Things we learn from having sons

[texasgirl]

I'm sure some girls have tried these too.

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tie d to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceili ng fan as a b at, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbag e bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.






24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

MY husband, wants to try tieing the paint can to the ceiling!!! That scares me too!!

 

[quicksilver]

You're on a roll.....keep it up!

 

[Garband]

Lol, wow. As I read the thing about Clorox and brake fluid, I was like "I have to try that!" Then I got to 25... =(

Nice list. lol

 

[Dave Hutchins]

Right on Texas girl

 

[suziquzie]

Ya know, if this was 1 woman that wrote that ALL about her boys, you would think after say, number 12 at least, she'd keep a better eye on them! Sheesh!

 

[texasgirl]

are you kidding suzie? LOL boys are SNEEKY!!
When mine were 3 and 5, they still had their naps. well, they ALWAYS whisperd until they fell asleep. on one day, the whispering stopped, so, went to check on them as normal, THEY WERE NOT IN THEIR BEDS!!! i stood there for a second letting my brain take this in. at the time, we lived in a 60's model mobile home. those didn't have normal windows in the rooms, they were rolls outs that only went out about 1 1/2 feet. i looked under the bunk and in the closets, then, i heard a whisper, so, i looked out the window and low and behold, there they are trying to figure out how to get back into the window that was about 4 feet from their heads!!!
at the time, i was SO angry and shaking for what could have happened. needless to say, i whooped their butts and they stayed in their beds the rest of the day!! they never did it again. i can laugh about it now. the look on their faces was priceless!!
there are so many more things and i was a very over protective mom. i think that is why mine are being jerks right now. rebelling!!

 

[suziquzie]

LOL Stacy, I think Lego girl's infamous trick was my #12!!!!!
My 4 yr old, when he was her age scared the bejeezus out of us with the windows...
We are in a split-entry house and it slopes to the back. The living room windows are about 10 feet up. DH and I were talking in the kitchen, noticed it was quiet. The living room screen was out and Nathan was nowhere! I expected to look out the window and see him laying there..... nothing. We had a baby gate up at the top of the stairs cuz LG was just learning to crawl, Nathan hadn't been over it yet. Well apparently he was screwing with the screen and popped it out, and climbed the gate to get out the front door to try to get the screen back in.
I am SO done having babies!!!!!! (2 year olds is more like it)

Now I better get back to watching because I think Nathan is coloring a stuffed dog purple with a marker........

 

[texasgirl]

ok, so, what is the thing yours did that could be added as a "DOH"!!? boy or girl

 

[Jeekinz]

"You can't repel fron a second story window using Christmas lights."

 

[LadyCook61]

hmm I have two sons, and I don't remember them doing any of those things. Not that they were angels , they did give me some white hairs.

 

[Garband]

Here's one I did. lol

If your son and his best friend are running as fast as they can out of your yard with baseball bats in hand/on the ground at the bottom of a tree, they may have provoked a nest of bees/hornets/wasps. So watch out. It could be dangerous to be outside. lol

 

[suziquzie]

Got one... last summer my oldest.....

A rake handle really will pop up and smack you in the face just like on Ton & Jerry when you step on it.......

 

[Constance]

My grandfather and his brother decided to play doctor and operated on the family cat. They actually cut open it's belly, put soap inside and sewed it back up. The poor thing lived a few days before it died.

 

[Katie H]

In my "parent life" I've raised 5 boys and 3 girls. Sometimes the girls are as challenging as the boys.

At any rate, one morning I noticed our Siamese kitty, Porky, looked different. Upon closer investigation, I realized that ALL his whiskers were about 1/4-inch long. Hmmmm?

Come to find out oldest son and daughter had used scissors to give Porky a whiskercut. The children were only about 3 and 5 at the time so I had to come up with a suitable "consequences" punishment for them that would be age appropriate.

What I did was explain to them why kitties have whiskers and how, now, Porky was at risk for hurting himself, etc. I poured it on really thick and I could see in their faces that they were sad and sorry for what they had done.

As punishment, I made the two of them kneel in front of Porky and apologize for what they had done. They offered a very contrite apology. I almost wet myself the whole scene was so funny, but I didn't. Would've ruined the whole punishment concept.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

No.#2 son shot No.#1 son between the eyes with BB-Gun. No.#2 son had a penchant for throwing everthing that entered his hand. He didn't cae where whatever object he threw went. he once threw a toy dinosaur and hit No# 1 son in the eye, gouging the white. Fortunately, no real damage was done.
Another time, a year or two ealier, same son threw a pipe straight up into the air. He had baby sister to the right of him, and baby cousin to the left. The small pipe came straight down on his head, litteraly. Again, no damage done except a small bump on his head.

No.#1 son played with fire in his second-story bedroom. He accidently caught a lamp-shade on fire, and in desperation, pushed it out his window to the back yard. Didn't find out about that until a month or so later, when my neighbor told me that he had witnessed the act.

No.#1 son angered a ground hornet nest, with a baseball bat, just after inviting his younger brother to look at the cool nest. no#.2 son received multiple stings.

And don't even get me started on the dishwashing chore battles with my kids.

No.#2 son used to take his mountain bike, head for the edge of a nearby gravel pit at full speed, and launch himself into the air, to drop twenty feet or more before touching down.

Patriarch of the two boys, used to jump off of the edge of the same gravel pit, cliff side, and drop thirty feet to the bottom, and tuck and roll out of it for the fun feeling of free-fall. Talked a freind into doing it. His knees collapsed, and he went chest and face into the sand. He was spitting out sand for several minutes, and had to clean it from his eyes and ears as well. he wasn't impressed with the activity. I thought he needed to learn how to tuck and roll better.

Note, freinds, cousins and brothers, given rocks, apples, water balloons, arrows, darts, BB's, or any other missile or projectile, will hit one of their cousins, siblings, or freinds with said object, for the fun of it.

After teaching number#1 son to handle a dirt bike, in a gravel pit, the same son begged me to get on back, so he could impress me with his driving skills. I got on, never expecting him to do the next thing. He launched the bike into a wheelie, leaving me sitting in the sand as he sped forward. How he howled in laughter. Why it never struck me that he would do such a thing to his loving father, I will never know. It was standard operating procedure for me and my freinds throughout our teenage years. And though I had never told number#1 son about the trick, I believe that some behaviors are simply either hereditary, or instinct with boys and men.

And then there's cold water over the shower curtain. "nuff said about that.

Boys love flying things, especially when they are aflame. Gvie them rockets, poster-board sized paper airplanes, styrofoam gliders, etc, and a gravel pit, and you can be assured that you will see some flaming, flying thing in a death spiral, dropping dramatically to the sandy bottom.

Boys and young men honestly believe themselves invinciple. They will happily run and jump between piles of telephone poles, from chain-link swings, from branch to branch in terrifyingly tall trees, etc.

Boys and young men find it a thrill to "ski' behind cars, in hard soled shoes, traveling along on icy roads at 30+ mph.

Take 1 pair of skis, or a snowboard, one very steep, very long gravel pit side, covered by snow, and a group of boys, young teens, and one of them will go from the top to the bottom, in a straight line, generating speeds in excess of 60 mph, just to prove who has the most guts. I won.

Dad's will swing there boys on a single stout rope suspended from a sturdy branch, over fifty foot chasms, as hard as they can, because they are reliving the times when they did the same thing, and want their kids to enjoy the same excitement.

When excitement and adrenaline are the rewards, boys and men become irrational and unsafe creatures.

There is no single thing that makes a boy happier than when he beats his dad at something. So all dad's out there, take one for you boys once ina while.

How any of us lived past the age of twenty, I'll never know.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[buckytom]

lol, there are few things as much fun as when they're on fire!
i don't think my sisters ever had a barbie that wasn't partially melted.
and if your boys are stringing a line between an upstairs window and a tree trunk, something on fire or filled with fireworks will shortly be gliding down it.

i remember getting ideas from watching the little rascals, too. i remember pulling out the drawers in a dresser, so my sister and i could sleep in them. of course, it happened to be the tall dresser that wasn't anchored to the wall, and had a big fish tank on top.
thankfully, the dresser caught on the bed and kept us from being crushed, but we had a lot of fish and water and gravel everywhere.

chlorine and brake fluid, huh?

 

[LadyCook61]

My grandfather and his brother decided to play doctor and operated on the family cat. They actually cut open it's belly, put soap inside and sewed it back up. The poor thing lived a few days before it died.

oh geez..... I really hate when people harm cats and other animals.