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Old 07-16-2008, 04:08 PM   #1
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Things I learned in my old age

THINGS I LEARNED IN MY OLD AGE
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered . . .
ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after
FIVE - All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
NINE - It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
TEN - Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
ELEVEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

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Old 07-16-2008, 04:21 PM   #2
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Oh, thanks! this made my day. Have to share with the rest of my family. They will all agree with you.

First time this happened to me: I got up from a chair and was looking for my glasses. I could not find them in regular place and thought someone put something on top of them and just had to look harder. In meantime, had to go to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Found my glasses! I was wearing them! What will happen next? This is really scary. My days are so automatic that when I do something out of sync I really start to wonder.

Thanks LadyCook 61 for sharing your loving thoughts. There are times I feel that as we get older we start to become more vulnerable like a child. Or shouldn't I think old. My girl friends all tell me to bite my tongue when I tell them about my senior moments. They don't want to think 'old'.
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Old 07-16-2008, 07:39 PM   #3
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Too funny, thanks for the laugh!

(and what is it with everyone calling when you are in the bathroom?? It's like they have ESP!!)
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Old 07-16-2008, 07:46 PM   #4
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Good. Very good on this rainy, glum day.
Thanks for the smiles, LC.


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Old 07-16-2008, 08:32 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyCook61 View Post
THINGS I LEARNED IN MY OLD AGE
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered . . .
ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after
FIVE - All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
NINE - It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
TEN - Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
ELEVEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.


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Old 07-16-2008, 08:49 PM   #6
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I Love It!!
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Old 07-16-2008, 09:19 PM   #7
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12-If time is money, why can't we buy some time?
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Old 07-17-2008, 07:47 AM   #8
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Really funny and true.
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Old 07-17-2008, 09:26 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by TATTRAT View Post
12-If time is money, why can't we buy some time?
Wow never thought of that TATTRAT! That is good question. However, I read in newspaper today that Art Linkletter is 93 and still appears on tv for interviews. How does he do it? So amazing that people are living longer. Don't you think it has something to do with family genes plus having the courage to face each day? Thanks TATTRAT, you really gave me something to think about.
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Old 07-17-2008, 02:34 PM   #10
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Do you need a laugh??: What is the religion of your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '

' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour
and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .'

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied: 'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses;The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;The Baptist type
makes mountains out of mole hills.'

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! (A} Almost Boobs... {B} Barely there... {C} Can't Complain!... {D} Dang!... {DD} Double dang!... {E} Enormous!... {F} Fake... {G} Get a Reduction... {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

Send this to all that will appreciate it!

Oh.....WAIT!!!!

They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen
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