across the road and roll in the pile of roadkill they've picked up off the highway. Nor will I bring souveniers from said pile home and sneak them in the house.
Ewwwwww! Connie, I'll take sawdust any day.
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Old 07-01-2007, 11:23 AM   #8
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I wish my dogs could figure out this one:

I will not run thru the poison ivy and then go home and rub against my human.
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Old 07-01-2007, 11:45 AM   #9
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ROFL - I don't have any to add - I think all was covered already for us!
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Old 07-01-2007, 11:51 AM   #10
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I love these!!! Only if my boys could read!!!
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